memories are for amateurs

too beaten down to even try to care
abandoned, exiled, vilified
no one feels safe around me now
don't react
the laws of cause and effect
do not apply
when it comes to trauma victims
trying to heal
an outsider for the rest of your life
because of things that were done to you
many years ago
that were out of your control
but you'll be held accountable
for what it turns you into

when you don't trust anyone
everyone will try to win your trust
they all want to coddle the wounded
you are only conquest
to people pleasers
and predators
all trying to string another
wounded victim along

i promise
when the blood starts to spill
and the eyes go wide
you will see where the lines are drawn
who meant what
who said what
who is all talk
and who is full of s**t
when the violence kicks in
the truth is revealed
forced out into the open
like squeezing out the poison

don't get mad at me
because you thought you were a lion
but found yourself a mirror
and you were only a lamb
dont resent me
because your talk goes nowhere
and when things get a little hard
you fold into yourself like a child

i will shed you like the dead skin from a healing wound
i've ignored greater pain than you will ever amount to
i find myself walking calmly
away from the burning foundation
that used to be my life
arson is not my strong suit
but i have no problem burning it all to the ground
memories are for amateurs