Pink Bandeaus, Hotpants and Heels

The 10 steps to get from school to Chelsea’s party

1.       Walk to Allison’s (She lives one of the roads near the school)

2.       Say hello to her parents and run upstairs

3.       Watch the TV in her room while Becki straightens Allison’s hair

4.       Compare outfit choices and choose what we’re going to wear

5.       Order pizza

6.       Get dressed

7.       Eat (Carefully)

8.       Apply makeup & finish hair

9.       Take pictures in front of her mirror

And the last thing that we need to do:

10.   Leave for the party in her mum’s car, ensuring what we are at least 20 minutes late

Allison’s house is actually huge - 4 floors, 6 bathrooms and 8 bedrooms. 

Her room is massive - it has an ensuite bathroom and a walk in wardrobe, as well as a king-sized bed and a single bed for her cat.  However, despite the enormity, we are all crowded in front of her full length mirror, trying to view our outfits from all angles.  It took a while before we were all happy with our outfits, but if I do say so myself, we did a pretty good job. 

Both Allison and Becki decided to go with the cat theme.  Allison’s borrowed Brooke’s dark denim high-waisted shorts and Becki’s ¾ length, flowy, leopard print sleeveless top, wore her canvas black trainers, used my headband with the leopard ears attached, and dressed as a leopard.  Becki’s dressed as a normal cat and wore a pair of black sequined shorts that she bought last week and had been “just dying to wear”, and a plain black vest top.  She borrowed Macy’s black cat ears and got me to draw eyeliner whiskers on her cheeks.

Brooke’s stayed with her Minnie Mouse idea and paired Becki’s short black spotty skirt with her red halter neck, Macy’s red wedges, she’s left her hair out in its sleek black bob and borrowed her 6 year old cousin’s Minnie Mouse ears.

Instead of going for her angel theme, I’ve leant Brooke my black, one sleeved chiffon dress and she’s made the outfit complete with her black heels and the pair of black angel wings that she got from the party store, so she’s dressed as a dark angel. 

And then there’s me, wearing Becki’s black high-waisted shorts, the baseball cap that I brought with me, Brooke cut my large camouflage print T-shirt and turned it into a relatively fashionable ¾ length flowy cropped top, and I’m pairing it with Allison’s black biker boots.  Now, Becki’s drawing military lines on my face with some ugly green-black lipstick that she got free in a magazine.

“What time is it now?” Macy’s asked, as she’s curling the last of her straight hair.

“Ummmm......  9:15!” Becki’s replied, checking the time on her phone and now she’s shoving her phone back down her bra.

“Perfect!  We are officially fashionably late!”  

“Well then we better go!”

***

The party started at 9:00pm and now it’s 9:30 and we’ve just come in.  The party is in full swing and completely amazing - but a little over the top for my liking. 

Everything’s pink and the club walls are decorated with picture after picture of Chelsea.  There’s music pounding, lights flashing, people dancing, pale pink balloons all over the floor, (Apparently we’ve missed the balloon drop), pick and mix, rose balloon arches leading down the middle of the room and an area where you can go over and get a professional photographer to take your picture.  There are neon pink lights attached to every wall that flash on and off in large capital letters reading, “YOU HAVE NOW ENTERED CHELSEA LAND”.

This is just surreal.  I actually feel so small, and not because of my height.  It’s like some big, bright maze of girlyness.  I actually don’t know where to start. 

 “LET’S GO FIND KELLY AND MEGAN AND SEE WHAT THEIR OUTFITS ARE!” Brooke’s yelled over the music.

Gosh.  It’s like walking through a main road.  There are sweaty bodies everywhere, and we keep having to stop and budge our way past people.  We’ve made our way around this place at least twice now, and I have seen no trace of Megan and Kelly anywhere.

I think Allison just yelled something about finding out where they are, but I honestly don’t know  - I can’t hear anything over the music.  Okay, actually I don’t know what she said, because now she’s walked over to some boy, and started talking to him.  She’s on stereotypical flirt mode: twirling her hair, tilting her head to the side and letting out a coy giggle every couple of seconds.  OMG.  She’s taking out her phone and he’s taking out his.  Wow.  We’ve only been here about 5 minutes and she’s already got his phone number.  She works fast.  Okay she’s coming back.  I should actually listen to what she’s saying.

“Eep!  His name is Sam, he’s in year 9 at the boys school down the road, he likes my leopard ears and he gave me his number!  Oh and he said that the V.I.P’s should be coming out any minute now.”

