OF MICE AND... (a scientific study)

a poetic tale

OF MICE AND... (a scientific study)

on the ranch when things were tight

my dad, my brothers, and my husband,

after he joined the family,

sometimes worked off the ranch

for extra income

 

one year, my husband, chuck took a job

as swing shift foreman

with one of my brothers in his crew

at an alfalfa pelleting mill

outside elk grove california...

 

now where animal feed

is made or stored, there

will always be mice,

hundreds of them

you might say, an

endless supply

for answering simple

scientific questions...

 

like...

 

lunch break, about 8pm

the entire crew sitting around

an old 50 gallon feed drum

with a fire flickering cheerfully within...

a question is posed...

 

“if you drop a cat into

a 50 gallon drum

full of mice

will the cat catch mice

or will it run”...

 

much back and forth speculation,

then a possible way to discover the truth

“lets check it out, get one of those empty drums,

we’ll catch every mouse we find

for the rest of the night

and put them in the barrel”

 

then

 

“yeah oh yeah, my brother pipes up,

we have 26 barn cats at home

that’s enough to test the theory,

we will have scientific proof

one way or the other..."

 or the rest of the shift
no mouse poked his unsuspecting
head out from under a bale of hay
without being caught and dropped
with out an apology or a by your leave
into the drum under a
quickly manufactured wire mesh lid

when 1 o’clock arrives
they have collected somewhere between
200 and 300 fat grey field mice
they load the barrel in the back of the pickup
and head home, where we are comfortably
warm in our beds totally unaware
of the great experiment
about to be performed
on the patio
outside the dining room

barrel carefully centered
on the patio
cats slowly gathered
and one at a time dropped into the barrel
from which they bolted in terror
until wes brought
the old three legged female
from his bedroom,

he had rescued her from an animal trap
when she was a kitten
and raised her on a baby doll bottle
she thought wes was some sort of god
and presented him with a litter of kittens
every spring she was by now the grand mother
of almost all our barn cats"

when wes dropped " ol 3 leg"  in the barrel,

she bounded right back out with a mouth full of mouse,

and dashed around the corner of the house...

a few seconds pass and she bounds up

on the edge of the barrel, to drop happily back in and then out again,

with another mouth full of mournful mouse,

and off she races again...

 

now,

 

by this time, the hoots of laughter

have waked the household,

and we are all arriving on the patio,

fastening robes and asking what the ruckus is about???

just watch, my beloved, chuck, chortles,

at which point "ol 3 leg" reappears,

jumps into the barrel and out again

with another mouse captive,

she is sure she has reached heaven,

 

gone...

and back...

in and out...

 

about 150 trips have been made

before it dawns on the laughing crew,

she is not staying

away long enough to eat

the mice...

next trip in and out

we follow her around the corner of the house,

where she, with beautiful agility

for a three legged cat,

leaps into my brother’s bedroom

through the open window...

 

peering in the window

the merry, laughing humans discover

the truth, and a small fact we had forgotten,

 

about 2 month earlier

"ol 3 leg" had presented my brother

with 6 kittens in his underwear drawer...

 

all six were darting about like crazy

after the 150 mice their mother had presented to them

as a learning experience...

 

and,

 

"ol 3 leg"  was sitting on wes's bed,

smiling,

as only cats can smile,

and,

my mother turned the night air verbally blue,

and aged 10 years in one fell swoop...

 

a learning experience for both mice and men...

 

Author's Note

a true farm tale shared which leads to laughter and an understanding of why farm and ranch wives age faster than other wives...

Reviews

[JayceeC]

Loved this. Yes, I can just imagine this group of men not stopping to think where those mice may go...lol

[....................]

perhaps the greatest story I have read here to date... this is just fantastic, Jeannemarie... you should turn this into a children's book with illustrations... seriously, it is amazing... :D

[Perkele.7885]

With that shock of red hair you sport, I could very easily be led to believe that this is all blarney and a tale for a stormy Irish Night. But, I am gonna believe you until I have reason to think otherwise.

[jeannemarie coulter]

just ask my mom...fortunately she is alive...turned 89 last december...and still claims her kids will be the death of her, while rolling on the floor laughing

[dan]

This is too good. Thank you for the lesson in Mice and 3-Legged Cat Science. And my mom always told us that Slovak women aged fastest with 3 kids misbehaving. If she was still alive I'd send her this and say, "See Mom, you can't argue with science!" Thanks for sharing this. take care...dan

[wordman]

lord what a tale,you should make a movie from this lol great tale

[jeannemarie coulter]

and true as well just ask my mum...lol

[wordman]

i`m sure it is,no one could make this stuff up

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed your story. You need a book for many to read and enjoy. You brought me in and gave me a surprise and a good story. I like three leg. Thank you for sharing the outstanding story.
Coyote

[jeannemarie coulter]

thank you very much, i am delighted you enjoyed the tale...

[Coyote Poetry]

I did and you are welcome.