The Search for the Crazy Man

His family said that he needed to be normal. They tried to help Bradley but he ran off when he was 15 years old. Sasha remembered what Bradley’s family had told her. She was walking through the busy halls of Lake Shore High School. Sasha was hired by Bradley’s family because she is a social worker that works with troubled adults. His family selected her because she graduated with a master’s degree in social services with an emphasis on mental disorders.

            “Can anyone tell me who Bradley is?” she asked in a loud voice.

            “Sure, I can tell you,” a bouncy teenager said. “He’s the janitor who’s afraid of ice.”

            “Thanks. Where can I find him?” Sasha asked with a pleased tone. She didn’t think it would be this easy to find him.

            “You should check his car, it’s a Dodge. He’s probably listening to “Carried Away.” He hides in his car because most of the kids like to throw ice at him when he goes to clean up some mess,” the boy said with a laugh.

            “Do you laugh at him, too?” Sasha asked the boy. “I could bet you are one of the main kids that pick on him. Am I right?”

            “I did at first, but then I started talking to him and got to know him. He’s really a nice guy,” the kid said hanging his head. “Come on. I’ll take you to him.”

            Sasha had to find Bradley. His family sent her to help try and become a little more normal. She remembered the other things they said. The doctors had never seen anything like it. They didn’t know what it was or why he was this way. All they could say is that he needed to be well cared for. His parents tried to tell him that he should stay with them so they could care for him, but he ran away when they tried to help. She went over all the information that she was given, trying to piece it all together.

            “Well, here we are. It looks like he isn’t out here though,” the teenager interrupted her thoughts.

            “Where else could he be?” she asked. “It is absolutely necessary that I find him.”

            “The only other place I know of is an office in the janitorial closet. If he doesn’t hide in his car, he is usually in there watching Matilda. He told me that it’s his favorite movie,” my guide said. “By the way, my name is Billy.”

            “Thank you for helping me Billy. I really appreciate it,” Sasha said with a smile.

            “Why are you so interested in finding Bradley?” Billy asked curiously.

            “I really can’t tell you that, Billy. I’m sorry.” Sasha said hoping he would leave it alone.

            “Oh okay. I understand. Well, here is the closet. Let me go in first and make sure he is in there.  You wait here,” he nonchalantly went through the door.

            Sasha just stood there waiting. She kept going over everything she was told about Bradley, all the issues he had.  They told her that he never seemed like himself. He was a great kid until he hit the teenage years and then he started acting like he was just a little kid. They didn’t know what to do to help him or if there was anything. She had to go over all the information several times to make sure she had the best understanding of Bradley’s issues. She was jarred from her thoughts by Billy, the bouncy teenager.

            “He is in here. He told me to have you come in, but he’s not happy about it,” Billy poked his head out the door. “Come on. Let’s go, he won’t wait all day.”

            Sasha opened the door and walked in. It looked like a maze made up of different industrial cleaners. She followed Billy to the back of the closet, and he knocked on the door. They waited a minute and then entered the small office.  Sasha walked in to find a muscular, decent looking guy of about 24 years old. She was surprised at what she saw; she thought that she would find someone who looked very thin and almost unhealthy. This made her think that maybe there was nothing wrong with him at all and his family just wanted him home so they could keep him from the world.  

            “Are you Bradley?” Sasha asked trying to be professional.

            “Yeah, maybe. It depends on who you are and why you are here,” he said in a voice that sounded like that of a child.

            “My name is Sasha Jones. I was hired to help you,” she said this wanting to be completely truthful with him.

            “Who sent you to find me? Was it my family? Get out I don’t want or need your help,” he was getting upset just like a child would.

            “Your family did send me and they do want to help you,” Sasha kept herself calm. She had never seen anything like this before.

            “I told you to get out!” Bradley was getting more upset and looked as though he could get violent.

            Sasha hurried out and ran to her car. She had never seen anyone get that upset and it scared her. This is going to be harder than I thought, she told herself. She had to figure out what she was going to do.  Obviously being truthful with him wasn’t going to work. She didn’t have a choice; he already knew that his family sent her. Sasha decided to go back to her hotel and brainstorm for ideas. She had nothing at this point.

            Meanwhile, back in the little office, Billy was trying to calm Bradley down before he went into overload and had a nervous breakdown. 

            “Bradley, you need to calm down. She seems like a nice person and she told me that she just wanted to talk to you,” Billy was trying with all his might to calm his friend down.

            “Billy, you aren’t supposed to side against me. I don’t care if she seems like a nice person or if she just wanted to talk to me. She was sent by my family; that makes her a bad person. Remember what I told you about my family; they were terrible to me,” Bradley was roaring this at Billy.

            All Billy could do was leave the office and hope that Bradley would calm himself down. Billy knew that Bradley had several issues and hoped that he wouldn’t do anything to harm himself. Billy realized that Bradley had been hiding in the office because it was really breezy outside and he didn’t like that. He hated the breezy weather almost as much as he hated ice. Billy had to keep him here and keep him safe.

