I Still Love You...

2007

You can scream my name

Though it’s not like I’ll hear

A shell is what I became

When I lost who I held so dear

 

Try driving to my core

Try seeing my whole being

I’m not who I was before

The real me isn’t who you’re seeing

 

Lost in shadow and in pain

Lost in darkness, not one flame

Lost in hatred and in love

Lost in memories of my drug

 

Craving still for that sweet addiction

Craving still for his luminous light

Trying to accept that he’s fiction

Trying to let myself give up the fight

 

Jesting not as I speak these words

I’m not dramatizing one syllable

I know I sound like a broken record

But his place is not refillable

 

They say with time that I’ll forget

They say that I’ll move past this regret

They say that I’ll love more than this

They say someday I’ll find some other bliss

 

My memories are not beginning to fade

Even though months have past

Even still they cut like a fresh blade

I wanted so badly for us to last

 

I made him into my world

Because he chased away the night

In an instant every dream unfurled

And left me to face my fright

 

So now I sit here looking outside

Gazing into the darkened sky above

Wishing I could throw his memory aside

Wishing I couldn’t feel this love