In the Void

In the Void

A Poem by StruckByLightning
"

A poem about the crushing sense of being stuck.

"
The darkness
presses down
pushes down
pulls down.
There's no escape,
no light,
no end.
A black hole,
a chasm,
infinite.
Forever.
The void
is suffocating,
drowns me beneath
its high black waves.
I know the void,
I wish for release.
But I have a
different name 
for it.
I call it
Home.

© 2012 StruckByLightning


Author's Note

StruckByLightning
No, I'm not depressed or anything, but I was wondering how hopeless I'd be if I was stuck in a deep hole.

My Review

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Featured Review

Interesting idea you got going here.

I really liked the ending with "Home."

One small suggestion (please ignore it if you don't like it)

The first lines do a great job at explaining the "void" . However, your emotion to it is limited only at the part with "suffocating". I would like to see how this turns out if you could somehow expand there. More on how you feel rather than just see.

Regardless, enjoyed it. Possibly relates to many out there.

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

death?

Posted 12 Years Ago


Amazing play with words! The sheer imagery of a man/woman stuck in a void is deep and oftentimes frightening -- but can also be comforting, given time!

A delish read, from a talented writer!!

Keep up the good work! :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Interesting idea you got going here.

I really liked the ending with "Home."

One small suggestion (please ignore it if you don't like it)

The first lines do a great job at explaining the "void" . However, your emotion to it is limited only at the part with "suffocating". I would like to see how this turns out if you could somehow expand there. More on how you feel rather than just see.

Regardless, enjoyed it. Possibly relates to many out there.

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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144 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 7, 2012
Last Updated on April 8, 2012
Tags: Void, dark, sad

Author

StruckByLightning
StruckByLightning

MI



About
Hmmm... how should I get started? Well, my display name, StruckByLightning, is a metaphor of being struck by inspiration, because inspiration can electrify a person's mind the same way lightning can. .. more..

Writing