Luminous Spotty Knickers

10 confessions;

1.       I am overly competitive

2.       I over think everything

3.       I tend to be a people pleaser, so if someone doesn’t like me I try to make them (unless the person is Kelly)

4.       Despite being ultra organised at school, I’m like a total slob at home

5.       People say that I’m smart, but what nobody realises is that I struggle to keep up in like every lesson

6.       There are so many mistakes that I’ve made that I can’t help but regret

7.       I actually want to do well in school (I am actually such a geek, I just keep it a secret)

8.       I have a tendency to make lists for everything (Hence the list here)

9.       There is only one person on this earth that can make me realise how small and fixable my problems are.

And my top confession:

10.   That person is my mum.

You read stories and watch movies of teenage girls who start the story with a big problem, you know, are teased by the popular kids, hardly anybody knows their name, etc. etc. but eventually get the most perfect boy in their school to be their boyfriend with the help of their best friend. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love watching movies like that and reading books with that storyline, but I always end up feeling slightly depressed knowing the odds of my life ending up like that are zero. 

That is why this is not one of those stories. 

That and one other reason;

I have never had a best friend.

Don’t start feeling sorry for me or thinking I’m one of those “friendless freaks” because I’m not.  From about the age of 5, I’ve always been in groups of friends, you know, there would be like 3 or 5 of us, and we would all be very close, but everybody would have their one best friend and it would never be me.  I would always be the odd one out.  There have been times of course, when I’ve gotten close to people and it’s been the 2 of us against the world, but somehow, that’s never worked.

Well I’m getting a bit sick of these teenage stories with the happy endings and I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one who feels this way, so I thought I’d make whoever is reading this feel better about their own lives because mine never goes perfectly.

I’m not gonna bore you all of the details of how life went through the whole of junior school, because to be honest, I did a load of stupid things then that I look back at now and say “What was I thinking??” so I will move on to the present day; 

I go to Lambston Secondary School; an independent school, only girls. In fact, I’ve been going to an independent girl’s school since I was four.  Don’t label me as one of those snooty rich kids who lives in a mansion, owns 3 ponies and drinks from solid gold goblets or whatever, my parents work super hard to keep me in private school, I live in a semi-detached house and the closest thing I have to 3 ponies is a cat which we got for like the cheapest price ever because a friend’s cat gave birth.

I’ve never had a boyfriend (But then again, unlike most people, I don’t believe that you can have a “serious relationship” when you’re 13 going on 14 and to be fair, I’ve never been to a mixed school so I only know around 6 boys who aren’t related to me).  Though I don’t like to admit it, I can be a big gossip and I am a huge control freak which makes me really respect my friends for putting up with me. 

This brings me on to friends.  I have basically had the same friends since I started secondary school with the odd one or two coming and going in the first couple of years of school, (you know how big a deal arguments are when you’re 11/12).  At the moment we are a group of 4, there’s;

Macy - The down to Earth, super smart, constantly caring, gorgeous brunette with the cute past-the-shoulder layered look and olive, Italian skin.  She works extremely hard to keep up her grade “A” average.  She’s the all rounder - as good at sports as she is academically (Though I reckon that she is slightly better academically).

Brooke - The slightly crazy, fun to be around, naturally smart without even having to try fare-skinned artist, with the dark, glossy straight hair in a cute shoulder length cut.  She has the oddest fashion sense but it works for her.  She also has an “A” average.

Kelly - The sporty, curvy, cute, girly blonde, with the naturally wavy hair and addiction to foundation and fake tan. 

And then there’s me, Melanie Dansworth, the cocoa skinned anti-sport, control freak with the frizzy midlength black hair, the addiction to straighteners and the fringe that attempts to hide the fact that my forehead is roughly the size of Europe.

You’d think with an even number, we’d each have one best friend, but no.  You see, as much as I love them, Macy and Brooke have been best friends since...  I don’t know, like birth or something, and they went to a different junior school to me, and though they say we’re all best friends, it’s obvious that it’s always gonna be the 2 of them, I mean, Kelly’s tried to weasel her way in a few times, you know, by trying to tear the 2 of them apart and trying to make Brooke her best friend, but no matter how hard it gets for them, eventually they come to their senses and are as strong as ever.

And Kelly?  Well, she’s a lot like me, in terms of never having a proper best friend, and we tried the best friend thing, back in the first year of secondary school when we were both 11, but she stays with someone for a while, gets bored and moves on, and ever since I confronted her about it in the end of that first year she’s disliked me.  To be honest, I have watched her break tons of friendships apart in the last couple of years and personally just find her really desperate now, the only reason I’m friends with her now is because she’s friends with Macy and Brooke and I love hanging out with them.

I should really listen to what’s going on.  It’s the first day of year nine and I’m sitting outside eating lunch and ignoring what Kelly is saying.  It’s a typical British September; the sun is trying as hard as it can to peer through the clouds yet not succeeding, harsh winds are wrapping around the trees, blowing the litter off of the streets near our school, and yet everybody (Including me) has traded the winter tights for the summer socks.

