Falling

Please

Hold me

Together

I am broken

The pieces of me

Everything that I am

Is slowly falling away

Becoming nothing more then lies

Why are you running away from me

For you alone I took off my disguise

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

I really liked the shape of the piece. It gives a physical aspect to the emotions of falling...into pieces. Kinda like a Hershey's Kiss melting in the sun.

The piece speaks to me of someone who had a friend who they had gotten very close to, opened up to and now that friend has left and the one left behind can't find a way to keep sanity together in their mind.

Great first poem!
Wolfie

[FallenWingz]

Hi jayray...i always liked your poetry esp whne they relate to your meotions of angst...it corelate well with the shape you have chosen....

[Legacy]

jayray1975,

You fell... so sorry.

Enjoyed the unique form and how it appears you are standing at first glance, pieces of your heart start melting away... until finally there is a long stain left on the floor.

You are flattened~ indeed love does this to us at times. You made it abundantly clear you have fallen. Sorry for that, pick your pieces up soon and write!

Have a great day,

Legacy

[tyLLanI]

Nice etheree.

[Raven Starhawk]

Marvelous in description as well as flow. It is like a ride into another realm for me. It speaks to me and for me also surrenders truth that falls into emotional pieces like jewels under a hot sun.

[Darryl Davis]

This one intrigued me and I rather enjoyed it. One thought: the form of the poem - and this is just me - lead me to believe that a gathering of the pieces would be the eventual end point...but it wasn't. I'm just wondering if the form really lends something or if it distracts.

[MysticMirage]

Wonderful Etheree indeed! It reads beautifully and the rhyme in lines 8 and 10 adds music to it.
Well done!

[Daytonight]

I absolutely love the form you used with this poem. It brings the poem to life. The poem is well penned. The occasional rhyme and flow is really well done. Keep up the good work!