Chapter 13

 

 

 

I didn’t like the way I was feeling, I sat at my desk trying to figure out what to do, how to talk to Thomas about what I wanted. Most of all right now, I just wanted to talk to some one, some one who understood me. That some one couldn’t’ be Thomas. Everything was happening so fast, too fast. How much of myself was I willing to give up to be with him? Was I willing to give up my hopes of finishing school and becoming a teacher, was I willing to give up my dreams of being on the Olympic Swim Team and going to London? Even more profound, was I willing to give up who I am, to be his mate? Is that really, what I wanted? Right now, I didn’t have a clue, the only thing I did know for sure am I had to be to work in a few hours.

Considering where I work, I was dreading telling him, I was sure that he wouldn’t like it. It had never bothered James. James knew I wasn’t going to fool around on him, especially with anyone from work. It was a job, that simple, a job I made good money at for as little as I worked. I could make in three days what most of the women my age would make in a full week’s worth of work, between tips and my paycheck. So, I lived in a studio apartment in The Village, it was by choice for the most part, I could still be living on campus, but I’d bought my apartment on my own, it was mine, my name was on the contract, no one else’s.

I looked over to Thomas still asleep on the bed, a skiff of sheet covering his manhood, part of me wanted to wake him up creatively, and part of me wanted to let him sleep so I’d have this time to myself to think about it all. I got up and walked to the kitchen, I quietly put away the dishes I’d done earlier. I opened the fridge, pulling out a cup of yogurt, I found a spoon heading back into the living room, I sat down on the sofa sideways, Indian style, I was eating my yogurt slowly, glancing back over to Thomas on occasion as I started sorting through everything that had happened in the last couple of days. I finished off my yogurt, got up headed back to the kitchen to put the spoon in the sink; I tossed the empty container in the trashcan as I walked by.

I decided to pop over to see if Andy was home, he probably wasn’t, but he was the closest thing I had a best girlfriend, he and Nick had been together for going on five years now. About six months ago, I took a weekend off to go with them to Connecticut when he and Nick got married. It was a beautiful ceremony, his dress was of course designer, one of the perks of living so very close to the boutiques here in The Village was being able to pick up low end designer clothing for not as much as you’d pay for their more expensive lines. He was indeed a blushing bride, and wore white. Andy was slight in build, and easily fit into a size nine, though he was a bit taller than the average woman of the same build was and weight was. He’d worn his long brunette hair done up in a dramatic up-do. I’d helped him with his make up; it was my job as his maid of honor. We’d gone to pick out his dress together, we had booked the boutique for the afternoon, champagne and finger sandwiches of salmon, cucumber, dill and cream cheese topped the fare that afternoon. I couldn’t remember when I’d had as much fun.

I’d confided in Andy about my true nature, I knew that he would never tell anyone. I had been so depressed at the time about home. I missed everyone terribly, just wanting to connect to one person here on a higher level, some one I could talk to about everything, Andy just seemed the perfect candidate, I didn’t have to worry about him falling in love with me, and he was already truly in love with Nick, besides I really wasn’t his type. I had to chuckle aloud as that crossed my mind. Andy and I were best girlfriends in every sense of the word.

Andy and Nick lived around the corner from me, in the apartment next to Mr. Jenkins, theirs was larger than mine was, it was a two bedroom, with an eat in kitchen. They had lived in the apartment for the last five years, during which Andy finished high school, going on to college at NYU, he was a Liberal Arts major, mostly he wrote poetry, hoping one day to get discovered by the powers that be. As such, he and I had several classes together over the course of our college careers since I was an English major who was hoping to become a teacher at the college level when I graduated.

I threw on my warm up suit, heading over to their apartment. I stood at the door for a moment, then knocked and tried the knob, it was open, I let myself in, we always let ourselves in to each other’s apartments, I’m not sure how it began, it was just what we did.

“Andy, Nick, either of you home?” I raised my voice so they could hear me from the other rooms.

Andy emerged from the bedroom in a sheer robe over a long, black silk nightgown. It wasn’t unusual to find him clad this way, even in the middle of the day, he was proud of how feminine his body was. He really did have a better body than many of the women I know, which was very impressive considering my job.

“Hello dear,” Andy said, his voice was soft. You could definitely tell he was the woman of the house. “How are you, would you like an espresso?”

