Scene 2

***Characters in this scene***

Ben

Therapist (Unnamed so far)

Description: Extremely scholarly, well educated, and formal. Fond of Ben, although she seems to get slightly blunt and irritated with him at times. Her speciality is eating disorders, so she was a bit puzzled as to why Ben and chosen to see her for his OCD, but it turns out that she was the only psychologist within a 20 mile radius that was 100% covered by his insurance.

(Ben sitting with his therapist)

Ben: I’ve never been able to pinpoint where exactly my issues with women stem from. Ivy says its because my father was misogynistic, but I don’t really agree with that. 

Therapist: Was your father a misogynist?

***Cue Flashback***

(Young boy, around age 10 stands outside dribbling a basketball. Middle aged man wearing a baseball cap and a mustache approaches him and puts his arm around him)

Father: Son, let me tell you a little something about respecting women… See, the thing is, women aren’t people, so you don’t have to respect them. Alright, good talk son. (Pats Ben’s shoulder and leaves)

***End Flashback***

Ben: God no! He was great!

Therapist: (Writing on notepad in a quintessential therapist manner) Mhm. Mhm.

Ben: My sister says my disorder might have something to do with it. I mean, its tough to stick with a person when you’re so picky right? Like the slightest thing about someone will get to me so it makes romance nearly impossible.

***Cue Another Flashback***

(Teenage Ben on a date with teenage another girl)

Teenage Ben: So what’s your sign?

Girl: I’m a scorpio. 

Teenage Ben: SON OF A B***H! (Throws chair against wall and storms out of restaurant)

***End Flashback***

Therapist: Well obviously there are multiple factors. It’s a complicated issue you know.

Ben: Yeah, true. (Aggressively pulls at a thread on his sweater)

Therapist: And I don’t know if you remember but this but, you’re married now. You can worry about this issue a little less. Honey, honey, just cut if off! (hands ben a pair of scissors). Tell me about Ivory.

Ben: Ivy.

Therapist: Ivy. Tell me about her. What do you like about her? And be specific. 

Ben: Oh man well, where do I begin? She balances me out. Stresses me the f**k out, but its worth it. Better than not having her. She’s not perfect by any means which is just makes her even more endearing. Her apathy is not only impressive and kinda sexy, it’s f*****g fascinating. I mean how does she manage that of lack give a f**k? She’ll walk in a room and throw her jacket on the floor. The floor! Without even a second thought! I mean how the hell? I’m jealous of that in a sense. I would think maybe being around her, well, I would pick up on her mannerisms a little bit, like almost absentmindedly. They say that the reason couples tend to look like each other when they get older its because they spend so much time together that their skin ages in a similar way. They’ll be out together in the sun in the same place at the same time, and the wrinkles around their mouth would form similarly from all the times they’ve laughed together. So I always find myself wanting to adapt to her. It’s like she’s this big powerful force I need to succumb to. Not to say I’m using her in any sense, I mean god I f*****g love her. She’s the only person I’ve never wanted to run away from the second they do something that upsets me. Sometimes I think every thing about us that could be different, is different. But then I tell myself “No, thats ridiculous, we have so much in common.”  I mean, we both like Star Wars! And  even if we are different in every sense of the word, we still balance each other out. But still, she manages to be so complicated even with apathy being her strongest trait. It’s like she’s a code I’m constantly trying to unlock and I’m just guessing numbers at this point.

Therapist: I have a hard time believing this is your first time ever being exposed to someone who is apathetic. Why does she compel you more than others with such a trait?

Ben: Oh well, of course its not my first time. I went to high school you know.

Therapist: No need to be sarcastic. 

Ben: Sorry. Maybe her age has something to do with it. Or maybe its because she’s hot, so she can get away with it. Either way it seems different with her. Like she’s not doing the apathy thing because she wants to be “cool”, so she puts on a guise, its much more intense than that. It reaches to her bones and her core. 

Therapist: You know a “lack-of-give-a-f**k” to that extent is often a symptom of clinical depression.

Ben: Oh if this girl doesn’t have clinical depression I personally give you permission to pluck each one my pubes off individually. Of course she has that s**t. Never been diagnosed though. No opportunities. God, she’s never had an opportunity for a damn thing in her life. The second I walked into her house I knew I needed to get her the f**k out of there. She told me she used to sleep in an open drawer when she was a baby because there was no room in her house due to all of her siblings. I proposed to her that night, no ring, no one knee bullshit, just blurted it out. Neither of us are much one for romance. She told me about her home life for hours that day and got real heavy. I couldn’t take it anymore so I said to her, “Look. I have money. I have a place. You don’t have to have anything to do with me if you don’t want, hell, we don’t even have to talk to each other, just marry me. Seriously. You never have to deal with any of this again.” She said yes, but it wasn’t an enthusiastic yes, it was a “sure, why not” yes. And I had never been more relieved in my entire life. I had never felt so positively about a “yeah, sure, whatever” before. The second she graduated, she walked right out of the building, stuffed her cap and diploma in her oversized purse, and met me at city hall.

Therapist: ….

Ben: What?

Therapist: Ben, are you sure that this is a legitimate marriage?

Ben: (Slightly offended and confused) Well yeah, legally, I have all the papers-

Therapist: No, I mean…how do I say this? Alright, who’s idea was it to merely go down to city hall and not have as much as a simple celebration for the occasion?

Ben: Well we went to Olive Garden after! And hers, she’s not much one for romance.

Therapist: I see. Why did you tell her “We don’t even have to talk to each other”?

Ben: I was joking! I didn’t actually say that.

Therapist: But there has to be a reason you mentioned that in your description a few minutes ago. 

Ben: She just acts like she hates me sometimes. I don’t take it personally though, she tends to be very antisocial to everyone. Alright, you know I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t propose to her as a favor, right? I’ll admit to that. But I wouldn’t propose to someone I didn’t love. I’ve met plenty people in s****y situations, and I’ve never really felt the need to interfere nearly as much…but with her its different, cause ya know, feelings and s**t. And she wouldn’t have said yes to just anyone, right? I mean there has to be something about me that appeals to her, right? At least I’m the lesser of two evils. That’s enough for me right now, I guess. Well no, maybe I’d want to be-

Therapist: Ben, does this girl even like you?

Ben: I…I don’t know.

END SCENE TWO