Sway

Swaying in his arms

I cannot look away

His eyes are so bright

 

I feel light-headed

His embrace is a promise

He holds me so close

 

We both lean closer

Wow, am I really dancing?

This must be a dream

 

I hear soft music

I feel his breath on my neck

I see those green eyes

 

Or maybe they're blue

It's really hard to tell when

He holds me thisclose

 

Rocking and swaying

This moment lasts forever

And then I wake up.

 

 

 

Author's Note

This haiku-style poem was inspired from a dream of mine a few days ago...I hope you like it. :)

Reviews

[Dani California]

"I hear soft music
I feel his breath on my neck
I see those green eyes

Or maybe they're blue"


Okay, I have to get this part out of the way... lmao! "or maybe they're blue...". I'm sorry. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I was going along thinking to myself... aww, this is really romantic. And then.... bam! Hilarious..!

Nice work on this. Your haiku syllable count is right there. I really enjoyed the read. A nice romantically charged dream.... dancing, swaying, holding close, staring into beautiful unknown colored eyes..lol... and then you wake up. Damn.

Well done!

[Wondering Mind]

Nicely penned- dreamy with lovely expressions.

[Seriana]

Ahhh, in the mind of a dream. What a sweet little write! I love the haiku idea for each verse. I've never seen that before. And the title is perfect. Swaying to the rhythm of another. Simply beautiful. :)

[RawrAngel]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I love it!

[Amanda]

a really nice write...sweet dreams are made of these...

good work, my dear :)

Amanda

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

A simple, haiku-style poem. I always love the topic about a "dream" man, or a fantasy man, because being single for 2 years, it's part of my reality. ha ha. no, i write a lot about it anyway, as you know. Good imagrey..here is my personal fav:

I see those green eyes



Or maybe they're blue

It's really hard to tell when

He holds me thisclose

that's great, because it's true, sometimes when were are in rapture of one another, we mainly focus on feelings, and eyes may elude us, just the feeling of being in their arms.

great job!!!

[bluessadmood]

Swaying in his arms
I cannot look away
His eyes are so bright
We both lean closer
Wow, am I really dancing?
This must be a dream...i always hoped its not ...ha ha
Or maybe they're blue
It's really hard to tell when
He holds me this close..oh i am sure its hard to tell ha ha
Rocking and swaying
This moment lasts forever
And then I wake up....i just wished it was not a dream
you made me wake up,i was following a very nice dream
wonderful writing really.so nicely told,well done,perfect...