Milestone

The first day of college is always the most hectic. But if you lose yourself in the chaos, you might find something you never knew was missing.

It was a warm summer day, the air unusually fresh in the metropolis that was Los Angeles. The UCLA campus was filled with life. Music could be heard off into the distance as students frantically made their way to their classes. Max was the only exception to the rushed atmosphere, who had a couple of hours until his next class.

Max sat on a bench, staring hard at his list of classes, trying to decipher his own handwriting. His reward would be the unveiling of where his next class was going to be. Was that an L or a 1? He gave up trying to read it. Instead reached into his bag for the campus map, hoping it would provide a clue.

“Hi there!” said a female voice, surprising him. Max, who was too focused on the list, failed to notice someone had walked up to him. He looked up and saw a cute girl who had leaned over to eye-level in order to catch his attention. She had long brown hair, soft full lips, and mesmerizing brown eyes. She was definitely out of his league.

“Um...Hi,” he managed to reply.

“I was wondering if you knew where the Student Union was at?” she asked while he stared deep into her eyes. “I have an hour break and I wanna go get something to eat.”

“Um...Yeah,” he lied, entranced.

“Great!” she said with the prettiest smile Max had ever seen. “I'm not that great with directions. So if you got a minute, do you think you could show me where its at?”

“Um...Yeah,” he said, unaware of his repetition.

“Thank you so much!” she said, grabbing him by the arm. Max continued to stare into her pretty eyes as she helped him up. He picked up his backpack and looked around full circle, having no clue where the Student Union was. He thought about sneaking a look at the map in his backpack when he noticed most students were walking towards the music.

“Um...this way,” he said.

Max tried hard not to stare at the girl as they made their way through the campus. She was definitely pretty, but more importantly she was actually talking to him. He might actually make a cool friend this year! He imagined walking around campus and running into her, waving and calling her name. His eyes widened as he suddenly realized that he had no clue what her name was.

“Um, my name is Max, by the way,” he said, proud of himself for stringing together a sentence while looking at her.

“Melissa,” she said with another smile. “Sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier. I'm a little nervous, first day and all.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Really?” she said with genuine surprise. “I figured you for a Sophomore at least.”

Max gave a barely discernible shrug, impeded by the weight of his backpack. People always assumed he was older than he actually was, ever since high school. His mother had him dress more formally (or rather, nerdy) for his age; nice button up shirts and slacks. She also forced him to take every advanced class the school had to offer. She told him that she was preparing him for college, and that once he was there, he would fit in perfectly.

However, now that he was here in college, he noticed things were different. People dressed casual, they acted casual, and it seemed like the only thing that wasn't casual was him. It was a much different picture than the one his mother painted in his head. Max looked over at the cute girl, (Melissa, he reminded himself) and was thankful what his mother said wasn't true.

Melissa turned and caught him contemplating her, and he quickly averted his eyes, trying to hide the fact he was staring.

“You make it seem like you've never walked with a girl before,” she said with that pretty smile.

“Well,” he said nervously. “I wasn't really expecting to meet someone like you on the first day.”

“Someone like me?”

“You know...Someone pretty.”

The music became much louder as the band came into view. Melissa stopped to check out the band on stage while Max frantically looked around for the Student Union. He didn't want to embarrass himself any further by getting caught in a lie. Luckily, he saw a giant banner that said “Welcome UCLA Students,” and right underneath it, “Student Union.”

“Oh cool! You found it!” Melissa said after turning her head to see what Max was looking at.

“Yeah. Well, Here you go,” he sighed, dreading the good-bye.

“Well...” Melissa said, expectingly.

“Well...” Max said, confused.

“Aren't you gonna ask me to lunch?”

* * *

They sat down at a table in the school's pub, which was strangely empty for the first day of classes. One of the lights was burnt out, adding a slightly romantic feel to the room. Max glanced down at their reheated slices of pizza and saw the grease was still bubbling on top; he gave a disgusted look.

“I know what you mean,” Melissa said as she grabbed a handful of napkins to dab the grease off. She handed Max some napkins for him to do the same. He was slightly taken aback at the thoughtful gesture.

