questions

How did I end up like this

How did this become me
What was it I said or did
How come you couldn't see

I was lost inside myself
No way out from this hell
I was made to do time
And this room became a sell

Solitude turned to loneliness
I just wanted a friend to hear 
But I was all alone in this
Depression became fear

It was too dangerous to feel
It was a risk I couldn't take
So I made myself so numb
In the hope I wouldn't break

I lost all enjoyment in my life
I couldn't be happy anymore
I tried hard to talk about it
But at me they would claw

So I kept it all inside myself
And it just made my mind sick
People tried their best to use me
So I made a wall of stone and brick

No-one tried to save me 
Years past me on by
I tried hard to carry on
But I was living in a lie

I would think of suicide
I would think of self-harm
I was desperate now
I had to feel calm

But everything was just the same
Relief is a momentary way to cope
I wanted more than this for myself
I wanted to give myself hope

Only my head is filled with questions
There are things I have to know
I need all these answers 
Before I can go

How did I end up like this
How did this become me
What was it I said or did
How come you couldn't see
I have to know what became of me