Sink

The water is running cold,

and my skin feels like ice.

The air smells like mildew,

like cheap bathroom cleaner

and cigarette smoke.

I've been sitting in here

for hours,

soaking in the coldness

and breathing in

the smoke that you left.

 

I close my eyes, exhale,

sink to the bottom

of the bathtub.

I inhale, breathe in,

gasp and shudder,

rise to the top.

My hair feels like seaweed;

my eyes burn with soap.

 

I'm naked,

isn't that what you wanted?

Isn't that all you wanted?

Why aren't you here?

 

I let myself sink again,

and the world is submerged.

Everything is faint and distant.

Water fills my ears, my nose,

my skin.

So cold, so cold,

the hot water has gone out.

Where are you?

Why aren't you here?

Why don't I want you here?

 

My lungs are empty,

I press my lips to the surface.

I gasp, choke, smother.

The air feels so empty,

my heart feels so empty,

my stomach and mind

are all so empty.

I'm completely full

of emptiness.

 

 

Reviews

[Adrian K. Smith]

The twisted sublime message that I receive from this, speaks of a true despair that is sustainable until ennui sets in... then the lips never break water again. When every moment of every thing that once mattered feels empty, that hollow feeling that it so hard to explain - but you can look into the eyes of another - and recognize the reflection of yourself in their eyes... then it takes on a sense of comfort. Though there is no joy, there is no pain other than the realization of that emptiness. There is simply too much risk of pain by wanting somebody there, needing somebody... knowing they might leave, it is so much easier to be alone - have that sense of control over that pain... that phantom pain, of all that was but is now missing - of all that might have been that will never come to be...

When you can fake that smile, saying that it is a beautiful day... while on the inside, everything is a dismal shade of gray and you no longer feel the need to cry... you look up from where you should be drowning, only to realize you are not... you have already drowned....

[!!..Love..!!]

Oh my godness dear! It is so beautifully sad, I felt the sense of pain and sorrow in every single line, in every single word. Such a depressing piece!

[Tai-San]

This is rlly good. twisted and good. i luv it!

[Aspiring Angel]

Wonderful job here my friend. I am hoping that it was brought from only a moment within yourself or from muse all together. VERY good yet once again.

Hugs,
Lesa

[~angelalala~]

this is a powerful poem of despair. seems to me to be on the verge of suicide, lost in your loneliness, perhaps pushing yourself to the edge, such as submerging in the cold water. this is very strong & dark. i loved it. wonderful write.

[Samuel Dickens]

I'm probably the world's worst at deciphering the underlying meaning from this kind of poetry. I don't know who or what you're speaking to. I only know you sound hopeless and full of despair. You're skillfull with words as always--I just don't get your meaning.

[A. A. Zambrana]

Ahhh what a wonderfully descriptive poem! It's the first one I've read today and I really enjoy the images it's left me with. This is obviously very descriptive, but even more than that, it isn't redundant, which happens far too often in detailed poems. Good job. I enjoyed it very much.

[Wondering Mind]

"I'm completely full-of emptiness." A pefect ending for a very descriptive write. Well penned!

[These Haunted Hallways]

Yea, i know how that is, exactly. I can relate. I like the really good detail in this, as it gave me the chills as i read it. I felt the coldness. Haunting, really haunting. Great job. *Hugs*

B.A.