“So I don't get it,” Max said while dabbing his pizza.

“I know, like anybody needs that much grease on their pizza.”

“No, not that. I don't get why you picked me.”

“Why I picked you for what?” she asked while giving him a strange look. It was a look that he was all too familiar with. “You make it seem like I'm torturing you or something.”

“No! No! Nothing like that,” he said, panicking.

“Relax,” she said, reading his face again. “You're wondering why I asked a nerdy looking guy like you to escort me to a greasy slice of pizza?”

“Well...yeah...I guess.”

“Alright then, lemme explain,” Melissa said. She first took a quick bite, set her slice down, and then pointed to a guy at the other side of the pub. “You see that guy? Nice clothes, gelled up hair, and cologne you can smell all the way from here.”

“Yeah...”

“D****e-bag.” she said, and resumed eating her slice.

“What?!” Max said, laughing. “Do you know him or something?”

“Nope,” she said, drinking the last bit of her soda.

“Then how do you know?”

“Cuz he looks like a d****e-bag, clear as day.”

“So, because he has nice clothes, nice hair, and smells good, he is a d****e-bag,” Max said, smiling.

“That's right,” Melissa said, as she grabbed Max's soda and took a sip. “And as for you: Your look says honest, hardworking, and deep. Not to mention you're kind of cute too.”

Max blushed as he finally took his first bite of pizza. He quickly swallowed as he realized something. “Wait a second, I sound really boring.”

Melissa laughed and touched his arm. Max relished the touch and felt butterflies in his stomach.

“Well you do dress kinda boring, but I was right about the depth. And lemme tell you, depth is never boring.”

Max took another bite from his pizza, and noticed that she had already finished. Melissa looked at the time on her phone, got up, and threw away her trash.

“Sorry Max, I have to go to my next class.”

“Oh,” he said, the butterflies ceasing their flight in disappointment. “So then, I guess I will see you around campus, or something?”

“Or, how about I see you here this time Wednesday?”

Melissa pulled a pen out of her bag, grabbed Max's hand. and wrote down her phone number. She then grabbed her things and headed out the door, waving good-bye. Max waved back, the butterflies having resumed their flight in full force. He took a sip from his soda, and realized it was already empty; Melissa having drank it all. He looked over to the door where she had just left, and smiled.

Author's Note

What do you think of the dialogue? How is the pacing?

Reviews

[Marilyn Philips]

This is really cute, seems like you posted it awhile ago according to when the other reviewers commented, but I'd like to see this continued. The pacing is good, the dialogue seems pretty natural, and so does the interaction between the characters. I definitely agree that Max could use a little more description, but it doesn't distract from the story that the protagonist isn't described 100% in the first portion of the story. It's not as if it all has to be crammed into one sentence. :)

[Shane Blackheart]

Very, very cute story! I liked the dialogue between the characters, as I felt it helped to define them. Max seems to have a low opinion of himself, but Melissa seems to be a bright, kind, and sociable person. If ever continued, I think Melissa would definitely do wonders for Max and help him see the world in a brighter light. As for the pacing, I think you accomplished that quite well, too. I've always had difficulty figuring out whether others have got their pacing right, because the only person that truly knows what's going on and how it's supposed to progress is the writer him/herself, so we can only really get a general idea. Other than all of that, one thing I noticed was a bit of a lack of description for Max. You described his style well (the bit about his messy handwriting was good), but we don't really know too much about him physically, like his hair style, if he's tall or short, and all that stuff. It didn't ruin the story at all, though. Just a minor thing. Overall, a good short story.

By the way, welcome to Writer's Cafe'! I've been here for a little while and I love it here, the people are very nice and the atmosphere is great. I'm always open for a read request if you need an opinion :)

[Celeste]

Hello! I see that you've recently joined WritersCafe, so welcome!

Since you're worried about your dialogue, let me be the one to tell you that it's all right. It's not too fast, and it's not too slow, either. You don't have to worry too much about the pacing because it fits the story nicely.

I really enjoyed reading this, especially the conversations between Max and Melissa. This is a nice introduction for a novel, if you ever think of continuing this.

Keep writing!