I Will Be More 2

 

 I will be more then he was.

 

 The end will be my Glory.

  

The sins of my father will be lifted.

  

I will win the fight before me and leave my opponent begging for mercy.

  

The end will be mine doing.

Author's Note

R.I.P DAD

Reviews

[Jaclyn]

At first I thought this poem was going to be about God as a father figure or something, and I almost didn't read more...I typically stay away from religious pieces. However, I stayed, read the whole thing, and I liked it. I didn't love it, but it wasn't bad either. I think that it should have been longer, really gone into detail about how you are feeling and more about your fight, the sins of your father, etc. It would have made this poem better.

Also, the color of the words and size of the font were very distracting. I would have kept this smaller but spaced it out...and I would not have used a happy color like orange. In fact, I don't think color honestly had a place in this poem. This is an ANGRY but HOPEFUL piece. I think it would have done better just in regular, good old-fashioned black.

Still, I think this poem shows promise. I hope you don't think I'm saying you suck or anything because I don't feel that way at all. I always explain this, and I'll explain it to you, is that I am by NO MEANS a poet...half the time, I don't even get what poems are talking about, and I have no idea what constitutes a good poem. Feel free to scrap my review as useless...I'm more of a short story/novel person, so I can't exactly be the most helpful critic to a poet. Keep that in mind and take any of my poetry reviews with a grain of salt. Seriously. :)

[Chillbear Latrigue]

This is what poetry should be. Raw and powerful. Good luck with your quest.

[Ladysue]

A very touching tribute you have written here. Powerful message. I like it.

[Ralphy]

This is a touching tribute to your Dad...impressive write and form. Makes one think

[Nely Amorim]

I can certainly relate to wanting to be different, better than my dad.. a very powerful, simple message. excellent write.

[Spoken]

a great "I will not go silent into that good night" statement.. very empowering.

I will be more then he was

that sentence alone rings strongly in my memory.. i can relate.

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

This is a powerful statement as to how much you have been through. "The end will be mine doing." I don't agree with the last line as that is in God's Hands
Blessings
Debby