The Fight Within

Will it get easier

I say at night

as I rest my head on the pillow

for this struggle

a circle

repeating around

drowns me in fear.

 

But some days are great

because I lost weight

but I debate

the problems to come.

 

Numb to my actions

but awake to reality

counting all my calories

I strive for perfection

to touch the moon

but why must I be thin?

 

Can I walk down the halls

with my athletic build

smile at compliments

and take them in

no

You look great

equals I lost weight

but you don't even know

how I got here

all you see

is the shallow definition of beauty.

 

Let's be honest

40 pounds heavier

and I would go ignored

you would all be bored

and disgusted with how I look.

 

Beauty on the inside

is true from some

but dumb jocks

dont' believe that

they want no fat

on my back

or around my waist

only a pretty face

why is our society so wrong?

 

I try to be strong

it's been working well

but some days

I curl up in my shell

afraid to look at who I am

yet no one wants to listen

but that's okay

God shall show me the way

I still see the beauty everyday

fighting to be brave

because the day will come

when I find love in myself

won't need no help

to see my image correctly.