Roundabout

A trippy story within a dream that seems to repeat itself.

I hate touching the cold door handle at midnight. It's never warm when I grasp it. I turn the keys in the lock and the door opens with a whining sound. I walk inside the apartment with the same welcoming smell that lingers the building. I personally enjoy the stuffy smell, but I dismiss it and continue walking to my room. I see the door cracked open and put my keys in my pocket, understanding I won't need them. I open the door and see that lovely girl I get to come home too every long night and every somber evening. She lays not moving on the couch sleeping. The quietness of the room amplifies the squeak of shutting the door. I wince at the sound, hoping it will not make her. She simply rolls around drowsily and I sit on the couch with her. The steady breathing calms my mind from the disorganized thoughts sprinting in my mind. I rub my eyes and lay my head back, hoping to drift to sleep. Before I could fall asleep she wakes up. Her black hair covers the perfect places on her face and she looks at me with her dark blue eyes.

"Common. Let's go to bed," she says, holding out a hand. I take her soft hand and she helps me stand up. We walk to the bedroom and I open the door. Suddenly a cold breeze pushes me against the wall behind me and she has vanished. The bedroom door closed before I could see what was inside. I call her name, confused and scared. I hear her respond through the bedroom door. The door handle is cold and I twist it, opening the door. The dead, dark, winter landscape makes my eyes widen. I see a street, dimly lit by the lamp posts. I see her at the end of the street. I take my first step toward her and the door closes harshly behind me. I turn around and try the cold door knob. It's locked. I continue walking down the street and see a street sign for a roundabout. I look forward, but see no roundabout. I keep walking down the street start to run to her. She's up against a wall with another door. I take her hand and she starts to grab rub her head.

"I'm going insane!" she yells. I take her cold hands and she starts to cry.

"What's going on!" I exclaim.

"I'm not sure. Open this door." I open the door and we walk inside. It's almost like a room with dark, reflective, polished marble. You can hardly see yourself and I squeeze her hand tighter and we see a dim light ahead.

"Go toward that light," I tell her.

"Okay." It gets warmer and warmer as we get closer and I feel her hand get colder and start to slip away and she's gone.

"Where did you go!" I yell. I look around in the dark room. It's a fruitless action when you can't see the hand in front of you. I continue going to the blurry light. I wipe my tears away and open the door at the light and see that I'm back home. I suddenly startle awake, facing her dark blue eyes again.

"You alright? You were dreaming. Let's go to bed," she says. I nod my head, baffled by the dream. We walk down the hallway and I pause to open the bedroom door. I look at her and she looks back confused. I put my hand on the door knob and feel it. It's cold. I turn around to face her eyes again. Her bright green eyes. I gasp and push her away from me. She hits the ground and her head hits the floor. She cowers, holding her head with her hands and groans in pain.

"What are you doing!" she yells. I see her eyes turn dark blue again and I back away from her in fear. She stands up still holding her head and she opens the bedroom door angry. The she is sucked inside. I realize what had just happened and I pound the door and struggle to turn the knob. I kick in multiple times and it finally crashes open. I see her on the bedroom floor with a knife in her gut. I kneel at her side to comfort her as she draws her final dying breathes. Her hand slips from mine and her hands grow cold. I close my eyes and find myself of the couch again. She's sleeping at my side once more and she wakes up, looking at me with her dark blue eyes and her black hair. I know that I'm safe now from whatever dream I had. I take her warm hands and we get up to go into the bedroom once again, but before she opens it she pauses a minute.

"You alright?" I ask her.

"Yeah..." she responds, trailing off. "Just a dream."

Author's Note

Tell me what you think of this. After writing Dark Enchantment I thought it'd be fun to write another story like it and after writing this one I'm not too sure if it's as good a story as Dark Enchantment, but still worth putting up here. I hope you enjoy it and if you've not read Dark Enchantment yet it's good. Give it a go!

Reviews

[Rana]

You are skillful. Surrealistic sketching of a story is quite a delicate matter. You were able to create the right atmosphere, never overdoing anything, anywhere. Seeing as to how this is just your second writing in this genre (which happens to be my favorite genre), I would say you were really good. You should write more of this stuff, experiment more, find out where your mind could take you. Talking about this piece, I found it catchy from the beginning what with its soft simplicity and food for all the senses through different kinds of imagery. Just one thing (if you don't mind), a tip, in this line "The steady breathing calms my mind from the disorganized thoughts sprinting in my mind" - the repetition of 'my mind' so close by obstructs the flow. So if you could do something about that. Hmm, the plot is nice, brings to mind movies like Triangle and Inception, though there sure is a shade of originality. I liked how the eyes changed color and I totally loved the ending hinting at wondrous chilling possibilities, it's so effective and impressive. Do keep writing. :)

[Joey K]

Thanks I'm glad you liked it. I do enjoy writing these types of stories. They're short and I try my best to make them well written. This is my second story I've written in this kind of genre and I'm glad you read my other one. I assume you're talking about Dark Enchantment. I personally refer to it as the best one I've written. I wasn't too sure about this one though. Thank you for the reassurance and pointing out some of the flaws.

[Rana]

Though i read it later i wasn't talking about Dark Enchantment, i was saying this genre was my favorite.