The Concrete Jungle

I walk around the city seeing the beauty. I pass strangers who are running straight ahead. They never look up. They never see the beauty. They never appreciate. What is the point of their life? Is that paper pushing more important than enjoyment? Somewhere along the way man has lost his way. He forgot nature making friends with concrete jungles. These concrete jungles offer no compassion. Man’s heart has become as hardened as the jungle he lives in. Walk over the poor. Don’t help the needy. Everyone is the enemy. Let them starve they should have got a job. Pick up the child at school. Spank them. They shouldn’t be drawing in class they should be doing their math. The concrete jungle is seeping into the family life now. The father is hard to the arts. The child is hardened to family. The child envisions his dad dying so the child can find peace. Hate has spread. Mother came home. She sees the child crying says why did you make my child cry? He screams at her. Don’t you start this is what happens with your soft love crap. The business world is tough. Stay home and deal with your home crap. I will handle the real work. The man sleeps on the couch tonight. The wife sleeps in a cold bed. Another heart is hardened. All over the country the same thing happens in every home. The wife wakes up she leaves. She meets her lover, a man who listens to her. She comes back home before the angry husband even wakes up. The child wakes up in the morning still hurt. This scar doesn’t heal. He wishes his father would die. His father wakes up, he wishes he never got married and had kids. He leaves for work. He is late he rushes by, he cuts others off, he drives recklessly not caring for the people he is hurting. The world wishes for this mans death. He has no value except to a dollar that doesn’t last and continues without him. A family is ruined. A child never forgets. The concrete jungle has eaten again. Nature tries to get back in, but concrete crushes, an unholy entity.

Reviews

[InsanityWriter]

Very powerful. You've captured a lot of feelings in this piece. Excellently done!

[Imara]

".. paper pushing .." I love the twist on the common phrase here. Very clever.
".. become as hardened as the jungle .." hardened should just be left as hard.
I love your depiction of the "concrete jungle" that we usually praise so much as the greatness in America as a living, parasite. Slowing eating it's inhabitants and changing them for the worse from the core. I love the shortness, the quick pace through the story. It makes me feel like one of those people rushing around with no real purpose.

However I have one note, I think this could be improved with spacing. Like when you move from the general society to the specifics of home life being changed. It's a switch in focus and idea, so a new paragraph would help seperate that and make it easier to read. Also maybe double space because it's so small and you pack so much into it, it's hard not to skip lines. Haha all formatting suggestions. Great job. I really loved this :)

[Acucena G.]

You I found myself related to this because my nature is always trying to do things that they were not on me, great job

[QuietlyCrash]

This is really powerful.
"Nature tries to get back in, but concrete crushes, an unholy entity"
That is the line that sticks with me most. It's such a sad story and it's so awful, but the worst part about it all is that it happens everyday. Life is just crushed under the heels of the wicked, there is hardly any beauty left within this world. Al we have our dreamers, praying for the day we can finally breathe and live again. This was written so well more people need to see it. Thanks so much for sharing keep it up can't wait to read more.
Best Wishes,
Riley :)

[Jayden Ireton]

Thank you very much for reading. I am glad that it hit home.

Best Wishes to you as well