Tabitha

A piece for a friend and lover long gone from my life

Tabitha is not hot, No. She is succulent. Overwhelming beautiful to the eyes. That alone would be enough to drive YOU mad but for me; her attitude, sin, innocence, and style.

She looked the part. A rich queen. Cultured and spoiled. She chose the "best of" and it made her. What she does now I don't know. What she did, What she did to me, What she still does to me; I do.

I forced myself to not think of her sexually. She came on to me as a nurturing mother, expressing interest while  feeding me grins or pecks. I told her up front, I hope or think I did, to stay away, to be warned: if she played with my fire I would capture her. Dare I say forever. All I know this life she is now mine, in presence or not, until I bring myself to let her go.

She wanted to know all this mystery. She wanted to feel the freedom. She wanted, the soapbox I carry unintentionally, my alienated pride. Dare I say Tabitha you are a Mamma's girl. She craves that "punk" she's only seen on mani-cans in glossed New York magazines.

Easily intimidated in the spotlight, but its a way of life. Shame, guilt, loneliness, drugs, all the s**t seems so cool in the prom dressed aftermath you hear about Hollywood. When you have them , when you have fear, freedom, fear of freedom, you see others and their VW Jetta's and their "war torn" petticoats.... or you stop seeing them,. they are the part of the architecture of which  you no longer interact. Raising babies and playing poker on weekends. Sims following traces in the perpetual motherboard. I was privelaged to fuel her imagination; She straddled a fence between my world and some modern American dream.

Could I have had her? If either of us had any less respect for ourselves (or each other) ; certainly.
I wont forget her holding my hand, stroking my hair, feeding me Love prose. She elevated my universe. The same emotions, she shattered with as much grace and enthusiasm as when she began. Worse; repeatedly, for fun.

Only her seduction, my sedation, not her body alone would have lured me. Only her wit could have me begging for more. Her body, a prize, kept me blind, seeing only a well rehearsed  vail.
I was convinced all the while, beneath her shell, some Love for me had found a home.

I know I loved her., No matter your perception. Once I had hold of Love, who decides if I let it go. I did not. I don't need her essence in artifacts or molecules to have captured what she was. Her name, lightly written, will always ignite a pilot light that is an occupied corner of my heart. Tabitha.

Reviews

[M.Babu]

I'm not much into prose poetry, it makes it so difficult to read:( But i'll give you this: Nice story...well told my friend.

~M.Babu~

[Vanessa Rico]

So poignant. i understand what it is to love and then lose. It is hard, I know, but you also grow and learn things from that relationship. Thank you for sharing such an intimate story with us!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Joshua, you smart and clever man, a great message in prose and paragraph writing, well done, great read.

[RTB]

tabitha awe lol good poem kind of hard to read in paragraph structure without my contacts but its good :)

[Lily Mae]

This is amazing. You had me going there for awhile on if it was love or not.. Great ending..xx I love the last line..x

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was an emotional tale. I think that you did a nice job on this. It was so cute too. Thanks for sharing. :)