It’s the first day back at school from the summer holidays, so we’re sitting shivering outside eating in our usual spot (The corner in the field hidden away from everyone where the bushes and the long jump pit meet) watching the new Year 7’s show up with the longest skirts ever (The school says that skirts should be halfway between the knee and the ankle, but everybody but the year sevens wear them like an inch or so above the knee). 

Kelly’s got too much fake tan on - and she’s wearing an excessive amount of foundation too.  Again, as usual she is bragging about all the fun holiday time she spent with Macy and Brooke that she didn’t bother inviting me to;

“Oh my god!  Yeah so wasn’t it so funny when my mum pulled that face and bla de bla de bla and I was so embarrassed and then bla de bla de bla and then you guys laughed and then bla de bla de bla and then we saw that movie and then bla de bla de...” Well, you get the jist. 

She’s going on and on and on about everything that she invited them to and I’m sitting there in silence because, well, I have that slight pang of jealousy and, you know, what else was I supposed to do?  Macy is looking up at me from her yoghurt with a confused look on her face;

“Hey Melanie, you okay?  You haven’t said much.”

No I’m not okay.  Why would I be okay? My 3 “Best friends” have sat there and talked for 30 minutes straight about everything that Kelly didn’t invite me too and I have had to sit there like a lemon because I really don’t know what to say.

“I’m fine!  Don’t worry!” I’m smiling my most convincing smile but both Brooke and Macy are shooting me a sceptical look. 

One of the things I love about them is that after I say that I’m fine they know that it’s code for them to leave the subject alone, and yet they both knew that I wasn’t fine.  Kelly on the other hand, has taken my advice and is not worrying, so the focus is back on her again. 

I honestly think that every time Kelly opens her mouth I hate her a little bit more.  She thinks so much of herself that it’s unreal.  I mean, it took about 5 minutes before Macy and Brooke zoned out too.  Macy reached inside her lunch-bag for her phone and now she’s texting, Brooke’s keeping herself entertained with the piece of cellophane that her sandwich had been wrapped in and I’m eating my sandwich and laughing internally.  It’s actually hilarious that she hasn’t noticed that nobody is listening to her.  I kinda feel sorry for her.  Maybe I should listen,

“I can’t believe we have netball right after lunch!  It’s so much effort!  I get so tired of Miss Swanrine telling me that I should be on the school netball team!  I mean after a while you wish that you know, you weren’t as good at sports as you are!  Melanie, Brooke, you don’t know how lucky you are that you don’t have her constantly asking you to play for the team!  I mean even you don’t understand Mace!  You’re on the team by choice!  Speaking of netball we need partners so Brooke, I’m yours.”

“What?” See now Brooke’s glanced up from her piece of cellophane, “Um, sorry what did you ask?”

Kelly’s doing her classic eye roll and letting out an exasperated sigh, “Netball.  Partner.  You are mine.”

Whoa - for a moment, Brooke looked slightly uncomfortable there, I’m not sure if she wants to be Kelly’s partner after all. That would be a first.

“Oh, right, sorry I’m Macy’s.” Brooke mumbled quickly, and now she’s gone back to what she was doing without another word.

And so the awkward silence has begun.  You see, Kelly always gets her way - she is never turned down for anything.  Plus, no one would ever say anything but we all know that Kelly would never ask me to be her partner because she doesn’t like me, or think of me as a friend. She went quiet for a moment then pursed her lips and shrugged,

“That’s fine; I’ll go ask Megan or someone.  See you later!” And now, she has got up, strutted over to the bin, emptied the whole, un-eaten contents of her lunch bag away and made her way to the closest door into the school.

“God Kel!  Un-roll your skirt at least once!” Macy has joked after her,

So obviously, Kelly had to turn around and be all like “My skirt’s fine!”

Which it really isn’t, it just about covers her butt and her pants are totally on show, she’s so in denial about it, I have to say something;

“Kelly, I can see your luminous spotty knickers.”

Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have been that upfront about it.  Although, Brooke and Macy have both erupted into a fit of giggles.  They totally agree - Kelly’s knickers actually are showing.  Kelly doesn’t look too pleased though; she’s just rolled her eyes and tried to divert the embarrassment away from her.

“God Melanie!  Why are you looking, you perv?!” she screamed across the field, before actually unrolling her skirt once around the waist.

Typical Kelly, she’ll listen to me, but she’ll act like she’s come to the decision on her own.  Now that she’s gone, the conversation can hopefully become interesting.

“You don’t really have to try to look; they’re just there when she gets up!” Brooke’s agreeing, “By the way, what were you doing in the summer, Melanie?  I barely got to see you!”

And now I wish that I had something interesting to say, but the truth is, I spent the majority of my summer babysitting my little brother, Max.  So I’ll tell them about the few interesting things I did do and just ask them how their holidays were, (Macy goes to Italy every year and Brooke’s parents surprised her with a 3 week trip to New York).

You know what?  I actually love these 2.  I’ve known them for 2 years now and I already feel like I’ve known them forever.  Who knows?  Year nine might not be as bad as I thought.