Jacob Knight and the Wraith of the Woods ExcerptA Story by dugleVeteran Paranormal Investigator and Jerk Jacob Knight gets more than he bargained for when his car breaks down on a road less-traveled.KNIGHT (V.O): I know what you're thinking. How the hell did I get
into this business?
EXT: GRIMY ALLEYWAY, NIGHT
A family of rats disperses into the shadows as a
disheveled man in a trench coat comes crashing head over heels into their alley
sending a group of garbage cans tumbling to the ground. Brushing bits of filth
off of his shoulder, he glares at his assailant, the dim light of the
streetlamps reflecting off of his large spectacles.
KNIGHT (V.O): Detective work is like any other job: you fall into it.
The man in the glasses is tackled into a trash heap by a
large thug. Before the attacker can follow up, however, the man in the glasses
delivers a kick to his stomach sending him reeling onto his back. With a growl,
the bespectacled man delivers punch after punch into the attacker's face, but is
stopped when his attacker’s pale hand clasps his wrist.
KNIGHT (V.O): I was always good at finding things; I paid attention
to details, and, when the situation called for it, I could take a punch pretty
well.
The pale fist
collides with the man's face knocking his glasses off and into a puddle of
liquid refuse.
KNIGHT (V.O): The life of a Private Detective isn't exactly what I'd
call glamorous. But if you've got the stomach for it, it pays the bills. A
Paranormal Investigator, on the other hand...
The man with the glasses head-butts the thug’s nose sending
him reeling back, the streetlight's glow illuminating the attacker’s snow-white
visage. Baring two dagger-like canines, the thug lunges at the spectacled man
again only to freeze inches away from the man's face, a sharpened stake
embedded in his chest. The spectacled man, bemused, grins.
KNIGHT (V.O): I'll be honest with you: I haven't eaten anything more
expensive than five dollars for months. I haven't been laid in years, and my
landlord has tried to kill me, but nothing is more satisfying than looking a
vampire square in his dead little eyes and whispering:
The man places his bent glasses back on, a trickle of
blood streaming out of his left nostril and onto his white dress shirt.
KNIGHT: Ashes to ashes, B***H.
INT: HUXLEY COUNTY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL Wearing
the same, albeit cleaner, set of clothes, the man stands up from the desk he
was leaning on, a young female teacher still absorbing his speech. With a wink,
he picks up a paper coffee cup resting on her desk and takes a swig, the name
'Jacob' messily scrawled on the side in black pen.
KNIGHT: Any questions?
The classroom of elementary school students is quiet as
the grave, staring at him in varying degrees of disbelief and awe. The teacher,
now recovered, breaks the ice.
TEACHER: Class, I'll be right back. Make sure to ask Mr. Knight
any questions you have.
KNIGHT: Detective
Knight.
The teacher
gives him an unsure nod and quickly exits the class. A long-haired student
sitting in the back row raises his hand.
KNIGHT: That's more like
it! You. Shaggy.
STUDENT: Uh, have you ever killed someone?
Jacob thinks for a moment and raises his coffee cup
thoughtfully.
KNIGHT: Would you
consider the undead dead?
STUDENT: I guess not...
With another sip, Jacob strokes his five o'clock
shadow.
KNIGHT: Then yes, I have killed before.
STUDENT: But you just
said the undead weren-
KNIGHT: A Paranormal Investigator deals with all sorts of
strange stuff, kid. Werewolves aren't undead, now are they? What about Pixies?
Eh?
As the kid nods, the teacher returns followed by an
older man wearing an olive tweed jacket and pants. Hovering in the doorway, the
man points to Jacob, then the hallway. Jacob reaches for his coffee, but the
teacher interrupts by half leading, half dragging him to the door.
TEACHER: Alright class, that's all the time we have for our
guest speaker. Next time we'll have a REAL detective here an-
Jacob pushes past her and grabs his coffee, and before
he is dismissed again adds:
KNIGHT: It's a real profession! Don't walk alone at night!
With a hasty salute he leaves the classroom, the
teacher slamming the door behind him.
INT: HUXLEY COUNTY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL HALLWAY
KNIGHT: Alrighty
Mr. Savage, I believe we agreed on $500?
The man stares at him menacingly, obviously not amused.
MR SAVAGE: You realize, Mr. Knight-
KNIGHT: Detective.
The man sighs in exasperation.
MR SAVAGE: Detective Knight, that we were looking for a
Private Detective to speak in Ms. Hershey's class, right?
Jacob takes another swig from his coffee cup.
KNIGHT: I am a Private Detective! What, do I need to bring in a
magnifying glass or something for you peop-
MR SAVAGE: I was under the impression that Private Detectives didn't
talk about killing vampires, Mr. Knight.
KNIGHT: Well, that's
your problem, buddy, because my ad in the paper says Private Detective AND
Paranormal Investigator. Not to mention I gave a great lecture and I even made
some flashcards tha-
The man shakes his head angrily and hands Jacob a
check.
MR SAVAGE: There you go, just promise you'll never come to my
school again.
Pocketing the check, Jacob enthusiastically shakes
Principal Savage's hand and heads towards the exit.
KNIGHT: And thank you very much for
having me. © 2016 dugleAuthor's Note
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Added on February 15, 2016 Last Updated on February 20, 2016 Tags: graphic novel, excerpt, paranormal, fiction, comedic AuthordugleCAAboutA California resident with way too many half-baked ideas flitting around in his head. I've written a few amateur articles for a travel site in Japan, but my real passion is writing stories. I take a L.. more..Writing
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