AM I POSSIBLE ?

A Story by jayanth

my friend recently brought up this topic and I just wanted to write something related to that because it really shook me when I heard about it.

AM I POSSIBLE ?

Brown eyes, long nose, not-so-big-ears and almost pink lips didn’t matter to me when I looked at my face after what happened a few minutes back. That’s when the question came up, I didn’t want to know anything else. I never thought anything about this maybe I never understood anything about this until today. I feel bad for them, my Parents. They don’t show it out though, but I could see it, the Pain.

I could feel my heart and mind fighting over what happened as I kept looking at myself. Smarty pants brain wanted to leave it aside and move on but sweetie pie heart wanted an answer for the question, it couldn’t see them getting hurt. I needed to know, I was hurt too seeing them getting hurt. I’ve decided to find out myself. I open my laptop as I kept questioning myself and Google should answer it I thought to myself when I typed what I wanted to know, and yes I got it. I knew it.

I wanted to see them, I wanted to shout at them, I wanted to prove them that they are wrong with their questions, I wanted to shut their mouth for questioning and blabbering those words out to my parents, I wanted to tell them everything is in the gene, Yes, I am a fair skinned girl with dark skinned parents and that doesn’t give rights to anyone to doubt them. But, I didn't google about this for the fact that those people are doubting them, that was one of the reason though but not the Soul reason.

I went out to say goodnight to them and I see them embracing each other on our sofa, I couldn’t resist smiling. I went right in between them to join their embrace. I could feel their warmness as I lay on my father’s lap and my mom’s touch on my feet as she massages them were soothing. Even in that wonderful moment, I could still feel a bit of hurt poking them, I knew that was something which we cannot control, but that can be prevented. Yes, I found the answer.

I stood up and gave them good night kisses and went back to my room and stopped to look at them before I close the door as they continued to embrace themselves again and I could see my mom in tears. I want to make them proud, I should thank them actually for that day. I wouldn’t have been here if they were not there that day. Riverside they said, that’s where they found me. I’m glad that they did, they didn’t know anyone here in this city and they never wanted to admit that I’m adopted, and that led to all the questionings and doubts.

I wanted to do something, I wanted to prove the people something.
I know I was adopted but I wanted to know a situation like this, do they happen? Genes, that was what put up on the internet. That was the answer to my question, AM I POSSIBLE? I’m glad I am possible, yes and to all those who goes through the same situation. My love, you all are possible.

© 2017 jayanth

Author's Note

This piece is just something that I've never thought of writing. Your reviews are important. TIA.

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Reviews

conversations with her ..

I really enjoyed this poem, and I’m looking forward to reading more of your pieces.

I'm kind of new on here and it would be an honor if you can review my 4 new recent poems. (The world is ours, Nostalgia, Paradise, and You)

Thank you and Keep up the Good work!

Posted 6 Years Ago

DiskartetHaraya

I was browsing through the Discover feature of WritersCafe and the opening got my interest. Sadly, while this interest was present, it did not last long.

As someone already pointed out, (and this is a crude way to put it,) what you see doesn't make it to what we readers see. JayG has already done the explaining. I'm here to ask specific questions, to point out practically WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGS WE DON'T SEE, EXACTLY? Among them are the following.

What happened before? When you answer this, consider a few things.
First, it does not have to be revealed at the start of the story. Where your story starts depends on what you want to highlight. In this case, it's the fact that the character was determined; though we're curious to know why, it's not all about the past.
Second, it does not have to be told in detail. How much or how little detail on the backstory you include depends, again, on what you want to highlight. Yes, you mentioned that people were talking. But people always gossip. Give us something concrete. A neighbor refusing to lend them something? The parents fighting?

What do you mean by "possible"? Possible means something that can happen, but not yet. Yet you have a character who obviously "happened" already. What are you trying to say? Were the neighbors mocking her ability to make her parents proud? Again, "show, don't tell". Make it concrete. What were they saying?

I know you've received a lot of comments already but here's to the possibility that you're not giving up.

Posted 7 Years Ago

Rusteangi Ruba

Nice piece of writing...
Keep on writing for a better improvement.

Posted 7 Years Ago

7 Years Ago

thank you :)

JayG

• Brown eyes, long nose, not-so-big-ears and almost pink lips didn’t matter to me when I looked at my face after what happened a few minutes back.

Here’s where your problems start. Think about this from a reader’s viewpoint. Someone we know nothing about is talking about events we know nothing about in a voice that’s impossible to hear. Remember, when you read this, the picture is there in your mind. But the reader doesn’t know the speaker’s age, gender, situation, where they are in time and space, or what’s going on in the moment called now. So for them, when they read this, the picture is there in YOUR mind. Again, from a reader’s viewpoint, why would they want to hear that things were worse before the story began? Worse than what?

Might it not make sense to begin the story with story instead of history—especially history for which the reader has no context?

The problem no one warns us of is that readers aren’t seeking to know the details of what happens in the story. That’s plot—Story with a capital S. It’s the framework, and every bit as interesting as any other historical record. And how often to you read history for entertainment? I sure don’t. The story we seek lives in the heart and mind of our protagonist. Not what happened, but how the things that happen cause the character to react and struggle. Readers don’t care that the character was made to feel terror, in a horror story. They want you to terrorize THEM, and make them afraid to turn off the lights. Knowing the character feels terror is a fact—an intellectual response. The reader’s terror is an emotional response. Only the emotional response is entertaining.

