Lost Touch

Poem 3 of 4 that I found on my phone. More thoughts about the girl I lost. Just wrote what came to me.

I hide myself from prying eyes,

I'm fine is the most common of lies.

I admit I have my good days and bad.

Times I'm happy but mostly sad.

I see a picture of you and I smile,

We haven't talked in quite a while.

I've become a shell of my former self.

It's effecting my overall health.

I lost a part that's hard to express.

Now I succumb to unhealthy excess.

I want to be better, but I've lost my way.

Friends try to help but don't know what to say.

Advice they give, falls on deaf ears.

I see in their eyes, for me they have fears.

A downward spiral I thought I corrected.

Turns out I miss you more than expected.

I try to reach out but my attempts fail.

I get nowhere like a dog and its tail.

Do you think about me at all?

I've dialed her number, but can't make the call.

It kills me that we don't speak,

Hearing her voice is the peace of mind I seek.

A fool’s errand to keep her in my thoughts,

She's moved on and clearly, I have not.

Author's Note

Review if you like. Your thoughts and opinions are always welcome and encouraged. As always thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Pam.]

You move, randomly, from talking to the reader, to talking to "her". At first I found it odd, but I re read it and I think it works. So implicit in the poem, you are trying to take a step forward, but can't. You once again resort to talking directly to her. It works. You can possibly make it appear more dramatic by separating the rhyming couplets so there is a space between each one. It also tends to draw the reader into a more organized grouping and may attract more readers. Try that in whatever word smithing document program you use and see how it looks. Good luck to you! Your poems have something more than the very average theme of love lost/my heart is broken.

[lijoabrahamblog (Lijo A..]

Very well written. A lot of people especially me can relate to it quite well.

[Joshua McNay]

Thank you for the review, sorry for the delayed response. Glad others can relate to it. Feels like it means more that way.