Sandra's Secret

“Where were you last night,” my overbearing mother asked. She always had a habit of overreacting. “I fell asleep at Jessie’s house. I’m sorry I should have called,” I stammered. I knew that I would get caught sooner or later. I didn’t want her to know what I had done, because it would be disastrous. “Sandra, you can’t just go out and do whatever you want. We have rules in this house and you are only seventeen years old. If you break the rules again, you won’t go anywhere,” she scolded. I wanted to say something back to her, but instead I just sauntered up to my room. I sat there wondering about what I was going to do; how I was going to get myself out of this mess I made. I knew I had been stupid; my mom knew I had done something stupid.

            In the midst of my thoughts, there was a knock at the door. “Sandra, we need to talk,” my dad said. My heart jumped in my throat. I knew I was done for; he always had a way of getting the truth out of me. “Come in,” I choked out, terrified. He walked in and I took a couple of deep breathes. “Sweetheart,” he started, “What is going on? You never stay out all night.” I didn’t know what to say; he was always so laid back about everything, so calm and collected. “Dad, I fell asleep at Jessie’s house. We were watching movies and lost track of time. It was an honest mistake,” I said trying to be calm. “Sandra, next time you need to call us so we know you are alright,” he said, and with that he walked out of my room. That was it; I had begun digging my own grave. However, I had yet to realize that my own hell was about to begin. Over the next month I was careful to follow my mother’s rules about when to be home, so that she would stay off my back.

            Then it happened; I began getting sick every morning with no explanation. At first I just thought it was the stomach flu, so that’s what I told my parents. After the first week, I started hiding the fact that I was constantly sick. By the end of week two, I decided something was wrong. I needed to take a pregnancy test; so I went to Jessie. I knew she would help me. “Jessie, I think I need to take a pregnancy test,” I told her with a shaky voice. “You’re kidding, right?” she asked, half laughing. I simply gave her the look of death, and she quit laughing. “Alright, I get it. This is serious; we’ll buy you a test and you can put your mind at ease,” Jessie quipped trying to keep me calm. We bought a test and Jessie took me back to her house so I could await my fate. “Jessie, I want you to wait right outside the door. It will ease my nerves a little,” I told her with a panicky voice. “Don’t worry so much, Sandra, everything will be fine,” she tried to reassure me. I hesitated for a second and forced myself to walk into the bathroom. I sat down when I got in there and tried to take a few deep breathes. After a few minutes I took the test. I thought it was the most disgusting thing I had ever done. Why would anyone want to pee on a stick?

            Then I waited for a few minutes so the test could register. “Oh go no,” I gasped to myself. The test was positive! I simply sat there and cried. After about ten minutes, Jessie knocked on the door. “Sandra, are you alright?” she asked, fear rushing over her. “I…I’m not sure,” I stammered with tears rushing down my pale cheeks. I slowly walked out of the bathroom and fell at Jessie’s feet, the shame apparent on my face. “It came back positive,” I sobbed. “Don’t worry. We will get this figured out,” Jessie said as she helped me off the cold floor. “If I tell Josh, he will say I’m making it up,” I said fearfully. “Well, Sandra, he is an a*s. You don’t need him, and he doesn’t deserve you,” she said a little defensively. Josh was the type of guy to just love ‘em and leave ‘em, so to speak.

            “What will I tell my parents? They will kick my out and disown me,” I wondered aloud. “They won’t kick you out; and if they do, you can move in with me,” Jessie assured me. “You need to call Josh and tell him, because he can at least pay child support. After that, we will get a doctor’s appointment set up for you,” she told me, taking charge and keeping me calm. “Thank you so much, Jessie. I don’t know what I would do without you,” I said wearily as some relief washed over me. I called Josh and told him; sure enough he said I was making it up; so I told him to come over to Jessie’s place and I did the test again. This time he believed me, but I knew in my heart that I would never hear from him again.

            My appointment came and went. The doctor confirmed what the test had said; now it was time to tell my parents. My parents had always liked Jessie, so I thought it would be best for her to go with me. “Jessie will you come with me to tell my parents?” I asked hesitantly. “Of course I will. Anything to keep you calm,” she said. We drove to my parents’ house and I started to panic. “Breathe, Sandra, and you will be fine,” Jessie said to calm me. We got out of the car and walked up to the house. I put my hand on the door knob and it felt cold like a dark, stone dungeon. I knew that was my fate; I would be locked away from the world.

            I slowly turned the handle and we walked in to find my parents sitting on the couch, waiting. “It’s about time you got home young lady,” my mom scolded. I looked down at my feet feeling ashamed for the secret I was about to reveal. “Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you,” I almost whispered. “Sit down and tell us, sweetheart,” my dad said calmly. I didn’t think he’d be quite so calm in a minute. I gulped some air and lowered myself into a chair. “I…I’m pregnant,” I blurted as tears started falling freely from my eyes. “You’re what?!?” my mother exclaimed with her anger building. “Get out of my house! No daughter of mine will be causing trouble like that in this house,” she screamed in anger. I wanted to run and hide where no one could find me. “Now, Alex, we can’t kick our daughter out when she needs us,” my dad calmly told my mother. “What do you mean “when she needs us”? She can figure this out by herself,” my mother argued. “Mom, you said yourself that I’m only seventeen. How could I possibly know how to handle this myself?” I tried to stand up for myself. “Why didn’t you come to us sooner, Sandra?” my dad asked.

            I spent the next ten minutes explaining that I wanted to go to the doctor first and make sure it was real and then tell them. “Alex, our daughter is staying in this house with us and we are going to help her and support whatever she decides. You can’t be so tough on her anymore,” my dad told my mom. “Sandra, what would you like to do?” my dad asked me. “I want to keep this baby. I want it to grow up knowing us as its family,” I said, knowing I was defying my mother. “Sandra, you are making a huge mistake,” my mother told my spitefully. “Yeah, well mom what would you have done if you were in my shoes?” I defied her a little more. My mother was speechless; she had nothing to say and no reason to be tough on me anymore. “Well I guess you are old enough to make decisions and I can’t say anything about it,” my mom said reluctantly, knowing that she was defeated. “Thank you, Mom, for understanding just how much I need you,” I said as I hugged her for the first time in two years. This put tears in her eyes and she realized that she had been way too hard on me over the past few years and that things could have been worse.

            My nightmare was finally over. My parents agreed to help me take care of the baby and let me stay there instead of kicking me out like my mom had tried to do.  Things weren’t as bad as I thought they were going to be and Josh of course is stuck paying child support even though he still insists that he isn’t the father.  My parents took me to all my doctor’s appointments and were really excited to be getting a granddaughter. I was able to finish high school and I have completed two years of college. Emily is three years old now and a little brat. I don’t know how I would have made it through all of this without Jessie.

            My life had gone from being great, to becoming hell and now it has leveled out. Things aren’t perfect but they work. I can’t imagine how things would have been if I had kept everything from my parents. My mom has learned to back off and be a little more laid back which is a good thing otherwise everyday would be a disaster. Everyone has to have secrets, and I had mine.

 

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

this is really nice you know how to tell a story ,in a lovely way,i found love loyalty ,distress ,how a mother and father are always forgiving ,and there to help at difficult times when the baby father has ran away,there are so wise words and meanings in this i loved it ,great work