When we tell a story to someone, we need them to hear the emotion in our voice. We provide that by changes in intensity, tone, cadence, and more. We drop our voice to make them bend closer, to tell them that what we’re saying needs to be listened to with full attention. We may take a slow, deep, breath to indicate that we are about to impart something important, and we place a growl in our voice, and bite out our words to indicate anger. And when the story turns happy there literally is a smile there.

How much of that makes it to the written version you provide? Not a trace. The reader can’t hear us. And while we can tell the reader how a character speaks a line we cannot tell them how WE speak it.

When we tell a story to someone, we need them to see the emotion in our expression, eye movements, and head’s attitude. They need to see the visual punctuation of our gestures and body-language.

How much of that makes it to the written version? Not a trace. The reader can’t see us. Obviously, the writing skills we learned in school did not include instruction on how to do that

The short version: The tricks of verbal storytelling are inappropriate to the page. And when we try to use them, as so many hopeful writers do, we don’t realize they’re not working because we do hear the emotion in the voice in our head, and know the gestures.

So it’s not a matter of good or bad writing or talent. It’s that, though no one tells us, the writing skills we learn in school and the storytelling skills we use every day don’t work on the page. Fiction requires a set of skills different from any other, that must, like any other professional skill, be learned and practiced before it can be called on. And that puts us squarely in the situation Mark Twain described with, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”

That’s what you need to work on. To see the breadth of the problem, you might want to poke around in the writing articles in my writing blog. Then, a few books on writing technique, to ground you in the nuts-and-bolts issues, would be a great idea, to build a full understanding of the mission and the tools available—to get rid of the “just ain’t so,” issues.

I know this wasn’t what you were hoping to see. But given that pretty much any profession has its own body of specialized knowledge and technique that must be mastered, it’s no big deal to spend some time, and maybe a bit of coin on acquiring ours. And in the end, writing isn’t a destination; it’s a lifelong journey. So if you write a bit better every day, and you live long enough…

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

Posted 7 Years Ago

• Brown eyes, long nose, not-so-big-ears and almost pink lips didn’t matter to me when I looked at my face after what happened a few minutes back.

Here’s where your problems start. Think about this from a reader’s viewpoint. Someone we know nothing about is talking about events we know nothing about in a voice that’s impossible to hear. Remember, when you read this, the picture is there in your mind. But the reader doesn’t know the speaker’s age, gender, situation, where they are in time and space, or what’s going on in the moment called now. So for them, when they read this, the picture is there in YOUR mind. Again, from a reader’s viewpoint, why would they want to hear that things were worse before the story began? Worse than what?

Might it not make sense to begin the story with story instead of history—especially history for which the reader has no context?

The problem no one warns us of is that readers aren’t seeking to know the details of what happens in the story. That’s plot—Story with a capital S. It’s the framework, and every bit as interesting as any other historical record. And how often to you read history for entertainment? I sure don’t. The story we seek lives in the heart and mind of our protagonist. Not what happened, but how the things that happen cause the character to react and struggle. Readers don’t care that the character was made to feel terror, in a horror story. They want you to terrorize THEM, and make them afraid to turn off the lights. Knowing the character feels terror is a fact—an intellectual response. The reader’s terror is an emotional response. Only the emotional response is entertaining.

When we tell a story to someone, we need them to hear the emotion in our voice. We provide that by changes in intensity, tone, cadence, and more. We  drop our voice to make them bend closer, to tell them that what we’re  saying needs to be listened to with full attention. We may take a slow, deep, breath to indicate that we are about to impart something important, and we place a growl in our voice, and bite out our words to indicate anger. And when the story turns happy there literally is a smile there.

How much of that makes it to the written version you provide? Not a trace. The reader can’t hear us. And while we can tell the reader how a character  speaks a line we cannot tell them how WE speak it.

When we tell a story to someone, we need them to see the emotion in our expression, eye movements, and head’s attitude. They need to see the visual punctuation of our gestures and body-language.

How much of that makes it to the written version? Not a trace. The reader can’t see us. Obviously, the writing skills we learned in school did not include instruction on how to do that

The short version: The tricks of verbal storytelling are inappropriate to the page. And when we try to use them, as so many hopeful writers do, we don’t realize they’re not working because we do hear the emotion in the voice in our head, and know the gestures.

So it’s not a matter of good or bad writing or talent. It’s that, though no one tells us, the writing skills we learn in school and the storytelling skills we use every day don’t work on the page. Fiction requires a set of skills different from any other, that must, like any other professional skill, be learned and practiced before it can be called on. And that puts us squarely in the situation Mark Twain described with, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”

That’s what you need to work on. To see the breadth of the problem, you might want to poke around in the writing articles in my writing blog. Then, a few books on writing technique, to ground you in the nuts-and-bolts issues, would be a great idea, to build a full understanding of the mission and the tools available—to get rid of the “just ain’t so,”  issues.

I know this wasn’t what you were hoping to see. But given that pretty much any profession has its own body of specialized knowledge and technique that must be mastered, it’s no big deal to spend some time, and maybe a bit of coin on acquiring ours. And in the end, writing isn’t a destination; it’s a lifelong journey. So if you write a bit better every day, and you live long enough…

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

Rating /100