Brown-Haired Girl

a small, brown-haired girl

sits alone in her bedroom.

a book is balanced on her lap,

a notepad sits beside her,

and an old CD player

is blaring music into her ears.

but she does not hear the notes,

nor does she notice

the outside world,

where her friends play without her

and the moments pass silently.

she opens her book

and stares blankly at the first page.

her mind is filled with thoughts

of imaginary characters;

love-sick ladies

and cunning young men.

her fingers brush against the words,

and she closes her eyes.

oh, how she would love

to sink into those words,

to let their sweet melody

surround her

and carry her off.

the images are burned

under her eyelids.

soft lips,

crystal tears,

and amazing adventures

that she will never, ever have.

 

Reviews

[Alex Annesty]

I like the imagery in this poem: "her fingers brush against the words" is a lovely line.

You mentioned you'd like your novels reviewed, but I couldn't find any. If you'll steer me in the right direction, I'll be happy to provide some feedback. Perhaps you'd return the compliment, by reviewing my novel in progress, "Colin goes to Zobeland".

[flyAWAYhero]

She'll never have those adventures, but perhaps she will stumble upon something better? Find herself publishing one of those odysseys she wishes for so hard? Or maybe something completely different, like discovering a cure for Alzheimer's?

Anyways. Your words seem to embody the thoughts of every young bookworm. Beautiful and sad; perfect;y ethereal. Your imagery is amazing, as is your rhythm. The last six lines are lovely. The title isn't much of a grabber, though, but perhaps it is just vague enough to pique one's interest?

[Scott Free]

This is so good...
Yes, she will never have those adventures--and I think every kid who's a bookworm comes to that realization some time or other. But then, there is always writing. It's even better than having those adventures, because you're creating them.
But about the poem...
it flowed very smoothly, which I liked--hovered exactly in the right places, good word choice, n'all that. However, I know you wouldn't like it if I just praised it, so I'll give you one piece of advice;
The title and the beginning are a bit non-adhesive. I say that when I mean that there wasn't much to grab me. The poem soon got my attention but it really matters at the beginning. Something more flaring, more ohmigoshiwannakeepreadingness.
Keep writing! Love your work!

[n]

Extremely good writing.
Very creative and different, which is always good.
I love your word choice and how your phrases flow.
Great job.

[bluessadmood]

oh yes these are fantasy worlds,you will dream about
they will take to places and times you have never imagined
you will see how man loves ,hates ,plays around get fooled
feels happy feels sad,he does so much good yet he commit crimes
he lies laughs ,smiles ,cries tears, profuse
you will see lots of lives a lifetime all in a few hours
you say you wish you could be there,share the adventures
but dear reading those and those and many more
then you will find yourself right in the middle of it
you will not feel it,but suddenly you are there right with them
for once they were just like you ,only at times they were put on paper
but they were just like you ,its when reality fades and fantasy takes over ,or when fantasy fades and reality takes over
its the great world of make believe where everything is a dream ...or true
you never know..
wonderful write....

[Tammy]

Sad write but good.

[Wicahpi]

perfectly sad; perfectly endearing.
reminding me of a little girl sitting in her room
on her lavender whicker chair; dreaming....
yes, i relate to the little girl in this poem.
kudos. nice job

[Adrian K. Smith]

There has always been something about words and the magic that rests within them that no movie nor any television show can quite offer nor capture. There are grand adventures, hopes, dreams, love, and so much more that simply carries us off page after page after page. We find within the various words that we read another time and another place, wondering if that we will ever know such as that we have read. For a moment, the magic takes us away from what we may see as the drabbery of our mundane lives and what may lay in wait for us. We never really know though... our own lives may one day outshine anything that we have read, and in the sadness I read in this particular work - I would hope one might realize that... as good as any collection of words might be, in the end - they can never compare with the magic that may wait for us right around the bend... thank you for sharing this with us.

[Wondering Mind]

Beautiful but sad , some lovely lines and wonderful descriptions. A very well penned write.

[Emily B]

oh, I looked in your words and saw myself. As a child. Your words are light, delicate almost ethereal. But I feel the tears. Or maybe that's a memory, too. Wonderful write.

[~angelalala~]

i like this poem. your description of the brown-haired girl is so vivid, i can see her perfectly in my mind. i love the imagery of this poem "her fingers brush against the words" this is my favorite line. most writers write to escape their reality, to meet characters she'd never meet in real life, places only thought up of in dreams. i can relate to this poem & the brown haired girl. beautifully written.