The Kingdom

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am down on my knees in the darkness.

  

The kingdom is collapsing beneath my feet.

  

The queen is gone.

  

I close my eyes tight.

  

I say my prayers.

  

He came for my crown.

  

He does not know the darkness is inside me!

Reviews

[Carl]

This reads more like a "Prolouge" than a poem. IT is like the ending of one story and the begining of another. I lay down on my knees in the darkness. it seems to me that you are the rightful hier to the throne. Maybe you are the prince or maybe one of two princes who have grown up but grown apart. The lines "He came for my crown" The last to lines tells the reader that a deal may have been struck with a wizard - witch or maybe the devil himself. Have you trded you soul for the kingdom. "He does not know the darkness is inside of me." Things are different this time around. These are just thoughts and ideas. Think possibly of expanding this idea. There are lots of questions in this peice. and where there are questions there are possibilities. thank you for sharing .

[Christine]

I agree with Albert, this too me is the beginning of an epic story or poem. It makes me wonder how he got here, to this place and what will happen when the darkness over takes him. I'm hooked. I'd love to read more. Great poem. :-)

[Albert Freeman]

This can be the beginning of an epic story or poem. Leaves one wondering how things led up to what is happening now. Looking forward to more on this and more in the telling.

[Spoken]

very haunting.. this to me is someone who has or is losing everything (kingdom, crown, queen) so they allow the darkness to fill them... nicely done

He does not know the darkness is inside my! (me?)