Holding On Tightly

2007 Was learning to let go of people

Long ago I learned as a child that love slips away

Or maybe it never visited that place but was an illusion

I told myself that my life would be okay

when I was a grownup everything would be fine

the world was mine to conquer

all would be as I planned

The pain of my childhood would fade away

the parents who not illmeaning but frequently unkind

lost in their own wounded ways

left their wounds on my soul as well

When I am a grown up I will hold on tightly

to what is mine

It won't be neglected or abused

if need i will bring out the twine

and keep it all wrapped up and safe for me alone

but so far in life it has eluded my hands

love is too fluid and can't be on demand

it comes and goes and sometimes we know not why

it brings us great joy

and can make us break down inside.

So late in my life I am letting go of my adult made plans

I will anticipate its return when it has fertile ground

to grow and breathe and lift its face to the sky

i will caress love and enjoy it but stop

holding on tight