Chapter 16: Tick

Emily contemplates time. Is it time for her to move on?

Emily.

 

It was probably the worst time

for something like that to happen.
I soon learned that any

time was a bad time for anon to
intervene in any situation.

I was sitting in an interrogation
room, having just confessed to

being an accomplice in the case of
the manslaughter of Jonathon

Miller. I had learned to hate the
sound of the name. Cringed at

thought of his bruised, mangled
face. They asked me the usual

questions, I answered without a
second thought or even the urge to

lie. Tyler told the truth, so I would
as well. Until they asked where the

body was. I opened my mouth to
speak but someone else’s words

poured out. It was my voice, so to
the officer it seemed normal. But to me

the sentence was completely
alien. I heard a whisper of the

statement before it spilled from
my mouth, but I never thought

I’d ever say it. "I don’t know."
The three words that started

it all, the three words that started
the end of my life. Surprisingly

I managed to keep a straight
face as I had the entire time,

no trace of fear or shock. Anon
seemed to laugh. The sound shook

and rattled inside my skull.
Anon had never managed to

go beyond that. Go beyond forcing
words from my mouth or thoughts inside

my head. Arguments stayed
inside. But not for long.

 

 

And now here I am,

 

locked up in a mental institution.
I am sitting at breakfast with
a few other crazies when Liam

 

sits down. He flashes a set of
perfect teeth my way and
then turns to dig into his eggs.

 

But it isn’t like the others,
he doesn’t shovel them in like
some maniac or push

 

them around the plate like
some depressed freak. He eats
them with a sense of character.

 

Polite and brought up with
knowledge of manners, and
how to use them. I suppose

 

in a way that could be
completely insane as well.
I must have been watching

 

him very carefully because
he drops the fork from
his mouth and smiles at me,

 

a crooked, confused smile,
the most radiant smile I have
ever seen. His face turns

 

to amused as he begins to
chuckle. "You okay there,
bud?" Several others have

 

stopped to stare at me as
well, I have almost stretched
my entire torso across the

 

length of the table, intently
staring at Liam. I compose
myself and resume my

 

past position of calm and
collected. "Yeah, I’m fine."
I mutter, blushing. He


 drives his fork back into
 eggs, "You weren’t casting
a spell on me to make my

dick smaller or nothin’, were
 you?" He begins to laugh as
a nurse strikes him over the


head with a clipboard.
"Language, Hopkins." He laughs
again and dismisses the male
 
nurse with a wave of his hand,
 who rolls his eyes and strolls
over to a different table.

He leans forward and
whispers, "He’s just jealous
 cause I’m gifted in places


he’s not. If you know what
I mean." Liam winks and
 settles back into place,


placing a hand on his stomach
and humming a familiar tune.
"That’s Kiss it All Better by He


Is We, isn’t it?" Liam looks at
me, He stops chewing and
nods thoughtfully. "Yes, yes


it is. What a heavenly way to
 die, in the arms of your true
love." I cringe of the thought


of that, of death in general.
"How is death heavenly?"
Liam smiles and considers the

question for a few moments.
"Well, instead of fearing death
and dying, we are encouraged to turn

 to God and look forward to being
 with Jesus in heaven forever after
we die. It’s a nice thought, having

something to look forward to, having
 hope. That’s what keeps us going you
know, hope, faith." He smiles at me,

staring deep into my eyes, I feel his
lingering stare prod at my soul. "And
above all that, love." He winks once more


 and swings his legs over the bench,
 standing up with his tray, he saunters
over to the trolley with the dirty dishes

and out the door, followed by a nurse.

 

 

 

 

I think that’s when I decide it's time,

 

to forgive Tyler.

Time,

to realize that those problems are the past.

Time,

to give a life of happiness a chance, to move on.

Time,

to decide if I am still in love with him.

Tick,

the clock won’t stop for me to make a decision.

Tock,

I am running out of

time,

my heart will never be able

to

get over the hurt until I learn how to

break

free from the dark canvas that has formed over

it and has slowly started to grow with it, beat with

the

steady movements of blood pumping through

my veins. Molding with who I am becoming, it

has weakened me and only speeds up the hands

on the

clock.

 

 

 

I swallow my tasteless eggs,

 

and jump up from the table.
My fiery headed nurse asks
me if I want to go to the study

 

or back to my room for some
private reading. "Does everyone
have study right now?" Paige

 

raises an eyebrow and her
chubby red lips rotate a tinge
at each corner. "Liam will be

 

in the study, yes." I feel my
cheeks burn and I begin
to chew on the inside.

 

She chuckles and guides
me towards the place where
Liam will be.

 

The study is much like a
library, almost identical
to the one at my old

 

high school except for
keen adults that edit the
selection of literature

 

for these innocent eyes
to view. Not exactly a
Dr. Suess arrangement,

 

but certainly nothing like
Suzanne Collins, or Stephenie Meyer.
Books written specifically for

 

our age group. Problems and
all. I suppose that’s exactly
why we aren’t allowed to read

 

them. Why depress the
depressed? There are
lineups of wooden oak

 

tables alongside bookshelves
with quiet crazies, their noses
deep inside fiction and fantasy

 

escaping their horrible reality.
I see individual desks facing
a large window. Only a few

 

kids sit at them, nurses
standing nearby, alert.
I assume that it is pexi

 

glass, something super
strong. My eyes continue
to scan until they settle on

 

the familiar figure I know
to be Liam’s. He is walking
towards the entrance of an

 

aisle. I stride towards him,
Paige in my footsteps.
I reach the same bookshelves

 

that Liam has previously
passed and follow behind
him. "You know If you’re

 

going to follow me, you
might want to borrow
Harry’s invisibility cloak."