Requiem for a Vampire

A bit of fantasy for a change....

 

Young and taught your skin your throat

Eyelids flutter, breath afloat

 

Throbbing pulse within your flesh

 Veins below translucent mesh

 

Cartilage rise and falls adjusts

Making room for me, for us

 

Closer now my lips apart

Hunger stirs my soulless heart

 

Red cells, plasma, glucose, blood

Open mouth, await the flood

 

A lover’s kiss, a feeder’s bite

I Welcome the eternal night

 

Taste of you so sweet and warm

Beneath the sheet your quaking form

 

I drink from you my Queen of Queens

The curse of me transforms your genes

 

Rising from your restless sleep

Such sadness in your eyes, you weep

 

The gift I gave is something worse

This gift is pure eternal curse.

Reviews

[Brette Medb]

I really liked this and the flow had a lilting quality which was perfect for the story you wove. There were only two instances where I felt the flow was off

A lover's kiss, a feeder's bite
Welcome the eternal night

the second line even though it's almost equal in length to the first one the syllables are less so it doesn't flow was well, you could put it as welcomes you to the... that would make it even or you could switch the words a bit. But other than that this was really well done. Nice write.


Brette

[Hoshi Nami]

i think it flows perfectly fine- but then maybe you changed it already!