Ok, the music’s stopped.  The DJ has just stopped playing music.  And now he’s getting his microphone ready, sounds like they’re finally coming in.

“Visitors of Chelsea land; we invite you all to applaud the best friends of the woman that made this all happen, Give a big welcome to Chelsea’s V.I.P’s!!”

Oh.  My.  Actual.  Gosh. 

What are they wearing?  Are they serious?  How can they think that they look good?  I mean, a cheesy pop song’s now playing, the backdoor’s been flung open, and the 5 of them are skipping down the aisle of balloon arches, all as orange as pumpkins, in light blue denim knickers shorts, bright pink sequined bandeaus and matching pink patent high heels.

Macy’s turned to Brooke and I with a shocked look on her face,

“Is it just me, or are Kelly’s butt cheeks totally hanging out of those shorts?”

I’m laughing.  Brooke’s just raising her eyebrows.  Now the song’s changed to an even cheesier pop song and the DJ’s speaking again.

“And now, I present the birthday girl herself, CHELSEA BILLAM!”

Wow.  And I thought that the party couldn’t get any girlier.  Chelsea is being pulled down the aisle by two muscular boys in light blue tuxedos inside a cardboard motorbike.  A pink cardboard motorbike.  And Chelsea’s standing up waving at people, wearing a pale pink strapless lacy corset tucked into a black tutu with bright pink bows on (it’s so puffy, I mean, it doesn’t even cover her thong) and bright patent high heeled boots that stretch over her knees.

Great.  Kelly’s running over, grinning from ear to ear,

“What do you think?  Guess what I am!”

This is really awkward.  I mean, I could easily tell her what I think she is, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t like the answer.  She’s waiting for an answer, it’s funny, she’s looking expectantly at everyone, and up close, she looks incredibly fake.  To start with, she’s got pumpkin orange fake tan on, is wearing an excessive amount of foundation, has luminous pink glittery eye shadow on (Which, may I add, is applied extremely poorly �" I mean it reaches her eyebrows, and not in a nice way), pink blush smeared all over her cheeks, she’s coated her lips in red lipstick and her hair looks longer, puffier and like straw towards the end.  Hair extensions.

I think she’s given up with us guessing, everyone’s just staring at her in shock.  She’s rolled her eyes and is carrying on anyway.

“I’m a Barbie doll!  You get it?  Basically, we’re all Barbie dolls and Chelsea is the lead Barbie!”

“No offence, but since when did Barbie Dolls wear sparkly pink bandeaus and denim hot pants?” Becki’s asked, still taking in Kelly’s lack of clothing outfit.

“Since Barbie became a teenager!” Kelly’s giggled, giving another little twirl.

I’m finding this incredibly hard to understand.  I mean, yes, fair enough, she’s being forced to wear this by Chelsea but really?  How can she think that this is a good idea?  I mean, I feel uncomfortable enough in Allison’s shorts, and my butt cheeks can’t be seen by the public.

I’m so thirsty and the bar is selling one drink �" a plastic cup of luminous pink lemonade.  Like seriously, it’s just fizzy lemonade with some form of highlighter pink food colouring.  I have to say though �" these bar stools are really comfy �" surprise, surprise, they’re pink.  It is £2.50 for a glass of pink bubbly stuff, it’s ridiculous. 

I may have to buy some though.  I don’t know what it is but my mouth is so dry.  Good, the bar tender’s coming over, time to order.

“Umm... Yeah I’d like a cup of...”

“Nothing.  She doesn’t want anything!” Allison’s butted in. 

“Why don’t I want anything?”

“None of you want anything, because I have your first challenge!  You have 10 minutes to get a guy to buy you a drink”

I don’t think I can do that.  That’s really awkward.  And desperate.  And weird.  Macy and Brooke seem to be thinking the same thing, because they’re giving Allison the exact same look that I’m giving to her.

“Guys.  A challenge is a challenge!  Now you have 9 minutes and 43 seconds left, you should all get going!”

And we’re off.  Kind of, I mean Becki pulled us all into the middle of the floor against our will.   “Look for the shy, awkward ones!”  She’s yelling over the music, “That’s probably our best chance at getting a free drink,”

It doesn’t surprise me that Becki has tips on how to get guys to buy us drinks - she’s kinda boy obsessed.  If she wasn’t so nice and sweet, everybody at school would so call her a slag behind her back, but because she’s one of the friendliest people you will ever meet, everybody just ignores all the slag-like things that come out of her mouth.

“I think I’ve found one!” Brooke’s shrieked, and she’s pointing to a boy who’s standing by himself, staring at his feet, “What do I do now?”