            When Sasha got back to her room, she called his family and told them that she found and met him. She told them everything that happened. She said that she had to brainstorm ideas and find a way to get him to talk to her and tell her what he thought was going on with him. They told her to keep trying because she had to get him home to them. After she got off the phone with them she decided to go for a run. That always helped her come up with ideas for things she needed to do.

            Back in the office, Bradley had started to calm himself down. He sat down at the desk and tried to figure out what to do. Part of him was like a child and the other part was like that of an adult. It was as if he had a split personality and he didn’t know how to deal with it. The adult side of him could think fairly logically, and seemed to be taking over at this point. His thoughts were going and going. How could they have found me? I thought I covered my tracks well enough to keep them from finding me. If I could just disappear, they would never be able to find me. Where can I go? Maybe I should leave the country. Oh, I don’t know. I will figure something out. Bradley decided to quit thinking about it and continued to watch his movie.

            Sasha went for her run; she ran for an hour but couldn’t come up with any ideas. She went back to her room, showered and sat at the desk. I can’t believe that I have no ideas. Maybe I should wait a couple of days and then go back. Yes, I think that would be best. I will go back in a couple of days and try to talk to him again. She about her business making notes about the quick meeting with Bradley. She didn’t want to leave anything out. She decided she should make notes about Billy as well. She had to figure out how everything pieced together. She made a list of what she needed to do. She realized that she didn’t get Billy’s last name and wasn’t sure that she would be able to find him when she went back to the school. She would have to try. That was the only thing she could was to try.

            Bradley hung out in his little office and contemplated whether he should leave the country or just try to leave the state. It would be easier to just leave the state, he thought. I don’t think I have the ability to leave the country. I will just leave and keep going until I find somewhere that I like. Yeah, that’s a great idea. I will leave tomorrow before Sasha can come back and try to get me to go back to my family. I know that’s what she is trying to do. I can’t tell Billy because I know he will tell her where I am going and then she will find me again. I better get home and pack my stuff. If I hide out there, I can make a run for it before anyone can realize that I am missing. I have to make sure I don’t leave anything behind. Wait, maybe I should leave a note telling Billy that I had to leave and ask him not to say anything to Sasha. I know he won’t if I ask him.

            Bradley packed up the few things he had in the office and set them on the desk. He left the office and walked through the maze of cleaners to the entrance of the closet. He decided that he should check to make sure everyone had left the school so he could get out without getting picked on. He opened the door a little and peaked out and saw that there was no one left.  He went back to his office and grabbed his stuff. He made his way back to the quiet halls of Lake Shore High; he followed the halls to the back entrance. He was unsure of how he was going to get to his car because of the breezy weather. He waited at the door for a minute as he saw a couple of kids run passed his car. After he watched them keep going and knew they were gone, he hurried out to his car. He opened the door and just tossed his stuff in the passenger seat. He realized after he got in his car that he hadn’t left a note for Billy. Oh well, he thought, it would have been no use anyway. He drove to his apartment that he shared with Joe, a local college student. His roommate was gone for a couple of weeks so he had no issues just leaving. He got there and left his stuff in the car. He hurried up the stairs so he could get his stuff packed and get out of the town. He went into the apartment and found it empty like he figured. He went to his bedroom and pulled out his two suitcases. He started packing all of his belongings into them. He got the first one full and rushed down to his car and put it in the trunk. He race back up to the apartment to get the other one filled. He went to the living room and grabbed all of the things that belonged to him. He was barely able to stuff everything he owned into his suitcases. He dragged the second suitcase down the stairs to his car and tossed in the trunk with the other.

            Bradley went back upstairs to the apartment and the phone rang just as he walked through the door. Who could that be? He thought to himself. He decided not to answer it and just let the answering machine pick it up.

            As the machine picked up he heard, “Hey Bradley, its Joe. I know you are probably still at work but I’m getting ready to head back to town. I’ll be there in a couple of hours.” He thought to himself, I’ll explain everything to him when he gets back. He won’t care if I leave; he’ll just have his girlfriend move in. I’ll hang out until he gets back and tell him what’s going on and then I’ll leave first thing in the morning. He just hung watching television for a while.  A couple of hours later, Joe came home and saw that Bradley had packed everything up. Bradley explained everything to Joe and nothing else was said about it.  Bradley went to bed hoping the morning would come quickly.

            Meanwhile, Sasha had been vigorously working on her notes. She had decided she would go back to the school the next day and try again to talk to Bradley.  She looked at the clock and realized it was getting late. She put everything aside and went to bed, hoping she would actually sleep this night. It had been a long day and it wasn’t very good progress either. She needed to gain Bradley’s trust and wasn’t sure that she would get it. That was the most important thing to her was gaining his trust. How am I going to gain his trust? She thought to herself, wait I know. I’ll talk to Billy. He was able to get Bradley to trust him.  She slowly drifted off to sleep with that last thought on her mind.

            Bradley woke with a start as his alarm went off. He looked at the clock and it was six-thirty already. He jumped out of bed and got in the shower. He needed to make sure he had everything so that he could leave soon. He showered and dressed quickly wanting to hit the road as soon as possible. He didn’t want trouble following him anymore and this was the best he could do to get away.  He double and triple checked to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything. He left a quick note for Joe and left the apartment. He was free; getting away from his family and all the trouble they caused him. Bradley decided to make it impossible for his family to find him again.

