missin jm

missin jm

A Poem by jawshgurl
"

i wrote this for my ex

"

when we were together it was like
i knew you. now its like if i saw you
walking down the street i wouldn't
know what to say because you
seem so different now. i know you
haven't changed any but on the
inside it's like i know nothing about
you anymore and i don't like that
because we agreed to be friends.
it's sorta like when we broke up
i didn't know how i felt anymore
about you or about the world.
i miss your hugs and i miss your
kisses, but, most of all i miss being
your girlfriend. i'll never feel the
feeling i had when i was yours.

© 2008 jawshgurl


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

I'm not sure what to say about that. It's expressive but honestly, It's not very good. Try lines that actually have a sentence or part of one each, and capitalize occasionally, like this:

When we were together
It was like I knew you.
Now its like if I saw you
Walking down the street
I wouldn't know what to say because you
seem so different now.
I know you haven't changed any
But on the inside it's like i know nothing
About you anymore
And I don't like that
Because we agreed to be friends.

Even that wouldn't fix it. If you made shorter sentences rather then the run-on ones here, it'd be good, like this:

When we were together
It was like I knew you.
Now its like if I saw you
Walking down the street
I wouldn't know what to say.
You seem so different now.
I know you haven't changed any .
But on the inside it's like I know nothing
About you anymore.
That's not right.
We agreed to be friends.
It's not right.

Posted 16 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

110 Views
1 Review
Rating
Added on August 9, 2008

Author

jawshgurl
jawshgurl

Annapolis Royal, Canada



About
just a gurl trying to survive day to day life and everyday heart breaks more..

Writing
[untitled] [untitled]

A Poem by jawshgurl


why why

A Poem by jawshgurl