The Wisest Man

The Wisest Man

Once upon a time there was a wise man. The wisest man, in fact, in the whole world. Older than the mountain he lived on, The Wisest Man was known to answer every question he was asked for no price at all. The children, the peasants, the lords and even the king knew that if they crossed the river, scaled the mountain, and climbed The Wisest Man’s long, long beard, their question would be answered. One day, as he was prone to do, the king decided to ask a question. Crossing the river, scaling the mountain, and climbing The Wisest Man’s long, long beard, the king came face to face with The Wisest Man and said: “Wise man, Wisest Man, I have a question to ask!” to which The Wisest Man replied, “Ask, and I will answer.” “Oh Wisest Man, what news is there of my kingdom?” The Wisest Man smiled and said, “My dear king, I have terrible news. Trolls are coming to the river. Soon it will be too dangerous to cross.” Horrified, the king bowed and said, “Thank you, Wisest Man. You truly are The Wisest!” Satisfied, the king slid down The Wisest Man’s long, long beard, climbed down the mountain, and crossed the river. Soon the kingdom learned of the trolls and stayed far away from the river.

Sometime later, the king’s advisor decided to ask a question. Since the river was too dangerous, she opted to take a new route through the forest. Bypassing the river, trekking through the forest, scaling the mountain, and climbing The Wisest Man’s long, long beard, the king’s advisor came face to face with The Wisest Man and panted: “Wise man, Wisest Man, I have a question to ask!” to which The Wisest Man replied, “Ask, and I will answer.” “Oh Wisest Man, what news is there of the kingdom?” The Wisest Man smiled and said, “My dear king’s advisor, I have terrible news. Goblins are coming to the forest. Soon it will be too dangerous to trek.” Terrified, the king’s advisor bowed and said, “Thank you Wisest Man. You truly are The Wisest!” Satisfied, the king’s advisor slid down The Wisest Man’s long, long beard, climbed down the mountain, trekked through the forest, and bypassed the river. Soon the kingdom learned of the goblins and stayed far away from the forest.

 Sometime later, the king’s wizard decided to ask a question. Since the forest was too dangerous, he opted to take a new route over the hills. Bypassing the river, avoiding the forest, crossing the hills, scaling the mountain, and climbing The Wisest Man’s long, long beard, the king’s wizard came face to face with The Wisest Man and huffed: “Wise man, Wisest Man, I have a question to ask!” to which The Wisest Man replied, “Ask, and I will answer.” “Oh Wisest Man, what news is there of the kingdom?” The Wisest Man smiled and said, “My dear king’s wizard, I have terrible news. Ogres are coming to the hills. Soon they will be too dangerous to cross.” Mortified, the king’s wizard bowed and said, “Thank you Wisest Man. You truly are The Wisest!” Satisfied, the king’s wizard slid down The Wisest Man’s long, long beard, climbed down the mountain, crossed the hills, avoided the forest, and bypassed the river. Soon the kingdom learned of the ogres and stayed far away from the hills.

Sometime later, the king’s knight decided to ask a question. Since the hills were too dangerous, he opted to take a new route through the swamp. Bypassing the river, avoiding the forest, skirting the hills, slogging through the swamp, scaling the mountain, and climbing The Wisest Man’s long, long beard, the king’s knight came face to face with The Wisest Man and gasped: “Wise man, Wisest Man, I hath a question to ask!” to which The Wisest Man replied, “Ask, and I will answer.” “Oh Wisest Man, what news doth there be of the kingdom?” The Wisest Man smiled and said, “My dear king’s knight, I have terrible news. Ghouls are coming to the swamp. Soon it will be too dangerous to slog.” Petrified, the king’s knight bowed and said, “Thank you Wisest Man. You truly are The Wisest!” Satisfied, the king’s knight slid down the Wisest Man’s long, long beard, climbed down the mountain, slogged through the swamp, skirted the hills, avoided the forest, and bypassed the river. Soon the kingdom learned of the ghouls and stayed far away from the swamp.

