voicemail

Unspoken yearning, left quiet.

Hey, Dad!
Look at me,
The little big boy who used to be
Your carbon copy.
Now I'm patching myself with the good things
That you have never done for me.

Hey, Mom!
How's it going?
The separation greatly ruined me--
Sorrow’s dew on my face
When you packed your bags
And got out of the pits of cruelty
And betrayal’s wilted gates.

Look at me now, Dad & Mom.
How tall I've become,
How thick-built I am --
That’s for the incoming punches
That might get thrown at me.
I just had to be ready.

I learned how to cook,
I learned how to write essays
From the documentaries and books
That I got from the web.
And at late night, we face.
Probably the proudest thing
That I've learned through my flickering youth,
Without any manuals or guide--
How to be alone.

You see, as I flew through my golden turbulence,
No one was willing to give their selfless service.
Family? A hollow hearth.
Friends? Wintered bonds.
Me? A kid whose steel-bound grace
Shielded from the sharp swords.

I aged alone.
My hair has no evidence
That help was ever needed.
My hands have the scrapes and scratches
From the hell’s grasp they heralded.
My eyes saw the tragic cadence--
The hurting, the missteps, the misery.

I’m fine--really.
That’s how I grew up to be.
Never mind the bullets, the bruises.
I just want to see where I’ll be
When I live the life of my bloodwoven harvest.

It’s okay, Mom & Dad.
I’m a grown man.
I don’t need your embrace,
I don’t need your advice.
Sure, it could’ve been my silent salvation,
My anchor.
But seeing it all now,
My unfinished symphony cascaded in my favor.

Author's Note

Based on the actual voicemail I sent my parents, whom I grew up in the absence of what should have been given freely: love, guidance, and security.

To anyone who has ever had to raise themselves, to build armor where there should have been warmth—this is for you.

Reviews

[Soren]

Powerful! Haunting and well written with a strong sense of guilt being sent to the parents. A very personal format with some great images and lines "bloodwoven harvest, sorrow's dew, betrayal's wilted gates". Very nice.

[Acerous Lee]

Thank you, Soren! This means so much to me.