That Day.

That day was beautiful.
There were winds but there was also a calm.
There was an innocent me waiting to see someone.
Then she came ......

The winds were slow but my heart beat fast.
I tried to talk and talk out of my heart.
I waited for an opportunity to come
But there was none......

Then came that time, I was ready to talk.
while I was about to say, she left me in that way.
I followed her and said 'you are the one'.
Body shivered, hands trembled and everything
became out of focus.
only thing I could see was her....

Now was her turn, 'impossible' she said.
I am possible I heard.
But with time she faded away.
And I lost her in that way.....

I know that's past.
But everytime I move forward,
Present has to struggle with the past.
So I remain where I am.
struggling to move forward.
Struggling to live.
struggling to exist.....

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

"I know that's past.
But everytime I move forward,
Present has to struggle with the past.
So I remain where I am. "
Some wisdom in your words. Sometime does feel like we are going backwards. Hard to see results. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Jamsheed Shafi]

THANKS A LOT FRIEND

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Shafi for writing these wonderful lines that show the shyness but when we love maybe we have to be bold sometimes, lovely poem...

[C. Rose]

A deep concept. Consider bringing back the WIND imagery in the second half, perhaps link her fading away to the wind and link struggle to struggling against the wind. Right now it feels like you dropped the image of the wind.

[Ruth]

Sometimes moving forward is hard when our hearts want to stay grounded in a certain someone...beautiful imagery and wonderful emotion involved xo

[Tasfia Islam]

Its really good.... keep it up.... I'll be waiting to read more from you... :)

[Avinash]

Written straight from the heart. You are unlikely to get true love in your first try. Love is inside you and the person who deserves it will automatically know.

[Confuser]

I really enjoyed it. So sad, your message came across clearly. Thank you.

[jo]

I like the poem and the story, the flow as well and ja such similar story does happen once in a while in real life, but I loved it good piece of poem .
Jo.

[AprilRN1210]

Sometimes people come into our lives that affect us in many ways.. they can help us see things in ourselves, they can make us feel things we never thought possible, they can make us want things we never thought about before. Sometimes opportunities come and sometimes they pass us by when we are unable to act when the time comes.. When this happens we are left with the "what if's" and the "if only's".. it can eat away at our sanity and our resolve.. The mixture of emotion, reflection, and storyline made this one moving and honest.. The way you left some things to the imagination and ambiguous made it somewhat thought-provoking and open for interpretation..

two small suggestions, just my opinion, for what it is worth..

(Then came she...... )... stumbled here, would rearrange and say, "then she came"...

(only thing I could see was she..... )... stumbled here as well.. would change "she" to "her".. flows better in my head that way.. again these are just my opinion... overall nice job.

[Jamsheed Shafi]

Thanks April for such a review.
KEEP SUGGESTING ME WHEREVER YOU FEEL ITS NOT UPTO THE POINT.read moreThanks April for such a review.
KEEP SUGGESTING ME WHEREVER YOU FEEL ITS NOT UPTO THE POINT.
YOUR SUGGESTIONS ALREADY INCORPORATED.
THANK YOU.
JAMSHEED

[Mayank]

I really can't say anything because I have never gone through such phase in my life, but god bless you if you are going through one and lemme tell you golden rule - DO NOT WAIT.