Area Student Gets B+ On S****y Project About Some Boring Crap

Noting average-at-best information and an overall mediocre effort, local student Matthew Galior of John F. Kennedy High School in Rochester received an 87 on his history project Thursday.

            Though intended to allow students to self-teach on one particularly boring section of World History II, the assignment given out by teacher Glen Nichols only taught students how to bullshit a PowerPoint for an easy A.  It has been reported that the average grade was a 93, although these reports has not been confirmed.

            “I’m kind of pissed because everyone basically everyone got A’s except me,” Galior explained in an interview.  “But then again I don’t really care since I spent, like, 20 minutes on that crap.”

            “Seriously, I barely even know what the project was on.  Complete copy-paste from Wikipedia.  I guess I’m lucky some other poor jerk wrote all that stuff first.”

            Galior demonstrated for us in a Google search that the links for the Wikipedia page, as well as a Yahoo Answers page about online citations, were already purple on Internet Explorer. 

            “Actually, most of the time I was just trying to figure out how to cite articles.  But then I remembered Mr. Nichols doesn’t let us use Wikipedia so I wrote that I already knew all the information from the project. He didn’t even look.”

            The utter crap that was meant to be investigated really had no effect on anything else in history and was completely useless in any other context of life. “It was about an Assyrian war, I think,” revealed Galior.  “Or, no, it was just a regular war but the Assyrians were part of it. I don’t know.” 

            Sources confirmed that the grading was carelessly done and worked out in the favor of the students who put in little to no effort.

            In a closing statement, Galior admitted that “if I used more transitions in the PowerPoint I think I would’ve gotten an A.”