Life Is Pain

Life is a form of turture Yes it is

no one can express how it feels

but every day here brings more proof

aint nothin left here but bag of broken bones

Not a heart or a brain they even took my soul

its a wonder ive lasted as long as i have

but for one last truth i spend my breath to tell you

LIFE IS PAIN

Anyone who says diffrently is selling something

 

Reviews

[Worms]

I would say inconcievable but I don't think that word means what I think it does

in all seriousness though very nice

[justjenn_2u]

Life is pain, life can be euphoric, like can be so many things. Most importantly, life feels like pain to you and you are able to get your point across very well.

A short poem with a strong message.

I did enjoy this rant!

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

The last line doesn't seem to fit in at all with the rest of your poem. It seems to be very serious and deep and then the last line just throws that off completly as if it were just a joke. You could have said something like if someone tells you differently then maybe they haven't really lived life at all. That would have been a dramatic ending of the sort. Another this is that at the beginning of each new sentence you are inconstant. If you are going to capitalize the first word in one line, then you need ot capitalize the first word in every line. It's vise versa as well. If you are going to have it in lower case, then they all need to be in lowercase.
I really like the idea that you have because life is full of pain. Pain isn't the only thing that is present in life but it is the one thing that most people seem to linger and focus on. Things such as happiness are over-looked because people are scared of the pain and don't seem to realize that life will always bring pain, but in order to survive you have to allow that pain to pass so that you can live life to it's fullest the next day. Yes, it rarely happens that quickly, and some things are not that easy to overcome, but in life there are two things that will always come in equal amounts and that is happiness and pain.

"Life is a form of turture Yes it is" --- torture. You need either a comma or a period after torture. If you are going to use a comma then you need to use a lower case y for yes.

"but bag of broken bones" --- a bag of broken bones.

"or a brain they even " --- You need a comma or a period after brain. A comma would fit better.

"its a wonder ive lasted as long as i have" --- it's. I've. Capitalize I.

"truth i spend my breath" --- Comma after truth and capitalize I.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

You convey your feelings well in this poem .. life is pain , and it is .
I feel sadness reading this .. maybe hopelessness too ..

aint nothin left here but bag of broken bones

Not a heart or a brain they even took my soul

Like the slang ,, fits this poem..

Chloe
xoxo

[Str8jacket]

It's true life is pain, but it there's one thing I live by it's that the pain you survive can only make you stronger. This was short and sweet, again with a message. Good work, keep going.

[Jennifer Pennington]

Wow...short, sweet, and definately to the point hun! This expresses a great deal in just the one stanza. Very nice job.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I tend to agree, as it so hard to find the beauty of life when it hurts so much. Good write. Debileah