my confession.

yes,you are there everywhere.
whenever I open my eyes in the morning,you are the first thought of my mind.
you are the last thought I could ponder upon before sleeping.
I remember you as frequently as I breathe.
I remember you even when I think I ain't remembering anything.
Looking at the mirror is now a special thing for me.
It's not me who is there , it's you, only you.
Now I smile & smile often without any reason,but the reason is you,only you.
Yes ,I feel you whenever my heart beats.
While walking I don't see my shadow now , I see u ,only you.
I see in others a part of you.
yes you are there everywhere.
yes you are there everywhere...

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the strength in the description and the hope in the words. The poem allowed the reader to figure out what the "You" was in the poem. It felt more spiritual in tone than love. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[SaYNe T0p1x]

Nice Work my Friend!!
Very poignant and touching.
The ebbing and flow of your Words are definitely there and felt.
I took the 'You' in this piece of to mean what the reader at the time deems it to mean,
whether it be a religious sentiment, a loved one, a close pet or a very dear drinking buddy.
It works in any way the reader reads.

I like that the subject writes, "now I smile & smile often without any reason."
This suggests to me that it is not a love gone bad (or the drinking buddy finding a new bar to drink at)...
-but it tells me that it is not as heartbreaking as I first thought it to be. The subject is consumed entirely with this mystery 'you", yet it's a comforting feeling, not a thing that causes despair..

Lovely and well written, Jamsheed, do keep up the great work.

SaYNe

[Jamsheed Shafi]

Thanks a lot dear friend.

[Lola_Bee]

love is a strong emotion and you display it beautifully. well done on this lovely piece

[jo]

Love the poem it would make anyone feel so loved
"whenever I open my eyes in the morning,you are the first thought of my mind.
you are the last thought I could ponder upon before sleeping."
Loved these lines very romantic

[Jamsheed Shafi]

thanks a lot friend.

[Prabha Salimath]

Shafi you are confessing very beautifully through the poem. The poem is sweet and beautiful I really like the way you explained the girl in every second of day. Every girl would like to have a guy someone like this. I liked it.

"I remember you even when I think I
amn't remembering anything.
looking at the mirror is now a
special thing for me."

This is the best part I feel.

[Jamsheed Shafi]

thanks prabha.
happy that u liked it.

[Sami Khalil]

"now I smile & smile often without any reason.but the reason is you. only you.
yes I feel u whenever my heart beats. "

A sweet poem and sentiments. Bravo..........................

[priya]

A wonderful start Shafi.. its beautiful, the way you express it..on a side note, i would recommend if you dont use shortforms.. have a wonderful time in writerscafe.. :)

[Jamsheed Shafi]

thanks priya.
thanks for d suggestion.

[priya]

my pleasure Jamsheed.. :)

[Dipanjan Dutta]

Hey Shafi, that's brilliant...liked it a lot

[Jamsheed Shafi]

thanks a lot.

[Confuser]

Love songs; not in the mood, but sweet. I couldn't imagine writing a love song. Maybe I'll try. Maybe you can read my silliness too. Thank you J. Shafi. I hope you do fall in love and feel this way someday. Life goes by in the blink of an eye.

[Confuser]

I still like it. I copied a poem of yours yesterday, to re-read and it is of a similar theme. Try to get something back soon. Busy with holidays. Got to go get my son - think he fell asleep in the bath/shower/so I'm knocking. Good bye.

[Confuser]

I came to read a new poem; started at the top. I'll look over your work. Thank you. Hope you're doing well!

[norafb]

Really nice poem. Very straightforward and I love that about it. Keep it going :)