The Closer I Get

The closer I get to death

the more beauty I 

see in the world,

in women especially...

I will trace your curves

in my mind,

become maddened

by the way your foot arches

or how your leg flexes

when you stand on your toes

to reach into a cupboard....

The closer I get to death

the more I am convinced

women are the Gods

of earth and all creation....

Reviews

[Afraa]

The first three lines of this poem reminded me of my poem "Forgotten." This truly is a beautiful, mesmerizing poem. You have a way with words, Jason.

I am a person of detail and appreciate your extent of description on this piece. I am glad I read this.

Thank you for sharing!

[Lyn Anderson]

oh, this one would get you somewhere with a lot of women, I am sure. Very nice.

[inconsistentsea]

Beauty in something so simple is perhaps divine. Noticing it, even more so.

[CD Campbell]

I think this is a wonderful write, though I have to disagree on the last stanza. It's funny how the female gender can lift us up one minute and crush us underfoot the next. Their beautiful chaotic nature is hardly godly. CD

[JayceeC]

My favorite thing about this little gem is the bit of added sensuality found somewhat hidden in it. There is nothing more sexy than detailed attention to inconsequential body parts because it shows a reverence for the person. Your use of "cupboard" takes this from general to make it a bit more person-centered; we're not just looking at all women, but this one in front of you. And we feel the fascination in the mundane.
As to women being Gods...well I'd rather just be a bit of a nymph--its much more fun!
I am glad your friend request came through on this particular rainy day when I am board. I often do not friend unless the person has commented somewhere on my pages, but I will enjoy stopping by to read your work.
~Jaycee

[JC]

Hi JayceeC, man, thanks for all that, you totally get the reverence thing, I friended you then had to jet as I usually read something first and comment, which I will be doing a little later today when things slow down, but...man, thank you for digging my poem and saying such amazing things and most of all for just relating.

[JayceeC]

You will find a little bit of everything in my pages..there is a lot of sensuality running through it if you find the right ones...like I said..we have some similar writing themes and styles.

[Charlotte e.e. Griffith..]

Such wonderful attention to detail in your poetry. Your description of the body was so rich and tender with desire and passion. So lovely!

[JC]

you're very kind Charlotte, I'm glad you liked it, and I hope to see more of your work soon, I was enjoying it so much I went through them all in a frenzy.

[Kat]

This was a wonderful piece to read. Great job!

[jfdkslafnas]

The way you mixed something as depressing as death and something as beautiful as humanity was great to say the least. You connected the creation of humans, humans themselves, and the death of humans in one poem. That takes talent, especially when connected in such way that makes it seem like one. It flowed very smoothly.

[Cynthia Sharp]

My few words cannot do justice to the grace and depth your poetry conveys. Thank you for the gift of your soul and voice.

[h d e rushin]

they are indeed the gods (goddesses) of earth and earth is all there is. Although cycloid
of alternating moods, the secret is in their being; there is no outer space, no time,
no moon or mars..just us, here, now and forever. No need pretending that going to
heaven will solve their mystery. great introspection MC////dana