STORMY SLEEPLESS NIGHT

STORMY SLEEPLESS NIGHT
angry wind, vicious biting rain,
roaring in from the north west
like honed ice blades
slashing at me wrapped in my royal purple hooded cloak,
our first winter storm out of the north,
colder than the ice glaciers slicing down the gorges of alaska...
i am walking the bluffs
near westport
it is almost midnight,
i could not sleep,
i left the warm bed
in the bed and breakfast inn
where i am visiting with friends,
i do not know why i can’t sleep,
the day although stormy and cold, was good,
filled with the laughter of friends
the warmth of a crackling fire, fine food and wine,
why,
why could i not sleep warm and happy,
instead, i walk the icy bluffs,
torn by rain and wind weeping for reasons beyond my ken,
and then,
his voice comes out of the howling wind,
"you know, you know,
the last time you walked these cliffs, it was with me."
and,
like a hot poker from the deepest fires of hell
it stabs me clean and quick,
we spent our last vacation walking these bluffs,
just a year and one month after they told me i would die because i had AIDS,
just one month past them telling him about the cancer invading his body,
too well metastasized for any hope of a cure,
he would be gone in a year and five months...
i am alone
walking these dark bluffs
waiting for whatever mask AIDS wears when i loose my battle,
they gave me five years, way back then,
but,
i have remained here, alive and dancing my dance
for twenty nine years,
i am alive on borrowed time,
but, i am alive and i remember his warm laughter now and all the joy we shared
i return to my bed in the inn,
i fall asleep warm, wrapped in our memories...

Reviews

[JayceeC]

This is beautiful. You are such a descriptive writer that you pull me into your scenes effortlessly, but you also manage to make me feel that edgy restlessness. It's odd what we can bury within our minds, and how it will prod us to tumble to the forefront and be examined. Happy times masking the other more precious memories, perhaps because they are so intensely personal that they aren't to be shared. And somehow despite sadness and pain of loss, they are a comfort. Love this one JC. Jan

[jeannemarie coulter]

thank you...i do miss him and yet in many ways he is with me even now...

[JayceeC]

I think the people we love, always stay close to our hearts. They're so much a part of us. But I also feel that they can talk with us when we need them. Whether that is knowing what they would say and "hearing it" in my head in their voice or something more, I'm not sure....

[Cherry Pepperweb]

This is heartbreaking. When we lose someone we love, so many things remind us of those last days.

[jeannemarie coulter]

thank you for the kind words

[wordman]

poetry about life are always heart touching,because they are real.and sometimes you are wore out but sleep will evade you.because whats on your mind,you think and it wont shut down,i have 3 chronic health problems
but i never really think about them.life is not fair,but somehow god equals it out,now i`m suspicious about the 29 years,but i get the message and i wish you a long and happy life

[....................]

what a gorgeous write, Jeannemarie...i felt the restlessness you described and then drew a deep sigh when you found sleep on the pillows of memories... yes, there is a sadness in this but also such hope... well-done :)

[Jamestown]

Wow! This piece has so much depth and emotion attached to each line,
Definitely a well painted picture that is sad but also happy all in one:(:)
This journey was a fun ride, sorry at had to be at your expense,
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[jeannemarie coulter]

thank you and blessings to you as well...