“Sure” I responded, a small smile playing at the corners of my mouth. “As for how I’ve been, I’m not sure” I let out a sigh, plopping into hanging chair that flanked the leather sofa in the center of the room. I loved this chair; it hung from a strong hook in the ceiling, definitely not something you sat in if you were carrying a few extra pounds. The chair made me feel as if I was floating. Andy came back in with two small cups on saucers in his delicate hands; he offered me one before setting his own on the coffee table.

“You look down sweetie, what’s up?” Andy asked me.

I took a small sip of my espresso, placing it on the end table beside the chair. “I’m not sure Andy, It’s all so confusing.”

“What do you mean, everything ok with you and James?”

I realized that I hadn’t talked to Andy in a couple of day.

“No, James caught me in a compromising position night before last, as a result, “a small sigh escaped, “We’re not together anymore.”

“I’m so sorry Amy, is there anything I can do?” his concern was genuine; this was something I knew from the depths of my heart. Andy just loved me for me, not in any romantic way, more like a little sister. He was warm, understanding, and everything he said came from his heart. There were times I wondered how this man survived high school considering the way jocks think and act towards anyone they felt marched to a different drum. Andy was the embodiment of marching to a different drum.

“I don’t think so, it’s over between James and I, “I shrugged, “there is no going back now considering…” I looked down at the floor trying to find the words to describe what had happened. “Do you remember when I told you about Thomas?” I asked him.

“Yes, I remember, you described him as absolutely yummy, how could I forget?” he chuckled.

I smiled, “He is absolutely yummy.” I chirped.

Andy arched a well plucked eyebrow at me” What do you mean is?” he asked, “I thought you’d not seen him since high school?”

“I hadn’t, nor did I think I would,” I stated, “Until Monday when he called me to let me know he was going to come visit me here in New York.”

“Oh really?” he said excitedly, “You mean he’s here in town?” This moved Andy from a reclining position on the sofa, to sitting upright, scooting closer to me as if wanting in depth details of what was going on. He was such a busybody, but he wasn’t a gossip. Anything I told him would remain between he and I that was just Andy, maybe it was because of his sexual orientation, maybe it was because he was a cross-dresser, or maybe it was just another part of his somewhat offbeat as my own genetic code, who knows. We were both creatures out of water, one figuratively, and one literally.

“Yes, he’s in town.” I tried to smile, failing miserably.

“There’s that look again, from everything you’ve told me, you should be on top of the world that he’s here sweetie.” Andy looked at me for a long moment, “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, or am I going to have to drag out every detail from you dear?”

“I’m sorry, I actually came over to see if you were home because I needed some one to talk to, and it’s just more difficult than I thought it would be.” This time I smiled in earnest.

“So, tell your big sister what’s up, maybe I can help somehow.” he said.

“Remember back to when I decided to move off campus?” I asked, “How excited I was about starting my life for myself?”

He nodded as I continued to speak.

“I was so proud of myself for having been able to do it for myself.” I shrugged slightly. “Suddenly, it seems like maybe I got too independent.”

“Oh Honey, you can never be too independent.” he said, he reached over and took my hand with his; I couldn’t help but notice he had a fresh French Manicure. There are times I wished I could pull off that kind of look half as well as he did.

“Can’t you?” I looked up at him; he motioned for me to come join him on the sofa so we could sit closer together while we spoke. I reached for my cup and saucer, moving to the other side of him on the sofa. I leaned my head against his shoulder; he put a loving arm around me to comfort me.

“I’ve changed so much Andy, I’m not the same girl that left,” I said, I could feel my eyes starting to burn hot with tears, I knew it was a matter of time before they’d slide down my cheeks forming small trails.

I gave Andy a blow-by-blow recount of what had been going on for the last couple of days, not leaving out any details, including the fact that I was finally able to get my tail to appear, and that I’d learned to breath underwater. He sat listening, holding my hand softly in his, nodding, listening. His eyes grew wide with excitement as I talked about my tail appearing.

“I’m so proud of you Sweetie, finally getting your tail.” He smiled at me, “I knew that bothered you a lot that you didn’t have one.”

“Would you like to see it?” I asked.

“Oh, that would be wonderful, but I don’t want to ask you to do anything that might hurt you.” he said.

