Harness

Last night I had dinner with friends, normally get a table but got a booth instead and I felt uncomfortable all night. When I left I wrote this down in my anger and sadness. Trying to fix me, I guess.

I wish I could somehow harness how I feel at this moment.

Harness how I feel sitting in a booth at a restaurant

Harness how I feel trying on clothes

Harness how I feel searching for a larger size

Harness how unhappy I am at this moment

Harness how uncomfortable I feel

Harness the sadness that makes me go into a dark place

Harness that which takes the side of me I love and buries it

Once I harness it, then I can in turn channel it into something to be happy about

Not just forget it the following day

My memory isn't that bad, so why do I forget?

Do I just convince myself every time that I will do something?

In reality I do nothing and the feeling I should harness come back to haunt me once more
I'm afraid because I'm sad

Who can I talk to about this anymore?

Where can I turn when I feel all alone?

I get sad because I know I'm not alone but feel I am

I just wish I could harness that which I hate and turn it into something

Something to be proud of, something I can love

I don't know what sort of traumatic event in my life it will take to make it stick

This feeling I have needs to stay around, trust me I know that's sick

When the feeling fades I just end up hurting myself

When I feel the way I do right now, the horribleness makes me do better

Why is that the way it is? Why am I doing this to me?

There is a sadness I don't know how to overcome

Why am I so broken?

Author's Note

Review if you like. I know if doesn't rhyme like my normal stuff. I wanted to try something different, free verse if you will. As always thoughts and opinions are appreciated.

Reviews

[Jade Whatever]

I really like this! It is a really good piece. I love how it doesn't really rhyme but it gets the point across with how you feel when you wrote it.

[R. J. North]

I feel your pain over having no control over things you feel you should be able to control. I've got really bad social anxiety and depression, relatable.
Anyway! It's a good piece! Seems to really express everything you were feeling in that moment and the frustration you feel. Looked like a good expressional piece

[A.W. Carl]

I like this idea a lot. Title and the thought of "harnessing" the feelings in this world are cool. It didn't quite flow and connect with me. Not becuz it didn't rhyme, just seemed a bit jumbled.

I look forward to reading your other work!

[Joshua McNay]

I admittedly just wrote it while frustrated and just wanted to get it out. I wasn't thinking of a flow or oddly enough a rhyme scheme. Thank you for the review. I might look into trying to refine it.

[Stan Lee]

I'm no expert in this field but you have some good clear thought patterns happening here. I guess the next step would be to put thoughts into actions. Well done for expressing your feelings with such clarity.

[Joshua McNay]

Yeah putting the thoughts to actions in what seems to be tough for me. Thank you for the review!