10-15-2010

Alone, I was traveling down the road for a while.

My mind lost, caught up in it all.

I kept on walking the long isle,

Never was I expecting my next fall.

 

Feeling queasy, sick, in pain;

Condemning myself to my tomb.

Am I to lose or to gain?

All this time standing, breathless,

My hand o'er my womb.

 

New information, shock!

The possibilities endless.

Afraid, disappointed,

A knife through my heart.

Please, help me end this!

Sometimes the taste of life can be so tart.

 

It was my decision,

My own call.

Setting appointment dates, financial aide.

All this time, wondering,

Would you grow short or tall?

 

The date came; fearful, regret.

Screaming bible verses,

"You're killing your child!"

The weight from it all,

breaking my neck,

left 600 dollars in debt.

"...a child so meek and mild..."

 

Through the front doors,

the people were all pleasant.

The place itself, however,

like being locked away in "never."

Poor, sad, alone;

throw me out like a pheasant.

Hours pass by. "please let me out!

please pull the lever!"

 

Five hours later, it felt like days to me.

Having rid myself of a joy unknown,

Locked up, never to be set free.

Your angelic life, I'll never see.

 

I lost myself, a part of me,

A part of our love.

I threw out the person that I'll never be.

Soar away dove.

Now, too late, the "right decision,"

I'll never see.

 

I know for this,

I'll always regret.

No forgiveness

as the weeks pass me by.

Everyday still,

what’s keeping me alive?

Though, for you my lost child,

my soul, I'll never forget.