Jacob Knight and the Wraith of the Woods Excerpt

Jacob Knight and the Wraith of the Woods Excerpt

A Story by dugle
"

Veteran Paranormal Investigator and Jerk Jacob Knight gets more than he bargained for when his car breaks down on a road less-traveled.

"

KNIGHT (V.O):

I know what you're thinking. How the hell did I get into this business?

 

EXT: GRIMY ALLEYWAY, NIGHT

 

A family of rats disperses into the shadows as a disheveled man in a trench coat comes crashing head over heels into their alley sending a group of garbage cans tumbling to the ground. Brushing bits of filth off of his shoulder, he glares at his assailant, the dim light of the streetlamps reflecting off of his large spectacles.

 

KNIGHT (V.O):

Detective work is like any other job: you fall into it.

 

The man in the glasses is tackled into a trash heap by a large thug. Before the attacker can follow up, however, the man in the glasses delivers a kick to his stomach sending him reeling onto his back. With a growl, the bespectacled man delivers punch after punch into the attacker's face, but is stopped when his attacker’s pale hand clasps his wrist.

 

KNIGHT (V.O):

I was always good at finding things; I paid attention to details, and, when the situation called for it, I could take a punch pretty well.

 

 The pale fist collides with the man's face knocking his glasses off and into a puddle of liquid refuse.

 

KNIGHT (V.O):

The life of a Private Detective isn't exactly what I'd call glamorous. But if you've got the stomach for it, it pays the bills. A Paranormal Investigator, on the other hand...

 

The man with the glasses head-butts the thug’s nose sending him reeling back, the streetlight's glow illuminating the attacker’s snow-white visage. Baring two dagger-like canines, the thug lunges at the spectacled man again only to freeze inches away from the man's face, a sharpened stake embedded in his chest. The spectacled man, bemused, grins.

 

KNIGHT (V.O):

I'll be honest with you: I haven't eaten anything more expensive than five dollars for months. I haven't been laid in years, and my landlord has tried to kill me, but nothing is more satisfying than looking a vampire square in his dead little eyes and whispering:

 

The man places his bent glasses back on, a trickle of blood streaming out of his left nostril and onto his white dress shirt.

 

KNIGHT:

Ashes to ashes, B***H.

 

INT: HUXLEY COUNTY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

              Wearing the same, albeit cleaner, set of clothes, the man stands up from the desk he was leaning on, a young female teacher still absorbing his speech. With a wink, he picks up a paper coffee cup resting on her desk and takes a swig, the name 'Jacob' messily scrawled on the side in black pen.

 

KNIGHT:

Any questions?

 

The classroom of elementary school students is quiet as the grave, staring at him in varying degrees of disbelief and awe. The teacher, now recovered, breaks the ice.

 

TEACHER:

Class, I'll be right back. Make sure to ask Mr. Knight any questions you have.

 

KNIGHT:

 Detective Knight.

 

 The teacher gives him an unsure nod and quickly exits the class. A long-haired student sitting in the back row raises his hand.

 

KNIGHT:

 That's more like it! You. Shaggy.

 

STUDENT:

Uh, have you ever killed someone?

 

Jacob thinks for a moment and raises his coffee cup thoughtfully.

 

KNIGHT:

 Would you consider the undead dead?

 

STUDENT:

 I guess not...

 

With another sip, Jacob strokes his five o'clock shadow.

 

KNIGHT:

Then yes, I have killed before.

 

STUDENT:

 But you just said the undead weren-

 

KNIGHT:

A Paranormal Investigator deals with all sorts of strange stuff, kid. Werewolves aren't undead, now are they? What about Pixies? Eh?

 

As the kid nods, the teacher returns followed by an older man wearing an olive tweed jacket and pants. Hovering in the doorway, the man points to Jacob, then the hallway. Jacob reaches for his coffee, but the teacher interrupts by half leading, half dragging him to the door.

 

TEACHER:

Alright class, that's all the time we have for our guest speaker. Next time we'll have a REAL detective here an-

 

Jacob pushes past her and grabs his coffee, and before he is dismissed again adds:

 

KNIGHT:

It's a real profession! Don't walk alone at night!

 

With a hasty salute he leaves the classroom, the teacher slamming the door behind him.

 

INT: HUXLEY COUNTY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL HALLWAY

 

KNIGHT:

              Alrighty Mr. Savage, I believe we agreed on $500?

 

The man stares at him menacingly, obviously not amused.

 

MR SAVAGE:

You realize, Mr. Knight-

 

KNIGHT:

Detective.

 

The man sighs in exasperation.

 

MR SAVAGE:

Detective Knight, that we were looking for a Private Detective to speak in Ms. Hershey's class, right?

 

Jacob takes another swig from his coffee cup.

 

KNIGHT:

I am a Private Detective! What, do I need to bring in a magnifying glass or something for you peop-

 

MR SAVAGE:

I was under the impression that Private Detectives didn't talk about killing vampires, Mr. Knight.

 

KNIGHT:

 Well, that's your problem, buddy, because my ad in the paper says Private Detective AND Paranormal Investigator. Not to mention I gave a great lecture and I even made some flashcards tha-

 

The man shakes his head angrily and hands Jacob a check.

 

MR SAVAGE:

There you go, just promise you'll never come to my school again.

 

Pocketing the check, Jacob enthusiastically shakes Principal Savage's hand and heads towards the exit.

 

KNIGHT:

And thank you very much for having me.

© 2016 dugle


Author's Note

dugle
Currently a very rough draft written in screenplay/graphic novel format. Apologies for the briefness!

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Added on February 15, 2016
Last Updated on February 20, 2016
Tags: graphic novel, excerpt, paranormal, fiction, comedic

Author

dugle
dugle

CA



About
A California resident with way too many half-baked ideas flitting around in his head. I've written a few amateur articles for a travel site in Japan, but my real passion is writing stories. I take a L.. more..

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