Alabama Days

The dogs are barking bared teeth
The men that hold them have the same look
Menace on every side
Sweet Jesus what did I do to be placed here

Men marching around with giant guns
They have no issue pointing at me
The environment is steaming with hatred
Or maybe it's intolerance

 

Signs everywhere saying n****r die
Signs that say keep the animals away

It is just another day in Alabama

 

Ropes in trees, I pray to God no bodies are attached to those ropes

Why do they hate us

Men of the church shaming God with their slurs

The burden of being a Negro is heavier than the world.

Reviews

[Courtney Johnson]

The one thing I seem to notice - and I'm not sure if this is just your style or no - is that there's hardly any punctuation at all. While I'm not one to judge on a style, I do recommend adding a few things, such as quotation marks around what the signs are saying, and a few commas.

All in all, very interesting and dark poem. Nice job!

[Jack...]

dusty dirt roads and brown tinted fences line the streets were hate evolves unto itself, so more often than peace. Fueling fear, canceling joy, hate is widespread and uncontainable, so they would have us believe. Very poignant and gripping, right in the face kind of theme. Nice.

[Jayden Ireton]

I enjoy your response a poem in itself. Thank you for reading.

[oh,hey.]

This is a very emotional piece, enjoyed reading it

[Jayden Ireton]

Thank you for taking the time to read it.

[Imara]

Wow. Powerful. I got chills man and I don't get those easily. You took me there, your imagery was spot on. I got the image of traveling backwards in time first I was on some ghetto streets with the barking dogs, the back to the civil rights movement then further back when we had just been freed maybe a little after. So strong and your ending lines were so powerful! A great job, I can't comment on anything except for maybe here "Why do they hate us" I think there should be a question mark but I only noticed that on my second reading of it so it's no biggie. Great Job. I really loved this.

[Jayden Ireton]

I am happy that I got an unusual response. You cannot ask for more than chills for your readers. Thank you for such a long thought out comment. Yes I thought about the question mark but I wanted very simplistic. One of my favorite African writers of the past deliberately left out marks and even spelled some things wrong in sarcasm to the white readers who thought Africans were too stupid to write poetry.

[Imara]

Haha very clever and a very nice tribute :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

my thoughts match Girl Friday's--

this reminds me of "Mississippi Burning"

the damn intolerance...the thought of one human being worth more than another.

it is sickening...this poem is really good in its point of view...and you create such suspense...the questions as to why, and the question as to whether this speaker will survive.

[Jayden Ireton]

Yes it is quite appalling that this happens. Thank you for reading. I am glad it leaves you with a question. I enjoy so much when I am left with something to contemplate.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This is a great literal piece, but also a great metaphor for oppression and hatred in general. There are too many people intent upon "hate" when what they should be doing is attempting to fuel the engine of tolerance. I like the feel of this one, as I said, very literal, gritty, honest and a good lesson to be learned.

[Jayden Ireton]

Thank you. I am glad that it was enjoyable for you.