“Talk, flirt, laugh at his jokes,” Becki’s listing, ticking the points off on her fingers, “Then ask him if he wants to go over to the bar and hint that you want a drink!”

“Okay, I’m going in,”

It’s funny watching Brooke talking to this guy, I mean he’s easily shorter than me �" and that’s saying something.  He looks about 4’9 and Brooke is easily 5’6/5’7, plus, she’s in wedges so she’s easily a foot taller than him �" she’s literally towering over this guy and he looks really intimidated.  Oh my gosh, they look so awkward together.  They’re standing there looking lost for conversation, it’s kind of odd.

Becki’s obviously bored of watching them.  She’s already searching the room for new prospects.  I fact �" she’s pointing to a tall, slightly lanky blonde guy standing alone by the DJ.

“Macy, you’re tall - that guy is perfect!”

And now Becki’s pushing a slightly confused Macy in his direction, wishing her good luck before she can even respond.

Now she’s turned towards me, “Okay, we have 7 minutes left and I have the perfect guy for you!”

She’s linked my arm, and she’s leading me through the floor, while explaining what she’s doing awfully quickly.

“His name is Danny; he’s in year nine like us, he’s really cute, I think he’s older than you, he liked me for a while, but we got over it and now we’re really good friends!  He’s really sweet but I couldn’t go out with him because he’s shorter than me and I don’t date shorter guys, but you’re pretty short too, so you guys will be perfect!” She smiled as she continued walking.

“I’m not that short!  I’m 5’2!” Ok, I admit, 5’2 is pretty short... But I plan to grow at some point.

“And Danny’s like...  I dunno...  5’3?  Ah, here he is.  Danny, this is my friend Melanie, Melanie, this is Danny.  OMG!!!  You guys look really cute together!”

And now she’s gone.  She’s left me alone with him.  She’s right though, Danny is pretty cute.  He’s got short, dark hair, brown eyes, the same kinda skin colour as me and OMG his smile is amazing.  Plus his outfit’s pretty cool, he didn’t try too hard and it looks good.  He’s in jeans, a navy striped shirt and he’s got a gold plastic crown on his head. 

“Hi, so yeah I’m Danny”

He’s smiling at me.  That smile is so perfect OMG.  I can’t bring myself to talk.  What is this?  Why am I so awkward around guys?  I need to do something.  He must think I’m like... I dunno... stupid or something.  Ok, I giggled.  What is it with me and giggling?  I do nervous giggles after everything, urgh I’m so weird.  He’s staring at me expectantly.  I need to say something.  OMG. 

“Nice costume! I like the top, it is really cool.”

See, now he’s complimented my outfit and I have said absolutely nothing.  I feel really bad, he’s making an effort to make conversation and I’m being really awkward.  I’m such an awkward person.  I really need to work on my personality.  I need to say something.  I’ll just say thank you!!

“Thank you!!”

That came out in an abnormally high voice - but at least it came out.  That was actually easier than I thought it would be.  Ok, now I can lower my voice and speak some more.

“You look really cool!  I like the whole royal theme, it’s really cool!  And I like your crown, it’s really...”

“Cool?”

He’s got an adorably cheeky smile on his face.  Why did I babble like that?  Why do I feel the need to be so weird around people?  I swear, I am in major need of fixing.  Just keep cool.  He’s joking around.  All I need to do is smile and lie.  Smile and lie.

“Actually, I was going to say nice!  You’re crown is really nice!”

It worked!  He’s laughing!  Yay!  It actually worked.  I made casual conversation with a cute guy.  Wow.  I really need to get out more.  Oh well, I still find it an achievement!

“Of course you were!  So, are you thirsty or hungry or anything?  ‘Cause I might get some of that un-natural looking lemonade.  You want some?”

OMG.  OMG.  Wow.  Wow.  Fhdjksjfhds.  He just asked to buy me a drink.  And I didn’t hint or anything.  Hjdfksdjfhs.  I.  Actually.  Can’t.  Believe.  That.  He.  Just.  Wow.  OMG.  Yes.  Ahjsdkajhds.  What do I do now? 

Oh yeah.  Answering him would be a good place to start. 

“Actually, yeah... Um, I’m kinda thirsty, I might get some lemonade too.”

I think I’m getting better at this.  I actually answered that in a calm, cool and collected manner...  Ish.  Anyways, we are actually walking over to the bar together.  Right now, I actually love Becki.  This is just perfect.  And I still have 2 minutes left of this 10 minute challenge thing.

