Lost Me

Thought of it while walking home.

I was walking alone, going home

I was smiling because I just got to see you today

The next morning, bad news came

"He died of a car accident" that's what they say

I didn't believe them,I knew you were alive

I could see you every time I looked

Is this unreal or did you really survive?

I got to talk to you,I became more stubborn than ever

I kept telling people you were alive

I contradict them whenever they say your life is over

I didn't want to believe them,you know I wouldn't

I could see and talk to you,how come they couldn't?

I thought they were just playing with me and so I continued

To believe that you were here and that you weren't dead

I started to ignore people and walk with only you

Even my parents tell me that they don't know what to do

"You've gone crazy" everyone keeps saying

Another thing they say is that I'm hallucinating

I say NO ! That's not true

I knew that I was really with you

They got really upset and thought things through

There was only one thing left to do

My mom packed my bag,I wondered why

Whenever I ask her,all she does is deny

I got on the car and watched her drive

An hour later we reached a strange place

People I saw were all in white

Strapped bodies,I could feel they were tight

Mom grabbed my bags and led the way

I was feeling scared,I didn't know what to say

A man stood beside me,my mom stopped walking

She put my bags down,I noticed her crying

From then I knew what she was planning to do

She left me with goodbye.It wasn't a good view

The man locked me up in a cell,very dark and cold

None can get in or out,that's what I've been told

I held my knees,it wasn't a nice feeling

To see nothing more but walls and ceilings

I was shocked to see him.the guy I've been seeing

It was all strange to me,to have him beside me

"No" I thought.I suddenly thought

"I AM crazy"  they were right after all

What was depressing  was  that I came to realize this

"He IS dead" and I started to cry

A moment later,I had no sight of him

I felt normal but depressed

I wanted to get out of here

But I know I couldn't

It'll take a lot of time

I hoped that it wouldn't

Now that I'm here alone

I know what I'll do

Pray to God and hope for tomorrow

I'm left in this cell because I wouldn't listen

To the people who loved me,I chose contradiction

I hope to be better sooner or later

I hope for him to stay away from me forever

This is what I learned from him

This is what he made me realize

I was weak and lonely

I quickly lost me

Author's Note

It's been so long since I last posted something

Reviews

[Elanra]

this is a very good piece of work. it seems off at some parts and seems like u tried too hard to make it rhyme but still i just loved the way u wrote it like a story. Its also incredibly sad and at the point where u finally realise you are delusional, it was heart-wrenching cus i could feel the loneliness there...

Overall its a great write.. I think u really should try writing more poems in story format. You have a great potential. Well done ^_^

[Alexander Scott]

I agree with jemane, there definitely is a lot of emotion here. You've shown the reader exactly what it can be like to lose someone unexpectedly. Great write.

[Jenny Nelson]

Definitely lots of emotion. Really conveys how hard it is to lose someone, especially when you just don't expect it. It can mess with your mind, no doubt. Nice write!

[Impulse]

This describes losing someone close to you excellently. The denial that they're gone and then in the end accepting the hard truth that they've really moved on. Excellent write.

[Iota]

This was a good story poem, sad but still good. To lose one self into a world of fantasy must be driven by a lot of pain. Excellent write and excellent story.

[Dev]

This was intense !! Its very wel written and the anguish and pain of losing someone very close comes across so clearly !! It also very vividly describes how having a grip on reality is necessary and accepting the good and the bad is actually required to stay sane

[Aimee]

I really like this. The descriptions were life-like and alltogether it's a very piercing piece.

I like the ending the most.
Extremely strong and well-written.

Good work. [:

This was excellent. Heartbreaking and intense. The only thing I had a problem with was that sometimes you seemed to be stretching for rhymes with some of the endings of lines. That was only every now and then, but everything else was great. I suppose this captures the sentiment of what one of my character's is set to go through a book or two down the track. Well done. I'd put in a smiley, but that seems inappropriate considering the mood of the poem.

[cest la vie]

Well I see the break did you good. This is wonderful. Not in a happy write sort of way, but as in the writing is wonderful. You have taken the reader on all three points. Start, middle, end. Really excellent..
Death to some alive to others that choose to believ the spirit of the departed still lives. Thank so much for the read. Very good!!:-)

[EILEEN McGUINNESS]

It is often sdaid that we are visited by our loveones before they die or after we die and taken on a journey to the AFTERLIFE,this poem was very deep and intense i enjoyed it tremendously,the vivid and apt descriptions of that cell where there was a feeling of helplessness and abject misery were brilliantly portrayed i imagined myself there in that dark depressing place.Well done and thanks for sharing.

[Coyote Poetry]

Wow. Quite a story. It is easy to lose your mind if you lose someone you love and care for. Description and detail made the story come alive. A very good story. Thank you.
Coyote