            Sasha woke up at seven-thirty when the sun shone through her window. Oh s**t, she thought as she looked at the clock. I don’t have much time to get ready. She picked up the clock to check the alarm. Damn it the alarm didn’t set. It’s no wonder I’m running late. Sasha hurried to get her shower done and get dressed. She grabbed her notes and rushed out the door. She raced across town to the high school. She didn’t make in time to find Billy before the classes started. I guess I need to go to the front office and ask about Billy, she thought. Wait, I’ll just ask about Bradley. She raced to the front office, hoping that Bradley would be in his office.

            Sasha walked into the high school and went straight to the main office. There was no one there so she waited.  After five minutes no one came out. I can’t sit around waiting all day for someone. I will go to Bradley’s office and check for myself, she thought as she headed out of the office. She tried hard to remember where it was and how to get there. Damn it, she thought. This would be easier if Billy could show me again where to go. I’ll figure this out. Sasha thought and thought and when she figured it out, she headed for Bradley’s office in the little janitor’s closet. When she got there, she hurried inside and followed the maze of cleaners to the office itself. She knocked on the door, waited a minute, and walked in. She found the office to be completely empty. Everything Bradley had on the desk was gone. She rushed out of his office and went straight back to the main office. When she walked in there was someone sitting at the desk.

            “Can you tell me if Bradley Michaels has come in yet?” Sasha was desperate to find him again.

            “I’m sorry. I don’t know that we have a Bradley Michaels here,” the secretary wasn’t being helpful at all.

            “He’s a janitor. I spoke with him briefly yesterday and hoped to speak with him again,” Sasha tried to keep her cool.

            “Yes, he does work here; however no one has seen him since he left yesterday afternoon. I’m sorry. I can’t give you any more information than that,” she was trying to hide the worry from her face.

            “Thank you for your help,” Sasha said as she walked out the door. “How could this happen?” she mumbled to herself as she left the school. She had spent months looking for him and then when she found him he disappeared right from under everyone. She would have to start all over trying to find him. She was back at square one. No one knew where Bradley went or if he was even still alive.

           

           

           

           

 

 

Reviews

[savdbylove]

I agree with Joshua, hun. The story was, in itself, good, but there were some grammatical errors and missed words here and there. In my opinion (and I am your sister, so I am allowed to have my opinions on your works..lol) it kind of reads like you wrote it in a hurry. If you sat down and worked on it a little longer I think it would be great. It has a lot of potential to be an awesome short story.

[joshua rainbird]

Okay this story has some very good points and several problems, so please bear with me (positive stuff later):

1: The most obvious difficulty is that the ending is weak. In essence a skilled mental health worker finds who they're looking for and then loses them. The only way that this plot would work is if this is the prelude for a much longer piece.

2: Other reviewers may use the phrase 'info-dump'. It's where lots of, often unnecessary, information is pumped into a story to explain what's going on. Strive to reveal things by showing them happening, don't explain. The only exception to this rule is when characters explain things because they may impart unreliable information; - characters can lie, mislead, cover things up, and, often get things wrong.

3: The narration is inconsistent: one moment we're in Bradley's head, the next in Sasha's; the majority of the story is narrated in third person, then occassional jumps into first person; a good way to clear this up is to summarise the whole story in one short sentence - then you'll know whose story it is.

4: Character names: Bradley and Billy are half-rhymes and are therefore difficult to differentiate.

5: Each bit of speech is given an unnecessary explanation. These read like you're stage directing the characters and slows down the reader. Unless they are relevant clues to the character or plot trim them out. The reader will conjure up their own image of what's happening.

6: Repetitive words such as - stuff.

7: Joe is an unnecessary character (unless he's a major player in the next part of this story, if so - introduce him earlier).

8: The receptionist dialogue is unnecessary; it would be better just to narrate something like - the receptionist ignored her when Sasha asked after Bradley.

There were some really good bits -

1: I loved the whole ice-phobia thing but it didn't seem to go anywhere.

2: The voices of the characters came across as how real people speak.

3: Very strong hook in the first line.

Don't know whether you know this or not, so forgive me if I'm telling you how to suck eggs -

The phrase 'split personality' is a cliche for mental illness. Whilst it is the correct translation for the word 'schizophrenia' it is a poor descriptor for the condition, as schizophrenias widely vary in presentation and involve changes in personality and delusions, not seperate identities. There is a syndrome relating to multiple personalities but this is extremely rare and over-represented in literature and film.

Your best bet is to avoid diagnosis altogether, unless your characters offer it as an opinion. But I rarely listen to my own advice so here's my provisional diagnosis: Bradley presents as being regressed and neurotic, rather than psychotic.

Likewise, I would change the title to 'The Search for Bradley Michaels'; it's more enigmatic as it makes the reader want to know about the man without him being pre-packaged.

Good luck with this, you have some good ideas, the best ones are underdeveloped, but they're a bit all over the place at the moment.

Best wishes
Josh.