Ok, he’s gone to go and get me a drink while I sit at the bar.  Looks like I’m not the only one doing well with this challenge; Sam’s talking to Allison again, Brooke’s at the bar with this new boy (tall with bright red spiky hair), however she hasn’t got a drink yet, Macy’s sitting awkwardly drinking lemonade next to the tall blonde from earlier and Becki’s sitting with her drink in one hand, making out with one of the boys in the pale blue tuxedos that had pulled Chelsea’s motorbike in. 

Eep!  Danny’s coming back, and he’s carrying two plastic cups filled with the bubble gum pink fizzy liquid.  I should say something to him,

“Do you need me to pay you back for that drink?”

Please say no.  Please say no.  Please say no.  Please say

“No, of course not”

OMG.  He is actually perfect.

“So Melanie, Can I maybe have your number?”

Yes.  Yes.  Of course he can.  I can’t believe he just asked that.  WOW.  Now I feel special.  Really special.  OMG, I must be grinning like an idiot.  I feel like I’m grinning like an idiot.  Urgh �" I keep doing this.  I need to answer him when he asks me stuff!  He looks so confused.

“Um, yeah sure, why don’t I put in your phone?” 

He’s handed me his phone.  This is actually happening.  A guy just bought me a drink and asked for my number.  Yes, it may seem like nothing to most people, but I’m shy, awkward, short and I don’t exactly have the best figure... so this is a big step for me.  And it’s all happening n...

“Hi Danny!  Haven’t seen you in a while!” Urgh.  Did Allison really have to come and interrupt now?   She’s looking at the 2 of us and tilting her head to one side, “Aww!  You two look really cute together!  Anyways, Danny I need to borrow Melanie for a while, your friend Lewis is over their sucking Becki’s face, why don’t the two of you go and hang out?” 

And now I’m being pulled away.  No.  No no no no no.  NO.  Why now?  Seriously?  Now I’m back to sitting where we were siting before we left for the challenging.

“Alright everybody, status report!  Becki, we all saw you with your tongue shoved down Lewis Milann’s throat so we don’t need to know the details, let’s move on to Macy, how did it go for you?”

Macy’s sighing, looking kind of bored more than anything else, “He bought me a drink, but he was the most boring, awkward, annoying boy I have ever met!  He didn’t want to talk, he just wanted to savour the moment and sit next to each other in silence!  And when I asked him about himself he told me that he doesn’t like to exchange information until he knows someone properly!  Thanks for pushing me towards him Becki!”

Becki still looks proud of herself though, “Sorry Macy, but I am a good matchmaker!  Take Melanie for example!” And now the focus is on me again. “You and Danny looked like you were having fun!  What happened there?”

Ok, I’m not gonna lie, I actually like being the centre of attention.  I mean, it doesn’t happen very often.  I tend to be a wall flower most of the time, so the occasional focus on me is good.  Everyone’s looking at me expecting a good story though, and mine really isn’t very interesting.

“Um, he said he liked my outfit, but that’s really all that happened.  He did buy me a drink though!”

Which I didn’t drink.  My untouched glass of lemonade is still sitting on the bar.

“You guys look so cute together!  What about you Brooke?”

Brooke’s sighed, “I didn’t get a drink.  I got nowhere with Matt the short one, but Toby, the red spiky haired one asked if I wanted to go to the cinema with him next Saturday!”

Allison’s nodding her head in approval and turning back to Becki, “Okay everybody did well!  Becki, time for your challenge.  What is it?”

I can tell I’m not gonna like this.  Becki’s got a really malicious smile on her face. 

“Girls, it’s time to kiss and tell! Allison - you’ve got to kiss Sam, Brooke - you’ve got to kiss Toby, Melanie - you’ve got to kiss Danny and Macy - I’m gonna set you up with my friend Keith and you have to kiss him!”

No.  I can’t do that.  I’ve never kissed a guy and I’ve just met Danny, getting him to kiss me would make me desperate.  And a slag.  I actually can’t.  And Becki’s looking directly at me with a smirk on her face,

“Problem?”

“I’ve just met Danny...”

“Don’t worry!  I realised that!  I have a plan!” Becki’s answered.

What is she doing?  She’s gulping down the last of her drink like her life depends on it.  Seriously �" she’s draining every last drop from that little plastic cup, and now she’s standing on a bar stool and clearing her throat. 

“ATTENTION!  I DON’T HAVE A BOTTLE, SO WHO WANTS TO PLAY SPIN THE CUP?”

Oh dear. 

This should be interesting.