[untitled] part one

this is a story of a woman who helps a boy

He was in the woods when I saw him crying while on my morning jog.

"what is wrong little one?" I asked concerned

He looked a little shocked when I asked him this as if no one had ever asked him that. I continued to look at him trying to figure out if he was hurt or not. He had lots of bruises and scraps all over his face, and I was worried there would be more under neath his clothes.

"I..I..who are you?" He stammered

"I am Alice dear child and who might you be" I asked him this, but still not forgetting my first question which he had still not answered.

"I'm Jack" He replied

"Well hello there Jack are you hurt" I asked

"Yes" He simply replied

"Where" I asked him

"Everywhere" He said and then started sobbing

I grabbed him into a long and gentle hug, and tried to sooth him as best as to my abilities. I then kissed him gently on the head and cradeled him in my arms. After a few minutes of him crying into my shirt I pressed him tightly against me and then slowly got up.

"It's going to be okay Jack I will make it okay" I gently told him

"Why are you being so nice to me?" He asked

"Why wouldn't I" I asked him

"Because no body is nice to me my fater says I am worthless" He replies

"Sweety your not worthless. Why would your dad say something like that?" I whisper to him

"Because he hates me" He replies

As I realized something I asked him a very serious question.

"Jack did your father do this to you?" I asked extremly concerned

"Ye.. ye..yes" He managed to chock out between sobs

"Dose he hurt you alot?" I asked with sadness and anger welling up inside me

"Yes all the time" He say

He tells me all about how his mom died in an accident and his dad takes out the anger and sadness out on him. He also tells me that he dosn't ever wanna go home to him again, and I start to think I should take him in. I have always wanted a son.

"Whould you like to live with me'' I ask him

He looks up at me and says "yes"

I take him home and give him my spare bedroom, but he sleeps in my bed with me because he still has nightmares about his dad. I still worry about him, but he seems to be getting better, and with time I think we can be a wonderful family.

 

Author's Note

really bad ending i know. suggestions please. And for thouse of you wondering It just kinda came to me so I wrote it all down.

Reviews

[Mandi]

Work on spelling and punctuation. It's really important that the story had no errors.
It wasn't all that bad as you make it out to be. It's very sad and I could feel for the boy. Keep working on it and it could become better...:) oh and just think about if you walked up to a little boy crying what you would do and that would help. I would do the same thing though...

[Emily B]

We should always tell stories about people who help people. Those are the best stories I know.

[Collect-Eye]

I just saw this today. Somehow I overlooked it before.
beautiful story Jamie.

I thought the ending was marvelous.

[Vansgirlrocks]

OMG its soooo adorable!
aww I fell bad for Jack
I wanna take him home!
Maybe you should
describes how jack looks like
so very one has a good picture of him

[moon manmad]

I dont think the ending is bad at all. I think what's missing is the boy's lack of trust in a stranger (even though she's a woman and not likely to hurt him) and the woman's kindness teaching him that it's safe to trust her. or something like that. good story, at any rate.