Re Cap

Just a little short story to get me started came up with it on a slow afternoon its pretty self explanatory. All comments are welcome.

My name is Carl Stone I am 24 years of age its 4 months after the initial breakout and I am yet to see another 'living' human being cross my path.
It's hard to remember what life used to be like before all this happened even though I can't remember I imagine it had to be so much easier I have decided
to start recording my daily events in the hope that when all this is 'cured' or simply goes away whether I live to see that or not is another question
that is why i am doing this. When it first happened it was chaos people were screaming towards the sky, cursing their god or plainly just not caring what happened
because everything seemed so lost in that fraction of a second when the breakout occurred. Myself I ran and I didn't stop for what seemed like weeks and weeks
when I finally did stop I had a chance to look around at the carnage and destruction that had took place I remember the sun was shining as if to accentuate all
the horrors that lay before my eyes, dead bodies, strewn entrails, the living dead gorging on the poor souls that had once been alive and full of life, the poor
souls who once had normal 9 - 5 jobs, normal bills to pay and normal kids to feed. Normality is no more. Overtaken by the will to survive (or not), overtaken
by these 'beasts' these mindless dead creatures who only care where their next morsel of food comes from by whatever means necessary. In a way that's the only
thing we have in common with them 'the need to feed' the only difference is we prefer it out of sealed packets or tins not dripping off the dead arm of a
loved one (for now anyway). I've been on my own from the start its easier that way no one to look out for or care about it..... or grieve for. That's the main reason
I decided to go it alone (that and the fact that after the first day my friends and family were either dead or missing). It's 4.40am right now until tomorrow this
is Carl Stone signing off and hoping he has the chance to start day 2 of his recordings.

Reviews

[Woody]

Delmar Cooper said it well. I'll only add that what mainly bothered me was the breaks in every other line but that must be a glitch in the machine you wrote this on.
having said that, I indeed enjoyed your intriguing story about a fantasy that is all too believable.
well done.

[jo]

I have also just started writing, but you write more than I can all of your poems are nicely written I like all the poems. Thanks for sharing them.

Jo.

[Delmar Cooper]

Jamie,
Thanks for sharing. With a very short story there are always comments about brevity, as if it was a flaw. Brevity is an end of its own. I do think a reader would be more fully drawn into Carl's situation with a bit more information early on about the nature of the calamity. Having said that please don't think it takes away from the emotions you quickly develope in the character. Some paragraph breaks, a few basic punctuation fixes and a couple of verb tense corrections would help a reader appreciate your work.