Shortly afterward, the kingdom was a mess! The fishermen couldn’t fish because of the trolls, the hunters couldn’t hunt because of the goblins, the farmers couldn’t farm because of the ogres, and the wizards couldn’t make potions because of the ghouls. The king, his advisor, wizard, and knight didn’t know what to do! “Oh,” lamented the king, “if only The Wisest Man could help us.” “Yes,” agreed the king’s advisor, “but it is too dangerous.” “Indeed,” agreed the king’s wizard, “not even my spells could do the trick.” “Aye,” agreed the king’s knight, “mine men hath not the strength to defeat the beasts.” As they sighed and sobbed, a young voice piped up. “I will go, my king!” The king looked to find a young peasant armed only with his hat and his hoe. “It will be dangerous, but someone has to go!” The king, his advisor, his wizard, and his knight were moved by the bravery of the peasant and gave him their blessing. The next morning, the peasant said his farewells and set off down the path.

First, he came to the river and crossed with no trolls in sight. Puzzled, the peasant continued. Second, he arrived at the forest and trekked through with no goblins in sight. Perplexed, the peasant continued. Third, he reached the hills and crossed with no ogres in sight. Baffled, the peasant continued. Fourth, he found the swamp and slogged with no ghouls in sight. Confounded, the peasant continued. Before he knew it, the peasant had crossed the river, trekked through the forest, crossed the hills, slogged through the swamp, scaled the mountain, climbed The Wisest Man’s long, long beard and came face to face with The Wisest Man. Furious, the peasant shouted, “Wise man, Wisest Man, I have some questions to ask!” to which The Wisest Man replied, “Ask, and I will answer.”

“Oh Wisest Man, what news is there of the swamp?” The Wisest Man smiled and said, “My dear peasant, I have terrible news. The swamp is riddled with horrible ghouls.” The peasant shook his head and said, “I have slogged the swamps. There are no ghouls!” The Wisest Man nodded sagely and replied, “Do you have another question?” “Oh Wisest Man, what news is there of the hills?” The Wisest Man smiled and said, “My dear peasant, I have terrible news. The hills are brimming with ferocious ogres.” The peasant shook his head and said, “I have crossed the hills. There are no ogres!” The Wisest Man nodded sagely and replied, “Do you have another question?” “Oh Wisest Man, what news is there of the forest?” The Wisest Man smiled and said, “My dear peasant, I have terrible news. The forest is teeming with greedy goblins.” The peasant shook his head and said, “I have trekked the forest. There are no goblins!” The Wisest Man nodded sagely and replied, “Do you have another question?” “Oh Wisest Man, what news is there of the river?” The Wisest Man smiled and said, “My dear peasant, I have terrible news. The river is packed with ravenous trolls.” The peasant shook his head and said, “I have crossed the river. There are no goblins!” The Wisest Man nodded sagely and replied, “Do you have another question?”

 The peasant, now shaking with ire, cleared his throat and said, “Oh Wisest Man, are you really The Wisest Man?” The old man smiled and said, “No, my dear peasant, you are. Because for the first time in ages, you are the first one to ask me that question.”

Reviews

[Jonathan Lee]

I love this! You perfectly capture the conventions, tone, and mood of a classic fairy tale. The moral of the story is simple, yet profound, and precisely the kind of practical advice I would expect to see in a folk story. At the same time, it's one that remains timely and all the more relevant in the Information Age. Your use of repetition, appropriate vocabulary, and other linguistic structures fit the genre to a tee.

I thoroughly enjoyed it, and this is only the second work I'm rating 100/100.

[dugle]

T-Thanks, man! I really tried to channel something out of a picture book in the writing, especially the repetition, but I didn't know if I went too far or not. Glad you enjoyed it!

[Jonathan Lee]

Hey, just FYI: I liked this enough that I shared it on FB only to have someone point out that it's not available to non-members. Do you think you might reconsider that option, maybe?

[dugle]

Sure, as long as it doesn't appear anywhere else without my knowledge! Thanks for asking.