Lost

If you have better Title then Regret please tell me :) i have hard time to pick a title for this poem!!

I feel alone in this apartment 
 
memory of the good times 
 
how far have i fallen... 
 
faint whispers of your voice still haunting  
 
i miss you..... 
 
my heart calls for you like a beacon of hope 
 
 
i feel lost without you 
 
 
still i want you to know 
 
 
you might be out of my reach 
 
 
i pull out my hand 
 
 
because you are the other side of me that i seek  
 
 
you make me strong 
 
 
now i feel so weak  
 
 
so tell me!!! why did you have to leave ?

Author's Note

the first thing that pops in your mind while reading or after reading it! GO!!! :D

Reviews

[Jem Sagcal]

I feel the sadness that was embedded into this poem.

But, maybe, it would really help readers to add some commas to separate small ideas. It makes it a little hard to read because of the run-ons.
And there are some points wherein they lack something.

But, again, a good piece. You can still improve this by a lot.

[jamal]

thanks Jem! Well this time i didnt want to make it to deep, but as you said i need a lot work to improve my writeing. I will take more time and learn a lot before posting the next poem :)

[Frieda P]

First thing that pops into my head is my dear sister, she's been gone for over three years now, I'm sure it's much more personal for you. Loss is loss and the pain is the same...lovely read.

[jamal]

Thank you! Loss is loss and the pain is the same, well said! im happy you like it :)

[scripted]

the first thing that pops in mind is my sister havent seen her in a year and she is constantly running through my mind

[jamal]

Im happy like it and i hope you get see her soon! and i mean soon!!! :D Thank you for sharing!

[Damien Davison]

Intense, heart wrenching, solid. First 3 things that popped in to my head, how about that? Great write jamal, thanks for sharing!

[jamal]

Great words Damien :) thank you

[}Echo{]

I really like this. I like the emotion in this. Great write. :)

[jamal]

thank you :)

[}Echo{]

:)

[sandyce]

It is beautiful. A love story.
Started out though thinking someone had died...then as it continued I realised, the author is missing the other half.
A suggested title is "Lost" I know the feeling of this poem - it says it all.

[jamal]

Thank you Sandyce! I think you are right about the name "Lost" its perfect, so thank you for helping me find name of the title :)

[fiery-san]

I love it! It's so simple yet it managed to convey so much sadness and longing. Keep up the good work! ^_^

[jamal]

yes that was the idea to make it simple and convey some sadness and longing but hopefully not to much xD