I SEE YOU (Just If)

Ever didn't have something or someone you felt belonged to you?

 

If I breathed in the light of your emergence

If I kneeled in complete mercy of your feel

If I told you how I high I feel

If I told you how deeply your desired the reason I deep breathe at night and grip my pillow tighter.

I’ am where you belong you and him are wrong, don’t I feel righter.

Would you deny my sacrifice to just be apart of your life.

To just touch her

Clutch her

Lust to love her

Or be the serene parts of her dreams.

Its weird because I never chose to find love, though it notices me

He humps you like he’s thirteen

I’d grind you just for a taste of your body’s stream.

You see, he’ll never understand the richness of your beauty.

Till he has no money

He will never enjoy the fruits of your intellect

Till he goes hungry.

Like he’s, looking for gold when he has diamonds

Already rich and still doing crime

So I must ask one more time.

If I gave all I had to be your now and him your then

If you only knew how I shutter just by glancing when you grin.

If only I could be the beautiful fate you never chose

If only you know how high I place your soul

Could I have you?

Make me your statue

 

I fit into your mold

 

I’ll let your lips be the pages

My hands make the words

With our love the greatest story told.

Just If………

Just If………

You gave me your name.

Reviews

[Candid Writer]

Wowwwwww weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! This is hot. I always have a soft spot of "What Ifs," but this my friend did not need my soft heart for its passion to sink in and melt away gently. It would warm even the hardest of hearts. I cannot pick a favorite line, because the are all equally great and powerful. After reading this poem, it felt like a great and mighty wind swept through my heart, yet it did not tear it apart... it just allowed it to melt away effortlessly.

C'est si bon mon ami. C'est brilliante!

[Nikki]

hot diggity dayum!!! WOW!! this is sooo WOW!!!

so many ladies would love to feel this, when someone looks their way...just the depth of passion you speak of is rare...

so amazingly told....

im glad to see you writing on here....

this is amazing!!!

*le sigh*

[Theta S. T.]

dam.....dam....dam....hold on i need to collect myself real quick....wooooooooo...ok i'm good and by the way my name is THETA!!!! LMAO..

Naw but honestly your a great writer i have really been enjoying your work

~~theta

[Li Li]

I wish that I could hear you speak your pieces....because if your voice is at all close to the one I am reading with over here.....then please help me gather myself after this one. This is like some poetical Barry White. You spit this and it makes somebody feel all frazzled with a bunch of emotions. How could a girl not pay attention to a man's creed? This really exposed the realness of the heart when it comes to finding what you know is right for you.

In the seventh line...did you mean "apart" or "a part"? That was the only thing that caught me like...hmmmmm? Other than that.....you put something down that one can no longer say "can't be described".

Much love,
Li

[Jillian Ashe]

This was great! I really felt the yearning and want, it twisted my heart. There were a few points that could be cleaned up with grammar and punctuation but small. It's really a great write. My fave part was this:
To just� touch her

Clutch her

Lust to love her - Excellent!!!

[Qui]

If "IF" was a fifth, we'd all get drunk. LOL!
But ur poem was more potent than the dankest of skunk
Some real "IF" funk-- that I definitely could get with
~I'm Qui~
A Word Witty She--- & Definitely DIGGIN IT!*S*
xoxo
Keep up the REALIZE'ing spit!

[Crystal Elisa]

i know that we're all poets and writers here but damn, i can't think of any words to tell you how good this was. I could pull out some classic lines but i'd re-write the whole damn thing...that "
don't i feel righter?" line was just..::sigh:: and "he humps you like he's thirteen" brilliant! and then you bring it home with: "he�ll never understand the richness of your beauty./Till he has no money/He will never enjoy the fruits of your intellect/till he goes hungry./Like he�s looking for gold when he has diamonds/Already rich and still doing crime" S**t! man you put the rest of us to shame with this one... really, i'm feeling unworthy... the slant rhymes and the funky grammar it was all just truly inspired. sometimes we're lucky to come across a piece that's just perfection, man, you were blessed enough to write one! How awesome is that!

-CE

[T. Jones]

"If I told you how deeply your desired the reason I deep breathe at night and grip my pillow tighter.

Would you give me your fire?

I� am where you belong, you and him are wrong, don�t I feel righter?

Would you deny my sacrifice to just be apart of your life?"

Man, I love this poem. I had to read it a couple of times just to let the meaning of it sink in. There's so much longing here...it breaks my heart. I can't think of anything else to say about this poem besides: amazing.

[Tony Murray]

This was the perfect poem for me to read tonight. I was looking for something that had that "damn that was a great read" feel and I hit the jackpot here. This is sensual and real on a level that cannot be fabricated, only created.

"You see, he�ll never understand the richness of your beauty.

Till he has no money

He will never enjoy the fruits of your intellect

Till he goes hungry."
This so perfectly describes how I feel when I think someone doesn't deserve or respect the one they are with. I can't say enough good things about this write. Wow.

[Jadarae]

Oh my goodness. This was absolutely beautiful. I've felt that way about someone. Those emotions don't always fade either. Especially when that person has touched ou deeply and you know that you can't have them. But you still hope. Dang... This was the perfect "Realize Fix". :-) Glad to see you're still doin' it. Keep them comin'.