Across the Atlantic Ocean

Long distance relationships are not for everyone.

I guess you're right. I haven't exactly let go. Come to terms with it. Maybe that's okay. Maybe the pain is the only thing that makes me feel alive. The pain is the only indicator that you were real. That this was real. That I loved you. That I think you loved me. That you gave me a heart to love with. That you also broke it.

  Sometimes I think about how short life is. How one day all of this will be nothing. We will be nothing. Everything we have worked towards, invented and discovered. It will be gone. Then I think about a year. Twelve months. 365 days. 8765 hours. A year of somebody's presence is the perfect amount of time to truly know them. Inside and out. However, does this also apply to a year of acknowledgment of one's existence? One that you unconditionally love of course. One that has a hold on the pieces of your heart without any form of realization.

  Being in love is the sweetest cure, yet the most harmful poison. You understood me more than I think I will ever realize. Your comfort was so effective yet so limited. Perhaps it was 4,136 miles of distance between us, or perhaps it was too early to see the reality of what I had gotten myself into.

  Blindness caused by love for the first time is unutterable.For a year,  your existence has taken place in only my imagination. That is the worst part of it all. You were never real in my world. Therefore I should have very little to miss. Unfortunately enough for me, that is not at all the case. I wish it was. I could not wish this pain upon the worst of my enemies.  

  The hours after midnight are the worst. When the choices I make are ones I know I will regret in the morning. I lose control of both my feelings and thoughts and before I know it, the desperation for your limited comfort grows wildly and rapidly. The shattered pieces of my heart cause an atrocious pain. I am no longer in control. I am no longer able to pretend that I am strong enough. Nor do I have to. I have no one to pretend for anymore. You're gone. They don't have a care in the world.

  I wish I could wish you the best and though I love you, I hope you're also in this with me.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Asante]

A really good piece of work here. One that I loved reading. Definitely better written than you gave it credit for. Keep it up! :)

[JannyHatch]

Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. :)

[MoriartyMesa]

Sort of reminds me of a letter my grand dad kept from his days back in 44. In a words that could and can change in entire life.

Well done.

[JannyHatch]

Wow! Thank you so much :')

[Steph]

This is really heartfelt and powerful. There is a really dominant tone throughout. It's a really good piece of prose. You are super talented!

[JannyHatch]

Thank you!

[nafisa]

I loved the opening. so extremely fierce. I could feel the emotions,
Well done : )

[JannyHatch]

Thank you very much :')

[Colin R. DeTalente]

Keep writing, never give up. you will be something great one day.

[JannyHatch]

Thank you! That means a lot to me.