anonymous and unimportant

self destruction is laughable at this point

i just want to be forgotten
a face you cant put a name to in a sea of dead eyes
anonymous and unimportant
i want to cut myself in dirty basements
and use the dust on the floor
to clot the wound
take drugs that put holes in my brain
and destroy this temple they pray to
this body, this mind that they need and want
this tool that was never meant to be one in the first place
and ruin it for everyone
i want to heat up knives and brand patterns in my arms
breathe smoke until i pass out or vomit, whichever comes first
put my jugular vein on tap to spurt 10 foot blood spatters
across unclean floors and rooms at my free will
and laugh at the drop in blood pressure
as my head swims and my knees fall to the floor
i want to empty my stomach of nourishment
choke on fragments of wood
atrophied and destroy beyond all recognition
because i hate this thing that i have
that they made into such a commodity
that they deem more precious than gold
just to break it in front of them
and hurt them
leave them with nothing but the pieces
to remind them of what they had
and what was taken away

Author's Note

note for reviewers?......you're a critic. thank you, but honestly.....who cares.