Waiting

Patience is the stem that stretches the waiting to make it longer; but love is the roots that holds the patience strong and still to prevent the fruits of waiting from falling..

  

   " Waiting is the longest word life has ever made us to spell," Lola* Nelia told me when I asked her why she spent most of her time by the window as if expecting for something or someone to come.

   I want to ask her more, but I chose to keep silent when I saw her fell into a deep thought while gently rocking the chair she's sitting on. Maybe Lola Nelia is not yet ready to share her thoughts, so I decided to left her. But before I could take my first step away from her, I heard her say;

   "My life has been a long waiting..." she started to speak.

   And through broken words which are caused by the once-in-a-while shutting of her lips, Lola Nelia told me her story.

   She was twenty-eight years old when she fell in love with a man ten years younger than her. This man, Daniel, has a young girlfriend of his age at that time. But she loved Daniel so much that she promised to herself that she would wait for him and for the time he will part ways with her girlfriend, Rosalie. And that took her almost three years.

   Then one day, she was surprised when Daniel asked her to marry him. She accepted Daniel's proposal though she was a bit confused of the real reason of his urgent decision. They already have a one-year old daughter when she knew the reason why--- Rosalie went away with an old Japanese businessman.

   She felt like she was just a cover to the hole created by Rosalie, but she did her best to make Daniel happy. She gave him all the comforts of life and everything that could make their marriage perfect. But for each passing day, she never felt that Daniel loved her, too as much as she loved him. She waited for ten years for his love only to fail.. knowing that Daniel still loves Rosalie. The truth had caused her too much pain but she lengthen her patience for another ten years.

  But all her patience gained nothing when she woke up one day that Daniel was gone. He went away without any word of goodbye.

   Lola Nelia stopped for a while. I saw a tear in the corner of her eye. I felt pity for her and I touched her hand..and she pulled mine as if telling me to comfort her.

   "I have lived my life alone," Lola Nelia said as she stared out of the window again.

   'Alone? But doesn't you have a daughter?' I want to speak these words to her but again..I chose to shut my mouth.

   Then as her rocking chair moves gently, Lola Nelia continued on her story...

   When she found out that Daniel had gone away, she felt that her whole world collapsed. She waited everyday for him to comeback, but without success. Months had passed. Then years. Seven years to be exact. But not a shadow of Daniel had shown to her. She went desperate. She abandoned herself. She forgot to live, for Daniel was her only life. And she forgot that someone still needs her care and time. Her only daughter. A daughter who had grown impatient on her mother's desperation.

   Then one day, she just woke up in reality that she was already here in this home-for- the- aged. Myra, her daughter, told her that she would be staying here for she will be working abroad and couldn't trust anybody to look after her. She agreed. Anyway, it won't be long. Myra said it would only be two years.

   Lola Nelia tried to hide the tears that fell from her eyes but my sight still caught them.
   "I love my daughter so much", Lola Nelia's lips were trembling while she speaks. "She's the only one I have..and I want to spend the remaining days of my life with her."

   I grabbed her hand to comfort her once more.

   "Don't worry, Lola. Two years is just a short time," I told her with great sympathy trying to fill her heart with hope.

   She gave me a thrift smile but said nothing.

   And when I left her, I checked on her records at the office. And a tear fell from my eye knowing why Lola Nelia defined waiting as the longest word she had spelled in her whole life...

   It's been fifteen years since Myra had left her in this home-for-the-aged.



*Lola is a Filipino term for Grandmother.

Author's Note

I just saw an elderly being interviewed in the television about their situation in the home for the aged and I heard her say, "Gusto ko na umuwi". I just thought this could be her story.