My Five Sisters

Basic core fears from childhood 2007 Thanks Chuck for helping me realize it.

Five fears have plagued my life and I want a cure from them.

like the Bubonic plague they have left pock marks on my soul

they entered my psyche almost from infancy and

became firmly entrenched

feasted on me almost daily

we have had a symbiotic relationship my fears and I

I am not sure what life would be like without them

but its time to try.

they have been as dysfunctional twisted sisters filling my thoughts keeping

me busy for years.

The first fear of abandonment I wish you far well I leave you on the rocks of the Isle of Skye. Take your tortured self into the ocean and disappear from view

you might think you can visit from time to time but I am cutting you off.

I am not alone even if at times I will be lonely or may never have another mate. I will be okay. I have friends I love dearly and they will not leave me behind to dwell with you on that Isle.

Dear sister fear of rejection you are a fond acquaintance you have visited my life many times in the past

you have held me back from many people and occasions that might have added value because you would whisper in my ear. they will not like you you are not worthy.

I cast you away from me far to the north where I will not visit you anymore. Yes I might be rejected but I will glory in the fact that I loved and kept trying and kept getting up again. My friends will not reject me or leave me up north with you.

Sister fear of lack of love goodbye. I have been loved but yet you have come in and tried to make an alliance with the other fears. I will not fear someone not loving me again. I will just love and let it be. Go far away from me. You are the most selfish because as I have listened to you I haven't reached out at times. Thank God you weren't as strong as your sisters.

Low self esteem goodbye. There is only one of me and I am unique. I may never have it all together but damn it I am going to value myself from now on. You have been my constant companion and you have had my most attention, but not anymore. I am starving you out. I will encourage and love myself in order that I may love and encourage others in this life. I break down the barricades you have erected to hold me back watch me go.

The last sister insecurity you are a gift from my parents. An unwelcome sister. There is not reason for you anymore. Life is uncertain that is true but that is what makes it wonderful. I will not be insecure anymore I will value whatever comes and enjoy each day. I will know that I will be okay.

Goodbye my friends I know that aspects of you all will linger for a time but I will be free of you. I must in order to live the life I now want to live and to care and love others how I want to love them. To pour out and be open, warm compassionate and enjoy my life. To SEIZE THE DAY CARPE DIEM.