IN RAT TIME

the now of is of a dark sort...

IN RAT TIME

the time of sadness
echoes in fires of sound
through honeycomb hollows
in all the shuttered mind rooms
with a vegetation of fantasy
dripping like aged spanish moss
where shadow corpses hollow time
crying...

 every skull face
rattles to
echo emptiness
and
the night of being
is too long
and
the sounds of loving
are too cold...
the laughter
has abandoned it all...

for,
the rat lives in all the walls,
rooms in all the minds,
feeds on all the souls,
is
glutted by all the death,
war,
hate...

forming icicles
in the halls of nothing
where hollow shadows
walk
whispers that cannot
talk
listen...you will hear...

the rat stalks...
the now of is has lost it’s charm
and
unexists as dark as deep
and
what there is was never seen
and
what was had has never been...

for all of it was always souled,
the damned rat owns it/us all,
holds all primary liens,
licks the bones
 clean as christ
tossing them in the deepest dark
where
skeletons rattle like dice
crying...




"

Author's Note

took some advice, did a bit of an edit...you were correct, my friend...

Reviews

[Confuser]

jeannemarie: I love the concept, the metaphor, we are at the mercy of so many things; but those whispers we will never know, for we don't have any control. I believe every word of Dan's review; this is a powerful writing. It is dark, but it's a trap, a place we all can survive, scary and undefined, unique to all, when looked at metaphorically. We are slaves to demons if we choose; love the way you built the poem. I was captivated, and very impressed. In Rat Time; yep, they're not going anywhere anytime. So glad Dan sent a RR. Brilliant work. I love it!!! Thank you so much. Dale

[Olivia]

dan recommend this to me, and thank god.
I am amazed by this piece.
The way just you organized and told the story.
Very beautiful.

[jeannemarie coulter]

thank you very much

[Amber Lily]

This is a very interesting topic. Rats indeed do get to spectate all the silly things the human race does, and they are always left in the rubble. Meant to live in places that we have destroyed. Rats in general are often a sign of death, disease and war.
Funny enough my friend has four pet rats and they are the sweetest little things. When their domesticated they make great pets! Haha.
A great write :)

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

This is savage and raw. The phasing is prefect and although it doesnt produce a pretty picture, it is breathtaking in it execution and the outcome is truly a work of art. On the first read i am gonna be honest, i didn't truly get the full scope of it and that made me prejudge it. after rereading it and putting aside my own prejudgments i found an almost calm to it. You did a great Job.

[Robert]

A dark story you just told us all. Very riveting a natural writer you are.

[Maja]

That gave me a really disturbing image. I absolutely love the idea behind this poem, in all its terrifying truth. Great job and I am so glad I read this. :)

[sereenaoutloud]

This is such a great write and the story you tell within fantastic!! :)

[....................]

you are a natural story teller, no matter what the genre, and a top notch poet... i love your work so much... this is wonderful :)

[jeannemarie coulter]

thank you FT...have some fun with PIRATE QUEEN...add a few lines...find her a lover...win her a ship...it will be fun...jc

[dan]

jeannemarie, I have been reading your pieces now for what? About a month? All these reads had me sitting on the verge of proclaiming you a poetic savant, a star. After reading this I am no longer on the verge...you are a star and I am one of your biggest fans. This piece is simply stunning in its complexity and simplicity, exquisitely blended. This may be the best piece I have read on WC in months. Not only am I putting this in my library favorites but I am doing something I've never done...sending read requests to some of MY favorite poets. This deserves a wider audience for which I know you will shine. Thank you for the read request. Can I be prez of your fan club??? I've got work to do...take care_dan

[jeannemarie coulter]

thank you for the kind words and thoughts, and please take care...jc

[Perkele.7885]

Jeannemarie. I read it through but, you lost my attention at the first hello, hello

[jeannemarie coulter]

took your advice and did the edit...not so heavy to read now...