“It doesn’t hurt as much as it did when I first tried.” I said. I got up, taking off my warm up pants, sliding them to the floor, I then slipped my thong off, I still wasn’t sure what would happen with clothes on if I did it. I sat back down, moving against the opposite arm of the sofa, so that my legs were on the seat, I closed my eyes for a second, calling the spell, when I reopened them, my tail was there.

“May I touch it?” Andy asked cautiously.

“Sure.” I smiled at him. He moved his soft, delicate hand to the lower part of my tail, stroking the scales ever so lightly. He only wanted to confirm that it was real I think. “Wow, it’s not rough like I thought it might be” He said.

“No, it’s not rough,” I smiled at him. I didn’t even close my eyes, I just called the spell, and my legs were back. I put my pants back on readjusting them so they were comfortable, sitting back down beside him.

“I’m so jealous! I wish I could do something that wonderful.” He stated.

“The tail is the least of my problems right now Andy,” I sighed, my brow furrowed. I could feel it, though Mer don’t wrinkle.

He looked up at me, his eyes full of concern, “Ok.”

“Thomas and I still seem to have the magic we always did over each other.” I said, “But, how much of myself, of my life should I give up to be with him Andy?”

“What do you mean Sweetie?” he asked.

“I mean I’ve built this life for myself, I have my apartment, my job, my school, my practices for the school swim team and for the Olympic Swim Team, how much of that do I give up to be with Thomas?” I asked, “He brought up moving this morning. It angered and frightened me. It may not be huge or extravagant, but my apartment is mine, it’s a part of who I am now.”

He nodded understandingly.

“I’m just not sure I want to give that up.” I could feel the tears warm against my cheeks, working their way to my chin.

Andy hugged me tenderly, just holding me for that moment. “You’re afraid of the change Sweetie. Everything has to change or life gets boring.,” he said, trying to cheer me up.

I nodded, “I know that things have to change.”

“Then what’s the problem, if you know that it has to happen.” he asked earnestly.

“I hinted at the fact I didn’t want to leave The Village, his response was what if he bought me a bigger place here in The Village.” I shrugged.

“Does he realize what kind of money he’s talking about Sweetie?” Andy asked.

“I don’t know, I don’t even know where he’s getting his money at this point.” I said throwing my hands up in the air. “I know his family has money, they are part of the royal line from the other grotto, or it’s possible that my grandmother might be footing the bill to get me home for some reason. I honestly don’t know.”

“Do you want to go home Sweetie?” he asked.

“Why should I go home?” I looked up at him I could feel the anger biting at me, “They didn’t seem to want me around when I was there.”

“I can relate Sweetie, that doesn’t mean they don’t love you though.” I knew that he was speaking from experience; he and his parents only recently mended the fences in their relationships. I remembered all the time he’d spent at my place during that time, worried about it.

“I understand that, I didn’t feel much loved before I left home though.” I said. “And certainly not by my grandmother, who now seems to want me there.”

“What has Thomas asked you to give up other than suggesting that with the two of you, you find a bigger place to live?” Andy asked.

“Nothing,” I sighed.

“So, everything you’ve done you’ve made a conscious choice of doing since he’s been here?”

I nodded, “I guess I have.”

“Sweetie, if he offered to buy a place for you, then it doesn’t sound like you alone are going to have to afford anything.” Andy said, “It sounds like he wants to take care of you.”

“You’re probably right.” I said in agreement. “I guess I’m just scared is all.”

“I’d say you’ve got nothing to be scared of dear. He asked you to marry him, right? Andy questioned. “Then he suggested a bigger place at his expense, even offering to keep you here in The Village, if this is where you wanted to live.”

I nodded; I was starting to understand what Andy was getting at. Thomas didn’t want me to give up anything, only to consider moving so that there was room for us to be together. “Thank you,” I smiled in earnest. I hugged Andy close. “You always seem to help me feel better.”

“I’m happy to have been of assistance,” he said, a smile breaking across his lips as well. We laughed.

“What am I going to do when I can’t just walk across the hall and come see you?” I said.

“You might have to actually grab a cab.” He jokingly said. “Now, finish that espresso”

I did, taking the rest in one drink; it was more than cool enough by now. I got up, as did Andy, he walked me to the door.

“Thanks again.” I turned back to Andy giving him a gentle hug.

“You know you’re always welcome Sweetie.” He replied.

I stepped out into the hall, heading back to my own apartment.

 

Chapter Thirteen